Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
Q: I will soon be moving to Seattle after having lived all my life in sunny Florida. I am not well equipped for the weather, and was hoping you could recommend appropriate overcoat and footwear options (I cringe at the thought of exposing leather shoes to that much moisture). Would you consider a raincoat too plebian?
A: Hey Alex, kind of a good-news/bad-news scenario, eh? You just reduced your melanoma risk by 100%, but elevated your risk of SAD by at least that much. For the latter, up here in northern Wisconsin we've discovered heavy doses of alcohol usually does the trick. And it sure beats chemotherapy. Anyhow, we digress...
Footwear: Rubber-soled leather shoes will hold up well. Camper is an affordable all-time MB favorite. Depending on your relocation package, also consider Prada (a bunch of new options now at Saks). Just stay away from suede, or keep a suede brush in your laptop bag at all times. Also consider just strapping on some Swims over your existing footwear, and put all your money towards:
Outerwear: Two words: Mackintosh Coat. Your move has provided you with an opportunity to wear this iconic outerwear a lot. Yeah, they're expensive, but a Mackintosh coat is one of those rare pieces that you can wear for a lifetime because it will never go out of style. Go for the original (left, $813.00), or the slightly updated J. Crew version (right, $800.00).
Most importantly, follow Dan Rather and Humphrey Bogart's lead and be sure to turn up the collar.
Q: Dear Magnificent Bastard: My husband has requested a pair of "cool" casual shoes for Christmas. In the past he has worn Campers but I am wondering if they are
post-peak. Any thoughts, suggestions?
A: Camper has become basic, so don't worry about them going post-peak. (We love 'em, incidentally.) If you want to turn the style
dial a click or two to the right, and have him wear something a bit more anonymous, try out a pair of Ballys (top) or Sabelts (bottom). Bally just oozes cool, and Sabelt has a
pedigree in Formula One footwear. Let us know how he deals with a shift from Camper. They can be a hard habit to break.
From the MB mailbag:
Dear Magnificent Bastards,
If you'll indulge me a brief roundup of your recommendations to date:
1. White jeans are gay.
2. Jute mandals are gay.
3. Unless you're in an 80s period movie, you wear brown shoes and belt with a
4. Tucking in part of your
shirt screams "trying too hard to not be a toolbag".
5. Like it or not, a velvet
blazer is almost required apparel for any New Year's party.
6. The UPS Whiteboard Guy
looks almost cool next to the smug "I'm a Mac" guy, particularly since a human Mac would be something more
along the lines of Carson Kressley.
7. If you buy a coat
with a fur collar, you might as well wear it over your Michael Vick jersey.
Otherwise I agree with everything you're doing. Keep up the good work.
MB.com Response: New Year's Eve parties are for fucking amateurs.
Leave these for the kiddies
This is Toolbag Week on Magnificent Bastard. Coming in at #10 is crocs.
If you can read this, you're too old to wear crocs.
If you insist on this type of footwear, may be suggest the Camper Wabi? They also start with the letter "C."
via Camper. $75.00.
Probably the best purchase for Summer '07 has been these Camper jute sandals. They look great with everything. Very rustic and au naturel. The only bummer is the jute can wreak havoc on delicate feet. But light callusing on your soles is a small price to pay in exchange for massive style points.