Magnificent Bastard

Friday, October 24, 2014

Ask the MB

Ask the MB
Q: It's time for me to look into a new hairstyle, and recently a flat top was suggested. Just wondering what the overall opinion of a flat top is. Is it too meat-head-ish? I'm wondering if the pros think it clashes with good clothes. I tend to pull off short hair very well, so I was seriously considering trying it out. However, I figured I needed to ask the experts before assuming anything.
—Mike


A: Let us state this in the most unequivocal way possible: this is a really, really fucking bad idea. When Hall of Fame defensive lineman and TV star Howie Long can't pull it off, it's likely a sign no one can. Getting this haircut actually lowers your IQ, hence damaging your social standing, your career standing, and any standing with chicks (or at least any chicks of interest). Avoid at all costs, unless you've been drafted, and we ain't talkin' 'bout the NFL.

POURCAST

BETA

Old Fashioned

  • 1 raw sugar cube
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • 3 oz bourbon

On bottom of Old Fashioned glass (what else?) dribble bitters on sugar cube. Muddle. Fill with ice, then with bourbon. Garnish with lemon twist. No, not a thick orange wedge, handful of cherries, or a cup of fruit salad. A simple lemon wedge.


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