Magnificent Bastard

Friday, May 27, 2016


See How Donald Trump Inspired the Sale

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!


Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather


Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07


300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300



Robert Downey Jr. Goatee Advisory System Shifts from 'Guarded' to 'Severe'

Robert Downey Jr. Goatee Advisory System Shifts from 'Guarded' to 'Severe'
TOP
At the Oscars, Robert Downey Jr.'s goatee was fairly subtle, but also showing signs of gray, which experienced facial hair analysts typically interpret as a warning sign of brewing facial hair trouble. Thus, his Goatee Advisory System, aka his sunglasses, were indicating a threat level of blue, or "Guarded: General risk of jet-black Vegas magician goatee attack."

BOTTOM
At the Hollywood premiere of Iron Man 2, things had taken a clear turn for the worse, with Downey's Goatee Advisory system getting the upgrade from blue to red, or "Severe: Severe risk of jet-black Vegas magician goatee attack." If you're located in Southern California, it can't hurt to stock up on bottled water and canned food until the Robert Downey Jr. Goatee Advisory System drops to at least yellow. ("Elevated: Significant risk of jet-black Vegas magician goatee attack.")

POURCAST

BETA

Martinez

  • 2 parts Hayman's Old Tom Gin
  • 1 part sweet vermouth (Carpano Antica Formula or Dolin Rouge)
  • 1/4 part Luxardo Maraschino liqueur
  • 2 dashes Fee Brothers Whiskey Barrel Aged Bitters

Shake or swirl lightly, garnish with a lemon twist.


In-Depth Martinez Coverage:

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