Q: The MB-ness of white jeans has been well documented, but what about white cotton dress pants? Denim is too casual, but I would like to step it up at work this summer.
—Dave

A: White pants.

White pants!

WHITE FUCKING PANTS!

Were we previously not clear on the MB-ness of white pants? Sorry.

On summer days when we're not wearing blue jeans or white jeans, we're wearing white pants. However, they're not without their challenges, namely finding them and keeping them clean.

For the former, we have YOOX's white pants latest arrivals on speed dial. If there is a bigger collection of white pants outside of a Naval Academy graduation, let us know. For the latter, just make sure your wife/girlfriend/launderer is aware of the stain-fighting power of Ivory + OxyClean. They're going to need it.

Earlier: Billy Mays: The Best-Laundered Huckster on TV

On Saturday Mark Zuckerberg gave each of his hoodies the day off and donned a suit and tie for his marriage to Priscilla Chan. Zuck impresses with a tie that echoes his jacket's lapel width, the tie's length is just about perfect (the tip nipping at his belt buckle), and he even wore actual shoes instead of the standard Adidas Adilettes (bottom).

But we're definitely not a fan of the wide spread/cutaway collar — a style that works only on Adrian Brody — and the mistake is compounded by pairing it with a four-in-hand knot when a Windsor is called for. Zuckerberg's loosened it up for this pic but when fully tied, a four-in-hand combined with a cutaway or wide spread can expose the part of the tie that's supposed to be under the collar, distracting from the beautiful asymmetry of the knot and, in general, looking like shit. Like this poor bastard on Style Forum.

Earlier: Ask the MB: Spread Collars

Q: Black suit: Is a slim fit black suit a good move for the office and, if so, how should it be accessorized? I prefer to reserve black for evening events, but I'd like to go beyond the navy and charcoal options. (I either don't like light-colored suits, or I don't look good in them...I'm not sure which.)
—JY

A: A black suit — slim-fit or otherwise — is only a good move for exactly two occasions:

1. Funerals
2. Auditioning for a gangster role in a Tarantino pic

If you're bored with navy and charcoal and can't do light colors, try a pattern like a windowpane, pinstripe, or our favorite, Glen plaid like this one from Ralph Lauren

Q: I was randomly looking through Kickstarter today and saw this: American-made, American-grown underwear. What do you think?
—Brian in Seattle

A: In a world where over 56,000 people have pledged over $8.3 million for a clunky wrist device that looks like a Swatch humped a Skycaddie, you'd think American-made (and American-grown, as you astutely point out) undies would generate at least, say, half a mil, right?

No, but a still-impressive $163K has been pledged for Jake Bronstein's Flint and Tinder to make classic briefs, straight-leg boxers, and boxer-briefs at a California clothing factory powered partially by the sun.

While we're opposed to boxer-briefs with leg bands, and "tighty whities" violate our guidelines on testicle-constricting underwear, the boxers look worth the modest investment. We're in.

Earlier: The Magnificent Bastard Underwear Guide

What American men need now: Grocery lists on their wrists

Q: What's your take on eyebrow maintenance? The unibrow is something to be avoided at all costs but there seems to be a lack of guidance on the subject in terms of the well-groomed male.
—Cam

A: Agreed that the unibrow should be avoided, though a few of our favorite Muppets make it work.

Just as we outsource cutting the grass and trimming the shrubs to lawn care professionals, we also recommend outsourcing eyebrow maintenance to your hair care professional. No manscaping here — that's a violation of the artful dishevelment principle — you want just enough deforestation so you don't end up looking like George W. Bush in the Navy pilot or blow years.

Any decent salon (and even a barbershop or two) has warm wax at the ready and can tidy up that patch of real estate in seconds. Simply ask for the service and tip well. It lasts for about four weeks, roughly the same time between haircuts, which is a convenient coincidence.

About this time last year Esquire ran a terrific little piece on top designer Michael Bastian, and how he couldn't afford his own clothes due to an expensive relationship with launch partner Brunello Cucinelli.

We speculated at the time that Bastian was shopping at J. Crew.

By going out on his own it was thought Bastian could lower his prices by 20%, but in fact it seems prices for his clothes have increased by about that much. Just in at thecorner.com:

* $810 for a Western shirt
* $2,915 for a blazer
* $360 for a pair of shorts
* $225 for a tank top
* $1,800 for a cashmere sweater with a ridiculous logo

That cashmere sweater (pictured) has us interested in the emerging field of Designer Algebra. In the Michael Bastian equation, a grey cashmere v-neck sweater is $300. Suede elbow patches are a buck seventy-five. The felt appliqué is 50¢. Put them together and it adds up to $1,800.

Q: What's your opinion of dress shirts from Charles Tyrwhitt?
—Chase

A: Regular readers know we're raging Anglophiliacs but there are some notable exceptions, like the food, the Windsor knot, and the shirts from Jermyn Street menswear outfitters like Charles Tyrwhitt.

Besides the Windsor knot-ready collar design, their shirts all look far too neat due to the stiff, fused interlinings that inhibit artful dishevelment, an MB principle even more dear than Anglophilia.

By contrast, dress shirts with sewn interlinings (or no interlining at all) aren't just more comfortable, they lend themselves to AD, their collars sometimes taking on as much personality as the person wearing them.

To see what we mean, take a look at Cary Grant's shirt collar in North by Northwest, shot before the invention of fusing. In our view, Grant's shirt from this movie should be equally as revered and admired as his Kilgour suit or Persol sunglasses.

Earlier: The Four Things Wrong With the Windsor Knot

Early last year we wondered if Bubba Watson was a toolbag with MB tendencies or vice versa.

Now we're pretty sure it's the latter.

This season Watson combined a pink head with his pink-shafted Ping G20 driver to support Breast Cancer Awareness (Ping donates $300 for every 300 yard drive Watson hits), and at the Masters he just won he wore the same white-on-white outfit for four days to raise money for Fresh Start, a California charity that provides cosmetic reconstructive surgery for children with physical defects.

Now Watson clothing sponsor Travis Mathew is selling a $200 white polo and belt package with 100% of the proceeds going to Fresh Start. If they sell out, an additional $50,000 will be donated to the California-based cancer research center City of Hope.

While both the polo and belt badly violate the MB principle of legible clothing, we're in, and the Pulaski Goodwill soon be receiving a NWT Travis Mathew polo shirt and belt.

Earlier: Top 5 Ways to Make the Green Jacket Look Even Worse

Q: I am going to a summer wedding and want to wear my favorite blue seersucker pants and white shirt. What I'm not sure about is what style shoes should I wear and what color jacket would be best? Also should I wear a tie? If so what kind?
—Sam

A: We would embrace and extend your casual look and wear a deconstructed two-button navy blazer, like this one from Scotch & Soda that's just 85 bucks. As for the tie we'd probably wear madras in a width that echos the 3" S&S blazer lapels, but if you don't have one handy just stuff this Land's End Canvas crinkle twill Tartan pocket square in your chest pocket and call it good. It's on sale for $9.99.

With all the money we just saved you, spend it on the shoes.

We always opt for fun takes on the sneaker, like these Bally boat shoes that would tie your preppy look together, and provide comfort when performing the inevitable running man/Melbourne shuffle.

If you don't think you can (or want to) pull that off, go for a blue suede moc from Car Shoe, the original driving shoe.

Earlier: MB Endorses: Exposed Ankles

Q: So my cheap Target sunglasses finally broke recently, and I'm upgrading to Randolph aviators. In regards to frame style, my instinct screams bayonet, but I've noticed toolbag frames are usually bayonet. For the up-and-coming, detail-driven magnificent bastard, what is your recommendation?
—Sky

A: Never ignore a screaming instinct, we always say. They happen to be right a lot.

While we agree that some toolbag frames are bayonet, Randolph Engineering aviators with bayonet temples are worn by two of our all-time favorite fictional characters: Col. Kilgore in Apocalypse Now (upper left) and Don Draper in Mad Men (upper right), both of whom would certainly qualify as MBs.

As long as you don't shave your head into a mohawk, wear an oversized Army jacket, and plan on assassinating a presidential candidate, you're good.

Earlier: Col. Kilgore's Bracelet and Dog Tag Accessorization

Q: Do you have an opinion on Arnie Wear?
—Mark

A: We absolutely love the idea behind Arnie Wear — who doesn't want to look like Arnold Palmer did in the '60s — it's the execution we have a problem with, with too-long sleeves on the polos, too-long inseams on the shorts, and far too much nylon and quick-dry polyester on everything.

The King never wore quick-dry polyester.

One item we'll be trying out, however, is the Leaderboard dress pant in (mostly) cotton, with a low rise and gentle boot cut (inset). Good golf pants are hard to find, and it looks like you could wear these into the office after a round (unless you get them in Lemon). Plus they'll go great with the Sambas.

Long before Arnie Wear came along, what we've done to put our twist on the '60s Palmer look is find a pair of casual white pants on YOOX, a slim-fitting banded-cuff polo from J.Crew (always on sale), and a fine-gauge cashmere-silk cardigan usually by Cruciani. Add a $4.99 plain white visor from e4hats.com and you are Palmer personified (except for his game).

Earlier: Visors. How and when to wear them.

This took way longer than it should have, but Adidas finally just threw some soft spikes on a pair of Sambas and instantly made the coolest golf shoe on the market. They've even created a limited-edition (only 1,950 pairs) green and gold Masters Packers shoe for fans of the greatest major team.

Q: When should I mothball the tweed for the year? Is it the same in the spring as fall - last freeze as predicted by the Farmer's Almanac? Or just before Easter?
— Mark

A: While the Farmer's Almanac's frost guide is perfect for the introduction of tweed, it's of no use for its retirement. The average last frost in Green Bay, Wisconsin is May 6, which is way, way too late to be wearing tweed. By then we're in white pants, drinking clear liquor.

Just before Easter might work if it had a set date like Christmas, but the range for this holiday 34 days, which is fine for Jesus's resurrection but unhelpful as a style guidepost.

Rather than rely on Mother Nature or Christian holidays for tweed mothbolling, we've been lead instead by the Energy Policy Act of 2005, which extended the start of daylight savings time (DST) three weeks, to the second Sunday in March starting in 2007. For the past six years we've found the start of DST to be a very reliable and natural-feeling tweed end date.

Earlier: Ask the MB: When to Break Out the Tweed

Q: Did you see this? I think I just died a little inside.
—Ben

A: We love imagining the look on "Style Guy" Glenn O'Brien's face when he learned underlings at GQ were suggesting fleece sweatpants ... with ankle-hugging elastic. He probably died a little bit, too, on the outside.

Despite the likes of prodigy designer Alexander Wang and shrunken-man designer Thom Browne doing fleece sweats — if you're insane you can buy a pair of Browne's sweatshorts for $300 — this is a clothing item best left to Rocky Balboa and George Costanza.

For times when we need the functionality of sweatpants — usually a tennis warm-up session and not training for a fight against Apollo Creed — we wear bottoms than emphasize the pants over the sweat. That is, pockets in both front and rear, unfettered leg openings, zip flys, and above all, no fleece. It's the fleece that gives off the "I give up" look.

Try Prada Sport if you can swing it, Fila if you can't.

Note: Due to an unusually high number of entries into the Allyn Scura eyewear contest, the winner won't be announced until tomorrow.

Welcome to the 3rd Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

The challenge: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) — like The Legend favored by reigning People "Sexiest Man Alive" Bradley Cooper — or a $100 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's entirely up to you.

To enter simply email editor@magnificentbastard.com with the names of the men pictured, and in the unlikely event of a tie — this is the hardest contest yet — what they all have in common. One entry per email address. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is next Friday, March 9th.

Earlier: Bradley Cooper in a pair of Allyn Scura Legends with A-list-only blue lenses.

Update: Ben Aitkin correctly identified the MBs pictured above. Top to bottom, left to right:

Frank Lloyd Wright
Spencer Tracy
Orson Welles
Gene Wilder
Bob Ueker
Chris Farley
Steve Miller
Les Paul
Willem Dafoe

He also got the tiebreaker correct (along with a bunch of other fellas): They were all born in Wisconsin.

What the others not do was get their name randomly picked from a Super Bowl XLV hat. Congrats Ben. Enjoy your new glasses from Allyn Scura.