Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
via amazon.com. $379.99.
Q: Hey MB: I happen to be a huge fan of the Burberry brand and have not been able to decide on a bastardly dastardly watch for an up-and-coming MB like myself. Are these watches ok for me to have as an MB? What is your take? I like the fabric because I think it is ultra classic. Could this be worn for any occasion? Let me know.
A: Nick, we object to this purchase for at least two reasons. First, this watch is 44mm in diameter, which, unless you have Popeye-sized forearms, is in clear violation of the 40mm max diameter watch rule. Second, it's $380 at Amazon and has a quartz movement! Quartz vs. mechanical is the equivalent of motorboats vs. sailboats, or gas fireplaces vs. wood fireplaces, or fake breasts vs. real breasts. You can probably guess which side we come down on, but just to be clear: go real. Always. You can even save 100 bucks (at least) on a mechanical watch at westcoastime, and if you're digging the fabric strap and can accept a non-Burberry color combo, use your savings to pick up a couple of Zulu or Bond straps.
Hair by: Loneliness, unemployment, hard living
Dress by: Giorgio Frump
Bracelet by: String, Chicklets
Hair by: Christophe
Jacket by: Arthur Fonzerelli
Scarf by: Burberry
Pants by: Elegant Lesbian
Glasses by: Uhhh ... hmmmm ... we think we've discovered the reason for this whole makeover idea.
Q: I ordered a Burberry stretch cashmere sweater that looks a little too tight. It is size medium and I want to wear an MB collared white shirt under. If I pull it down so that it doesn't leave slack then it becomes tight and long. If I go to a size small it would be way too tight and be too close to the waist. If I go large then it might have too much extra slack. I can't win. Is it better to have clothing that is a little too tight or too loose.
A: You think we do all those grueling lunges, dead lifts, and bench presses so we can hide the results underneath a baggy Burberry cashmere sweater? No sir. This is pretty simple. If you don't have any unsightly bulges then go with a little too tight vs. too loose.
Additionally, about your size dilemma: You can shape a cashmere sweater (even with a little elastane) to be about whatever size and proportion you want with some careful washing, stretching, blocking, and drying.