Magnificent Bastard

Wednesday, August 24, 2016


From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!


Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather


Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07


300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300



jil sander

Ask the MB: Corporate Christmas Party Attire

Bradey Cooper, Johnny Depp, and Harvey Weinstein
Bradey Cooper, Johnny Depp, and Harvey Weinstein

Q: I'll be attending a corporate holiday party with a "black and white semi-formal attire or LA cocktail attire" dress code. Can I get some suggestions? I don't want to look like a broken groom who was just left at the alter. Thanks.
—Gerard

A: For all but the most exclusive occasions, party dress rules are like speed limits: No one expects you to follow the absolute letter of the law. Or in your case, even the spirit. To wit, we ran the phrase "LA cocktail attire" through Google Translate and, here, apparently is the rough approximation: "If you look like Bradley Cooper or Johnny Depp, wear whatever the fuck you want. If you like Harvey Weinstein, consider a tie and jacket. But still wear whatever the fuck you want."

Indeed, have you seen a red carpet lately?

But we don't recommend dollar bill or feather prints. Instead we suggest, from bottom to top:

FOOTWEAR: If you think you can pull off a pair of sandals, then do that, and make certain you schedule a pedi for the day of. Buff. A less-bold play that still requires no lacing or socks are these Prada loafers in two-tone color and fabric.

PANTS: Our tendency is to make slacks the star of the show, and these Dries Van Noten wool tartans are clearly down with the holidays.

SHIRT: White and crisp with a point collar. Top two unbuttoned.

BLAZER: Deferring to the pants, keep this simple. Blue, of course, but let's echo the shoes with Jil Sander.

Unsafe At Any Price: Jil Sander Leather and Calf-Hair Collar

Jil Sander Leather And Calf-Hair Collar via Barneys, $147.25
Jil Sander Leather And Calf-Hair Collar via Barneys. $147.25.

We have been watching this Jil Sander collar for what feels like years now, wondering who might pay $1480, then $589, and now $147.25 for this item. On the one hand, we were conceptually intrigued by Sander's merchandising innovation — she was trying to appify or unbundle something that had traditionally been considered a part of a shirt or jacket rather than a standalone accessory. On the other hand, there was the item itself, which always made us think, "Damn. Somewhere, there's a really toolbaggy, circumcised leather jacket walking around." Now, months later, the snipped foreskin, er, collar, can be had for a 90% discount. And yet sizes S, M, and L are still available. Verdict: Unsafe at any price!

Things We Wish Women Would Wear More Often: Sheer Miniskirts

Things We Wish Women Would Wear More Often: Sheer Miniskirts

The first in a regular series on MB: Things We Wish Women Would Wear More Often. For the inaugural post, we choose this Jil Sander silk crepe miniskirt, on sale for just $125.

Have you seen a candidate for Things We Wish Women Would Wear More Often? Send a note to editor@magnificentbastard.com and tell us why in 140 characters or less (including the link). Example: "Don't worry, this silk crepe miniskirt always looks good. It's only available in sizes 2 – 6. http://bit.ly/1eeuKmz"

If we use it on-air (and on Twitter) we'll send you a 4-pack of Disposable Letterpress Beverage Shields.

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  • 4 oz ginger beer
  • cucumber slice

Fill tall glass with ice. Pour in Pimm’s and ginger beer. Stir. Garnish with cucumber slice.


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