Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
Relax, big spender, we want your knowledge, not your credit card info. If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can then pretend that we knew about it all along.) Send a tip.
Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty.
3.
Stand behind a player while he's putting
If you got a little closer you'd have an even better look at the line.
4.
Eat sunflower seeds
Leave these for the next time you're in a dugout.
5.
Be loud
You made a 12-footer for par. That's terrific. Now act like you've done it before.
6.
Use a rangefinder
"It's 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker." Dude, if you were that good you'd be on a tour.
7.
Use a cellphone
The POTUS cut his round short rather than use on-course communications before the raid on Osama Bin Laden. You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours?
