Friday, April 26, 2024
Friday, April 26, 2024
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1. Dress like a toolbag See also, Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag |
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2. Take a cart Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty. |
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3. Stand behind a player while he's putting If you got a little closer you'd have an even better look at the line. |
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4. Eat sunflower seeds Leave these for the next time you're in a dugout. |
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5. Be loud You made a 12-footer for par. That's terrific. Now act like you've done it before. |
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6. Use a rangefinder "It's 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker." Dude, if you were that good you'd be on a tour. |
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7. Use a cellphone The POTUS cut his round short rather than use on-course communications before the raid on Osama Bin Laden. You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours? |
BETA
On bottom of Old Fashioned glass (what else?) dribble bitters on sugar cube. Muddle. Fill with ice, then with bourbon. Garnish with lemon twist. No, not a thick orange wedge, handful of cherries, or a cup of fruit salad. A simple lemon wedge.
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