Magnificent Bastard

Tuesday, March 19, 2024



organic materials

Ask the MB: Lightweight Pants for Summer

Dunning is a leader in this space, partially thanks to their easily-removed branding.
Dunning is a leader in this space, partially thanks to their easily-removed branding.

Q: I just turned 50. I think I'm getting to the point in my life where I probably should no longer be wearing shorts on a regular basis (if at all). Are there any brands of lightweight pants that you would recommend for summer wear instead of shorts? Also, I don't know if it matters or not, but I'm a larger guy ... 6'1" and around 260 pounds. Thanks in advance for any suggestions you have.
—Chris

A: Chris, at the half-century mark this is a wise choice. We're rarely in shorts except for active-leisure activities like golf, tennis, cycling, surfing, and impromptu au naturel testicle tanning.

We also have a rule: never be seen in shorts one minute past civil twilight.

Under normal circumstances we'd recommend echoing our summer regular-leisure uniform: cheap, slim fit, white, 5-pocket, 98 cotton/2 elastane pants at YOOX from obscure Italian brands.

Here, no.

Our suggestion: Take a look at your local golf big box store, where menswear's best 5-pocket pant style innovation is happening. We're kind of blown away by Puma, Travis Mathew, Walter Hagen, Dunning, and Callaway all offering some remarkably sharp, lightweight pants that will meet your needs this summer. Work, too.

Puma calls their 5-pocket Jackpot pants "the best we've ever made." Customer reviews for Dunning's Player Fit 5-Pocket Golf pants range from "awesome" to "amazing."

The one bummer: they're all 100% some form of plastic. While this is obviously an egregious violation of the organic materials principle, for your 50th, we're giving you, Chris, special dispensation to give them a shot.

Let us know what you think.

MB Deal of the Week: De Marchi Classic Leather Gloves

MB Deal of the Week: De Marchi Classic Leather Gloves

We thought we got a deal on these exceptional cycling gloves when we bought them at €70, marked down from €100. Then again when they were €61.48.

Thanks to a Twitter alert from our price-tracking app, we've learned they're now just €50.

And it gets better. A glitch in the De Marchi shop's checkout marks them down further, to €40.98. At today's exchange rate that's just $46; an insane deal for what we're pretty sure are the best leather cycling gloves made.

While you probably won't look quite like the Italian model on a vintage Legnano, you can at least feel like him.

Earlier: Get Dressed: Breaking Away

Ask The MB: Puffer Vests

An extreme case. Jonah Hill in a hot dog puffer vest.
An extreme case. Jonah Hill in a hot dog puffer vest.

Hi! Is there a puffer vest that you all recommend? Maybe a couple of different brands? I know you recommended Duvetica a few years ago. Are they still your #1? Other brands? Thank you!
—Chris

A: Thanks so much for the question, Chris. We could go on forever about puffer vests as they're a wardrobe staple.

One warning before we list some options: these best suit taller, thinner MBs. If you're carrying a little extra bulk in your torso, the last thing you want to do is add bulk to your torso while the rest of your body keeps the same thickness. You will just look fatter.

With that caveat, we have three rules on puffer vests. They must:

1. Be filled with down. Goose is better than duck.
2. Have a collar (but not a hood)
3. Have some sort of elastic, whether it's the armholes or the waist. Both is better.

Here are a few for your consideration.







Uniqlo Ultra Light Down Vest. $49.99.
If you are merely puffer vest-curious and want to see if they're for you, by far the best gateway is Uniqlo's Ultra Light Down Vest. At just 50 bucks there is no better overall value. Uniqlo fits true to size but this is cut larger. Size one down. Gamefacing like the model is not allowed. Hey kid, you're in a $50 vest.

Aspesi Slim RE Down Gilet. $312 (from $520).
If we had to pick one puffer vest, this is it. Minimal, oozes quality, and has all the features: goose down, adjustable elastic hem, lycra armholes, zip pockets, and an interior zip pocket. Probably because Aspesi is based just a few miles from the Alps, these are packed with feathers and target US cocktail zone 5 and higher. If you are in a warmer cocktail zone it's likely overkill. Has long since replaced Duvetica as our top pick. Aspesi vests fit true to size.

Polo Packable Water-Repellent Down Vest. $169.
We're not normally one for logos but this polo player is retro, iconic, and lacks legibility. A better choice for warmer cocktail zones — or traveling to them — as it's lightweight enough to pack into itself. What's with the gamefacing? Again, not allowed, even at $169. Polo is a shade big. For our Polo puffer vests we go one size down.

Canali Unveils the 'Shacket,' but We Already Own a Bunch

Light Grey Shacket via Canali, $1750.00
Light Grey Shacket via Canali. $1750.00.

Last week Canali announced the arrival of the "shacket," the sartorial fusion of a shirt and a jacket into a single piece of clothing.

While "brunch," "spork," and even "throuple" have nothing to worry about anytime soon, their new proprietary portmanteau does more efficiently describe, for the most part, an MB must-have: a slim-fitting, unstructured, unlined blazer with patch pockets, made of organic materials.

Key benefits include:

  • Quickly dresses up any outfit — but not too much — without looking like you TTH
  • More often than not, you can safely disregard any care instructions and simply throw it in the wash with your boxers
  • Since it comes out of the laundry, there's integrated artful dishevelment

We're really big Canali fans, but their original shacket will set you back $1,750. Here are a few other high-end made-in-Italy options that share the main ingredients, including the requisite 2 buttons and 3⅛" minimum-wide lapels.

Shacket Alternatives

Left to right:

Ermenegildo Zegna. $826.

Tagliatore. $349.

Eleventy. $448.

Earlier in The Great 2-Button vs. 3-Button Debate:
— Kennedy vs. Nixon
— A Reader Challenge to 2-Button vs. 3-Button

Earlier in Lapel Width Debate:
— The Definitive Lapel Width Chart
— Who You Gonna Cast Your Lapel Width Lot With? Band of Outsiders' Scott Sternberg or Tom Ford?

Get Dressed: Breaking Away

Get Dressed: <em>Breaking Away</em>

Pre-pandemic, the vast majority of our bike miles were strictly utilitarian: getting from home to the office and back in a small fleet of cargo bikes and rugged, studded-tire-clad winter beaters. The remaining miles were pleasure rides: going to the liquor store and back.

While we still occasionally fake-commute, COVID-19 has made most rides for fun, and made us rediscover the joy of going fast on minimalist vintage steel road bikes (Principle of Archaism). This year we're completing the look and going full-on Breaking Away (with the addition of a helmet and a 25% higher BMI):

1. De Marchi Classic Merino Shorts (Principle of Organic Materials)
While they're a tad long — even classic Italian brands are not immune to decades of shorts' expanding inseams — it's nothing our tailor can't adjust (and remove the branding while he's at it). The "Elastic Interface Endurance" pad adds comfort for the longer rides, even if you draft off a semi for a segment.

2. EGi Merino Wool Tank Top (Principle of Organic Materials)
Ever hear of EGi? Us either. We took a flier on this Italian-made tank and we're getting more. Slim-fitting yet stretchy, seamless, super comfy. Cheap. Runs one size small.

3. De Marchi Classic Leather Gloves (Principle of Organic Materials)
Almost a perfect late-'70s period match, top-notch Italian craftsmanship, and like the shorts, padding where you need it.

4. Puma Speedcat Sparco Suede Low-Top Sneakers
We've written extensively about the sneakerization of just about all footwear, but unfortunately road cycling shoes remain largely unaffected. So we've turned the Puma Speedcat into a cycling shoe, and so far, so good. They're light, have a low profile, and rigid sole for good pedaling power. Puma runs one size small. If you have any other strong suggestions please drop us a note.

5. De Marchi Classic Merino Sock (Principle of Organic Materials)
Off-white to echo the Puma formstrip, tank, pasty skin.

De Marchi Tips: 1. This brand runs one size small. 2. Sign up for their newsletter and get 15% off the stuff above.

Come si chiama!

MB Endorses: 100% Acrylic Pom Hats From Ski and Tennis Brands That Had Their Heyday in the '70s

MB Endorses: 100% Acrylic Pom Hats From Ski and Tennis Brands That Had Their Heyday in the '70s

Longtime readers will note that we've often argued against legible clothing and for organic materials since our founding in 2007, but we're confessing to breaking both rules when it comes to these hats. (And after all, they're officially accessories.) Why? It's simple: They look so fucking groovy. Here are four we have worn during Zoom calls this winter:

Clockwise from top left:

FILA 100% acrylic pom hat. $15.99

Ellesse 100% acrylic pom hat. 24.90 €

SWIX 100% acrylic pom hat. $31.95

K2 100% acrylic pom hat. $24.95

MB Endorses: Grass Sticks Bamboo Ski Poles

MB Endorses: Grass Sticks Bamboo Ski Poles

After unboxing these tonight, we're ashamed to even admit we've previously used aluminum poles.

Handmade by a small shop in Steamboat Springs, they almost entirely fulfill on the MB "organic materials" principle, not just with the 'boo of course, but also the rubber grips. And they're covered with a marine-grade coating that looks rugged enough to withstand a yard sale at the annual Big Sky Pond Skim.

There's only one incongruous detail keeping these out of our HOF: the recycled polyester straps. But to MB-mod these all you need is a Phillips screwdriver, boxcutter, hole punch, and your favorite 5oz. leather. We used some brown Horween Chromexcel scraps leftover from our wallet production that turned out great.

Due to Covid-related supply delays they are 2 weeks out. So plan ahead and be ready for the first big dump.

EARLIER: Get Dressed: Killing Bumps in Steamboat Springs

Ask the MB: Vuarnet Sunglasses

Ask the MB: Vuarnet Sunglasses

Q: What do you think about Vuarnet sunglasses? Back in the day I skied with a pair of 002 Cateyes and no helmet. I've noticed they're on the scene again, but the rest of the Vuarnet collection is kicking off a Thermonuclear Toolbag Oakley vibe. Think pairing a tortoise shell Vuarnet 02 with Alps and Meters Alpine Winter Trousers and Anorak. Do you sanction the re-released 02?
—Dan

A: Sure, we sanction the re-released 02 — it's a legendary frame — but why bother when you can get the original!

These genuine vintage frames satisfy the MB principle of archaism, and will also save you 110 bucks. You'll need it if you decide to get into that Alps and Meters gear.

Thanks a lot for the tip on A&M, BTW. While the anorak ($695) is not up our alley for skiing — a hood/helmet combo has never worked for us — those alpine winter trousers ($725) look fantastic. Wool-blend herringbone with leather leg paneling are a great way to stand apart from the nylon and polyester-clad hoi polloi.

EARLIER: Get Dressed: Killing Bumps in Steamboat Springs

MB Endorses: PUMA x RHUDE

MB Endorses: PUMA x RHUDE

We've been admiring (and desiring) Rhude since we first laid eyes on their Traxedo Pant, but at price tag exceeding the per-capita income of most of sub-Saharan Africa, haven't been able to pull the trigger.

Rhude's collaboration with Puma made access to a touch of their style available at a fraction of the price, so we tried out the XTG Track Top and can endorse it (especially now that it's marked down to $79).

While the 59-41 fabric composition does challenge our organic materials principle, in the track jacket genre this is in the organic top 1%. And the blend serves a purpose: the poly keeps it from fading to charcoal gray, and the cotton mutes the shine so you don't look like a player at The Villages. Fits true to size.

Source: The World Bank

MB Build Part 6: Accessories

MB Build Part 6: Accessories

After splurging on shoes we had $406 left for accessories, the other place we recommend making a disproportionately large wardrobe investment.

We bought our client a 300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt: Water Buffalo "Classic" Edition (#1), and its subsequent companion, the 300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt: Water Buffalo "High Plains Noir" Edition (#2), along with the Ragu di Carni MB tie (#3).

Now, these purchases might be seen as shameless Trumpian self-dealing, but this belt so special it was our client who insisted on getting one of each. We set out to build a daily-wearer that could dress up or down, with a luxe touch in the form of a sterling silver buckle. They also exude a rugged character, are incredibly durable, and are yet surprisingly soft to the touch ... sometimes when we start rhapsodizing about these belts, we're not sure if we're talking about them or Clint Eastwood's face.

The tie is no slouch, either. In fact, as the name suggests, it's one thick, rich, meaty tie. Honestly, the wool here is practically blanket-weight. If you are dating a supermodel she might be tempted to use the Ragu di Carne as a throw when she cozies up on your couch, so be careful where you leave it lying around. The Ragu di Carne's fabric comes from a mill in Biella, Italy, and is transformed into the tie you see here by our favorite multi-generational tie-making concern in Queens.

See how they integrate with the uniform on the updated Dresserizer.

So that does it. Version 1.0 of MB Build is complete, and our client has $146 leftover from the original $2,000 to rollover to a comparable S/S look, if he'll have us back.

Final tally with asset allocation chart:

Shirts: $240
Sweaters: $194
Pants: $204
Blazer: $273
Shoes: $683
Accessories: $260
TOTAL: $1,854

MB Build Part 2: Sweaters

MB Build Part 2: Sweaters

Two weeks ago we settled on four shirts as the first step in the MB Build process: 3 plaids in wide-enough ranging check sizes and color combos to provide sufficient variety, and one solid, necessary for the times our client wears a tie. The total was $240, leaving a $1,760 balance from our original $2,000 budget.

Part 2 is sweaters. For now we're investing more heavily here (3) than our original museum director recommendation and going more lightly on blazers (1), simply because our client is not a museum director. These four items will pair with the shirting, creating a 16-combination torso "uniform" that takes the guesswork out of dressing for work.

Until George Jetson's robotic-arm walk-in closet can be summoned into action with a voice command, our client will still have the chore of putting his arms into armholes and pulling a sweater over his head, but sartorial decision-making can be left to the push of a button.

The Keepers

1, 2 When these two fantastic 4-season silk/cashmere cardigans arrived, we could barely resist keeping them for ourselves. By Heritage, another obscure Italian brand with a 40-year knitwear pedigree that we only discovered after placing this order. We got 'em for $63. They're now back up to $175, which we would still happily pay. If you find any silk/cashmere Heritage you like, buy it.

3 Ballantyne is best known for their funky argyles that rock the links, yet this solid v-neck also tempted us into theft. Like the cardigans, $63 (originally $213).

We Threw This One Back

Uniqlo is likely our top branded retailer, so we ordered this $39.90 merino crewneck. It's a fine sweater. But how ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've tried on Italian-made silk/cashmere?

Budget Update:

Heritage 1 -$63
Heritage 2 -$63
Ballantyne -$63
Shipping/Returns -$5
TOTAL -$194
PREVIOUS SPEND -$240
INITIAL BUDGET $2,000
BALANCE $1,566

UP NEXT: Pants or the Blazer, depending on what we find for our client.

EARLIER:
MB Build: Creative Brief and Project Kickoff
MB Build Part 1: Shirts

Get Dressed: Killing Bumps in Steamboat Springs

Get Dressed: Killing Bumps in Steamboat Springs

1. Naked & Famous Snow Pant Denim. "Trump Skis in Jeans" is a popular bumper sticker out here. He only wishes he could be so stylish! We've raved about Naked & Famous's Snow Pant Denim for a decade, or about as long as they've stopped making them. Please join our quixotic effort to get Naked & Famous to resume production, and send them a note.

2. Valentino Ski Jacket. This purchase resulted in a confirmation call from American Express, and we said, "Yes, sir. Thanks for asking. Signature pieces are worth this expense." Valentino is currently owned by the Qatari royal family — where they're probably 1500 miles from the nearest ski resort — but got some excellent consulting, packing it with down, a high collar, knit cuffs, and left-breast lift-pass pocket.

3. Wigens Bear Claw Gloves. Part of our Biking to Work in Arctic Conditions collection, these are also great for skiing. Every ride up the chair people ask, "Where did you get those?!" Wigens has stopped making them, and instead inexplicably focused their business on newsboy caps, so they're available only on eBay.

4. K2 Mambas Yes, Hart's F17 Fusion are the bump ski standard, but we were unable to resist the '70s colorblock styling on the K2 Mamba "bump killers." (Also they are half the price.) Compared to either the Hart or the K2, today's all-mountain, wide-waisted skis feel like you've strapped on a pair of 2x4s.

5. Bollé 711s Unless it's snowing, we're part of the 1% who still prefer sunglasses over goggles. Our favorites are these Bolle 711s with sideshields, designed for glacier mountaineering. They're just $75 and available at the official MB eyewear outfitter, Allyn Scura.

MB Deal of the Week: American Trench Merino Activity Socks

Activity Socks. Regular price: $19.50. Now 15% off.
Activity Socks. Regular price: $19.50. Now 15% off.

Way back in April the New York Times endorsed American Trench's Silver Crew Socks, noting AT's colorful upgrade to military socks, which are normally limited to "drab olive and other camouflage tones."

They're fine socks. They're even true military spec — which means Donald Trump won't visit them in a war zone — but we believe American Trench makes better socks. In fact, we believe they make perhaps the best socks: The Merino Activity Socks with Silver.

61% wool and 1% silver, which is enough to keep away the stinky microbes, but not enough to trigger a TSA pat-down screening. And they're not kidding about "activity"! They're the sporty sock equivalent of a Swiss Army Knife. We've used them for lumberjacking, cycling, tennis, golf (alongside pants), and even poolside DJing (alongside shorts and high-tops). They're awesome for just lying around, too, especially when when temps are in brown liquor territory.

Why did we wait until Cyber Monday to tell you about them? Two reasons: One, they were out of stock on most of the colorways for most of 2018. Two, they weren't on sale until now: 15% off until 11:59 PST Monday, November 26.

MB Endorses: Mack Weldon No-Show Socks

MB Endorses: Mack Weldon No-Show Socks

For over a decade we've been a strong advocate for exposed ankles and recommending Converse "Cut for Chucks" socks as the best way to do it. But in the past year or so Converse has gone full-on former Trump associate, flipping the materials mix from ~90% cotton to 98% polyester.

It almost ought to be illegal!

As our original Converse CFCs have approached threadbare, along came Mack Weldon's more prosaically named "no-show socks", restoring a proper organic materials dominance of 85% cotton, with a padded footbed and an elastic top that perfectly balances keeping them on vs. cutting off circulation.

We're such big fans of these socks that we took advantage of Mack Weldon's 20% off $200 offer and got 26 pair of socks for $171.60 (including free shipping). Crazy? Perhaps. But as Keeling Curve data would suggest, longer ankle-exposing seasons only show signs of getting longer. (Also, we know a valuable and rare item when we see it, and when that happens we buy in bulk. Yet to regret it.)

MB Laboratory: Golf Bag

MB Laboratory: Golf Bag

When we go a couple of weeks without posting it's because we're lazy and drunk. This time, though, we've just been drunk, and busy in the lab concocting what we believe will be the most desirable golf bag ever created. Leather, naturally. Perhaps even more minimal than the Minimum Viable Wallet. All materials and construction Made in the USA.

What's taken the longest is designing the single side bag, which is in fact 3 bags in 1: a main bag for balls and tees, a valuables pocket for your phone and wallet and keys, and another one for your cashmere sweater or windbreaker.

It's going to be magnificent. Stay tuned for updates. Our goal is to have it ready to ship for Christmas. Just don't hold us to a specific year.

Ask the MB: What Kind of Cane Do You Recommend?

Howell vintage wooden cane with sterling and horn handle
Howell vintage wooden cane with sterling and horn handle

Q: I recently injured my left knee and need to use a cane. The insurance company supplied an ugly blue aluminum number that looks like it came from a drug store. Since it seems that I will need a cane for some time to come, I am thinking of trying to find a plain aluminum one or getting a nice wood cane. What do you think?
—P.T.

A: P.T., if you've read our recent post about peacoats and the wisdom of following MB Principles of Anglophilia, Archaism, and Organic Materials, isn't the answer obvious? You need a vintage wooden cane from England.

More specifically, you need a Howell cane. According to cane aficionado Canequest, the brand was founded by John Howell in London in 1832, and his canes were the shit with it mid-19th century Londoners suffering from knee injuries like yours.

As you might expect, eBay UK is the place to find them. We're so smitten with this £110.00 sterling and horn-handled version we may just pre-purchase in case of an ACL. Get it before we do.

Ask the MB: Is the Peacoat a Timeless Classic or Out of Style?

Ask the MB: Is the Peacoat a Timeless Classic or Out of Style?

Q: I recently bought a peacoat - dark navy, well fitted, none of those goofy epaulettes or anything like that. I say it's a timeless classic but my girlfriend says they're out of style. Who's right?
—Peter

A: Peter your GF is so spectacularly wrong we're gravely concerned about any sartorial advice you may have taken from her.

Would Tom Ford be asking $4,950 for his peacoat take if he thought they were out of style?

We're big fans too, because the garment adheres to at least 3 key MB principles:

1. Principle of Anglophilia
It originated in the British Royal Navy.

2. Principle of Archaism
It's been a standard part of the United States Navy uniform since 1881.

3. Principle of Organic Materials
The definitive Naval Clothing Factory peacoat is 100% wool, with corduroy-lined pockets (cotton).

You nailed a few of our peacoat requirements (i.e. navy, flair-less, slim fit), and hopefully our most important one: a Three Days of the Condor Collar. You need to be able to stand it up tall like Redford.

When it comes to peacoat collars, size does matter.

Style blog consensus favors the Billy Reid "Bond" version ($695; pictured upper left), but the anemic collar is in desperate need of growth hormone, and is a disqualifying feature. For others who might be in the peacoat market, first check the local military surplus, and if you're flush consider this gorgeous Maison Margiela option.

MB Deal of the Week: Todd Snyder Shearling Topcoat in Camel

Todd Snyder Shearling Topcoat via Todd Snyder, $1999.00
Todd Snyder Shearling Topcoat via Todd Snyder. $1999.00.

The 20 percent discount on this Todd Snyder topcoat may not seem like much of a deal by 2017 standards. But winter is coming — meteorologically and metaphorically. And we love the way this coat looks cozy enough for, say, a young Shelly Winters to sprawl on, while maintaining a cosmopolitan sleekness that will look right at home on the streets of Manhattan during the next polar vortex. Regularly $2598, now $1999 — the perfect price to usher in the year ahead!

Ask the MB: Rabbit Fur-Lined Gloves

Ask the MB: Rabbit Fur-Lined Gloves

Q: I have my eye on a pair of those rabbit fur-lined gloves you endorse as an xmas gift to myself. I know it might not be totally MB to care about how the rabbit fur gets inside, but I've seen a couple of PETA rabbit fur videos and don't want any part of them if they're made using that technique. Please tell me they're free-range rabbits and are only used for glove lining after they die of natural causes.
—Ben

A: Ben, would you like us to tell you that there's a Santa Claus too?

Sorry, we can't sugarcoat it. But at least the answer we can give you is not as awful as what you might be expecting after watching those videos, which document what PETA saw at some angora rabbit farms in China. Here's what Fratelli Orsini told us when we asked about the source of the rabbit fur they use in the gloves:

The shell of the glove is Italian lambskin and the rabbit fur comes from either France or Belgium where rabbits are used as a food source and therefore the pelts are used for gloves and other garments.

In other words, if you're okay with wearing a leather belt that comes from a farm-raised cow that ended up as a hamburger, you might find the gloves acceptable too. If not, you will have to continue your quest for free-range fur. If you choose that course, let us know how it goes.

Ask the MB: Camel Coat

Lubiam Camel-Hair Single-Breasted Topcoat via Neiman Marcus, $1995.00
Lubiam Camel-Hair Single-Breasted Topcoat via Neiman Marcus. $1995.00.

Q: I used to follow you guys religiously until the content dropped off a few years back. I assumed it was due to you solving all the world's problems and too many MB cocktails. Glad to see that is over.

Anyhow, now that's it's winter: camel overcoats. What's your take?
— Josh

A: Josh, glad to have you back.

Once the first snowflake flies our outerwear is almost exclusively filled with goose feathers, yet we do admire the traditional camel overcoat because it adheres to some core MB principles:

1. Archaism
2. Organic materials
3. Something Donald Trump would never wear

MB Tip: Opt for one that's shorter rather than longer, because, quite simply, the longer you go the shorter you look.

Try to hit the mid-thigh, like this true camel hair Lubiam, or if you don't want to spend two grand on a coat this Theory interpretation. Hardy Aimes is pushing it dangerously close to the knees with their slim fit topcoat but that cut pulls it back up into strong consideration.

Any longer and you're veering into trench coat territory a la Inspector Clouseau and Gadget — and that's no place you want to be.

Ask the MB: Acceptable Gym Clothes

Ask the MB: Acceptable Gym Clothes

Q: Big fan of your posts. I love your products too. The Emperor's Tourniquet is the best tie in my closet for sure.

So, I hit the gym pretty regularly, it's not as classy as JFK and sailing, but then not all of us own boats and horses. The appalling apparel worn by most men to the gym makes me nauseous (baggy shorts and low cut tank tops - the ones that have armpit holes which show the entire torso). Anyway what are your recommendations for gym clothing and shoes that are acceptably MB and yet functional enough (sweat wicking)?Against my initial apprehensions I am considering some of the men's gear from lululemon - what are your thoughts on the clothing on their website?

—TJ

A: Good question. At Complex.com, they advise that "wearing gym clothes out in public" is a major mistake. We take that philosophy a step further. Or maybe even a dumbbell lunge further: Wearing gym clothes in the gym is usually a mistake too.

What makes a man think that because he's working up a sweat his style gets to take a break?

We're not sure. But what we do know is that many men who would never dream of dressing like a toolbag in the office or a bar find bandana headbands, deep armhole tank tops, and over-the-knee polyester mesh shorts perfectly acceptable as long as they are within 50 feet of an elliptical trainer.

That's incorrect.

You're showing the right instinct with that lululemon site, at least in terms of its emphasis on dark, solid colors and clothes that fit closely without getting too clingy. But following our foundational principle of organic materials, we look for workout wear made from merino wool, which we aren't seeing there.

Because no one has ever seen a sheep on a treadmill, or even doing anything except standing still on a hillside, people don't necessarily think of wool as being a good material for the gym. But as lazy cyclists have long known, wool wicks well and doesn't stink even after repeated usage.

Outlier makes our preferred gym shirt, a v-neck short sleeve of 100 percent Merino. Unfortunately, they're currently sold out. We're taking that as a good reason to skip the gym for a while, but if you're feeling more ambitious than us, here's two alternatives: The Wooly Clothing Merino, made in China, and the Rambler's Way Cross Neck Tee, made in the USA.

Finding all-wool shorts is difficult. These days we're settling for this wool blend version from Smartwool.

With shorts, though, we're not as concerned about the materials as we are about some general guidelines. Namely, no stripes and no mesh, and leave any pair that gets within 3 inches of the top of your kneecap to that guy by the weight bench who looks like Guy Fieri's ripped twin.

Get Dressed: Biking to Work in Arctic Conditions, the Ultimate Guide

Get Dressed: Biking to Work in Arctic Conditions, the Ultimate Guide

Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio are going to have to take a lot more trans-oceanic plane trips before they manage to put a dent in the bone-bruising chill that greets us every morning in Minneapolis this time of year. But while there's nothing we can do to avoid the snow, sleet, and ice, we can avoid the even-worse-than-usual traffic and parking-space hunts that come with them. How? By continuing to ride our bikes to work, even in the face of sub-zero temperatures.

How do we pull this off without looking like we're about to engage in some heavy breathing with a couple of broad-shouldered Scandinavian beauties at the Winsport Olympic Luge Track? We lay out our strategy below.

HEAD

Smartwool Balaclava underneath a Smartwool Reversible Training Beanie. This is the warmest headwear combination that can still fit under your helmet.

1. Bell Faction in Matte Black. Minimal. Cheap. Works for the aforementioned DiCaprio, and us, too.

2. Nannini "TT" Goggles. Made for motorcyclists but adopted by cyclists looking for a stylish way to keep your eyelids from freezing shut.

TORSO & LEGS

3. Smartwool Baselayer underneath a 8 Wool Turtleneck. A baselayer under a jacket is all we usually need in anything above 10°F but it was -6°F this morning so we layered with a wool turtleneck. 8 makes a stylish one, with value.

4. Love Moschino Long Down Puffer. Down blazer-style jackets and some days even down shirts work for Minneapolis winter commuting. But not this neo-Polar Vortex shit. At anything below 0°F we pull out the long down puffer. Jack Frost may nip at your nose, but first he nips at your toes, then, surprisingly, your ass. Having goose feather coverage back there helps prevent his bite.

5. Smartwool Baselayer underneath Naked and Famous Snowpant Denim. Naked and Famous is responsible for some of the most important innovations in the history of denim, like scratch and sniff raspberry scented jeans. But their all-time best effort is the discontinued Snowpant Denim, a deep indigo wash treated with a waterproof and wind-resistant coating, and lined in comfy fleece. Look for them on eBay and try to grab them before we do.

HANDS

6. Wigens Bear Claw Gloves The synthetic lobster claw gloves you see most winter commuters wearing are neither a warmth nor a dexterity match for these Swedish leather and fur marvels. Unfortunately Wigens seems to have stopped making them. Set up an eBay alert.

FEET

Minnesota-based 45NRTH makes the popular Wölvhammer commuter boot, but they're nearly as heavy as a pair of Pacs, only rated to 0°F, and don't abide by our un-gear aesthetic. After several years of trial and error we've concocted a 4-step footwear solution that's fairly lightweight and can hold up to a 45 minute commute at -20°F.

Darn Tough Hunting Socks. Not all wool socks are created equal. We've tried a dozen different brands and Darn Tough are the best. Made in Vermont.

7. Fleece-Lined Sorel Slip-on Sneakers. Yes, fleece-lined sneakers. These run large.

Teosport Neoprene Toe Covers. Put these over the Sorels.

8. Swims "Mobster" Rubber/Neoprene Waterproof Boots. Wrap the cozy package up in perhaps our all-time favorite footwear and off you go.

Get Dressed: Packers vs. Chargers — October 18, 2015 at Lambeau Field

Get Dressed: Packers vs. Chargers — October 18, 2015 at Lambeau Field

Our annual pilgrimage to Lambeau is expected to be colder than we were expecting, with a high of just 52 and low near 40. So we're getting dressed. (As always, check Pourcast to determine what cocktail to be consuming at any day and any time at any place around the globe.)

1. Pants. The best 5-pocket corduroy pants we've ever worn are Uniqlo's Slim Fit Corduroy Jeans. Indeed, you have to be slim and fit to wear these, but as the product description says, they do in fact "create slender, fashionable lines," work during the week, and have the versatility to play on Sundays. We're wearing them in off white. A tremendous value at just $39.90. They're vanity sized about 1 inch in the waist (so size down).

2. Belt. A critical element of our understated fandom gameplan is our own Game Day Belt. Made from the same Horween leather that's used to make the official NFL footballs, and constructed right here in the Twin Cities. Fits perfectly true to size.

3. Shirt. Five years ago we all got this Red Jacket long sleeve anti-jersey and they're still playing in the league. Yes, there is some legibility on the back, but it's the name of perhaps our favorite Packer and MB archetype Paul Hornung, famous less for his football than for his womanizing, drinking, and gambling. Fits true to size. (Lots of other options available from Mike Ditka to Johnny Unitas.)

4. Shoes. Sneakers and exposed ankles are usually the play call for mid-October Packer games, but given the forecast we're audibling into ankle boots. Since our all-time favorite TST chukkas have seemingly gone the way of Peyton Manning's arm strength, we're substituting them for these Joyks with beautiful thick white rubber whitewalls. (We may additionally substitute free-agent white laces.) Fits fractionally small.

5. Vest. We have a thing — bordering on fetish — for goose-down puffer vests. 313, Montecore, and Marville provide the best value, but if you have the cash Duvetica is the way to go. This version — along with a Hall of Fame headbuzz — will stiff-arm the dramatic post-game cool-down, and the blue-and-gold color combo is a subtle, tasteful nod to the Packer throwback jerseys (which the team will be wearing on Sunday). We always size down one for puffer vests, and this is no exception.

Introducing the Game-Day Belt

Game-Day Belt via Magnificent Bastard, $95.00
Game-Day Belt via Magnificent Bastard. $95.00.

No, this is not the official belt of the NFL. That wouldn't make sense, because NFL players don't wear leather belts. For us, though, our new Game-Day Belt has become an indispensable part of our viewing uniform. We have couch-tested in throughout the entire preseason, and we are now looking forward to see how it performs in regulation play, when everything's on the line. For more information, visit our shop.

Just in Time for Opening Day: The Magnificent Bastard Game-Day Luxury Box

Game-Day Luxury Box via Magnificent Bastard, $90.00
Game-Day Luxury Box via Magnificent Bastard. $90.00.

Exhibition games are mercifully over. Final cuts have been made. It's time for a new season of NFL action, and that means it's also time to introduce our latest lifestyle accessory: The Magnificent Bastard Game-Day Luxury Box. Crafted by fourth-generation woodworker Kyle Huntoon of Hunt & Noyer, this Super Bowl-caliber six-pack caddy is constructed from sturdy furniture grade pine, real football leather from Horween, genuine AstroTurf, and our own hard labor. (It's true; we screwed the straps into the boxes ourselves.)

Let's huddle and break this down in a little more detail. The box itself is made in Detroit. The strap comes from a Chicago leather supplier. The strap was cut and finished in a Minneapolis leatherworks, and all the finishing touches were done in our garage by Packer fans. Talk about a team effort — that's 100% of our all-time favorite division, the NFC North!

Buy one this week, and we'll throw in a six-pack's worth of Disposable Letterpress Beverage Shields on the house.

Ask the MB: Give Us 100% Cotton or Give Us Death

Ask the MB: Give Us 100% Cotton or Give Us Death

Q: I appreciate your effort, but it looks like your Trump Tie Sale isn't doing much to stem The Great Toolbag Rebellion of 2015. The latest polls show that Trump is now "the clear leader in the race for the GOP nomination."

Is it time for all MBs in arms to take up more extreme measures and get a Hillary t-shirt?
— Alex

A: $30 for a "union printed, American made" t-shirt that's 50 percent polyester? Seems a bit expensive to us. For comparison's sake, Bernie Sanders is offering a 100 percent cotton t-shirt that is "union-made and printed in the USA" for half the price — $15. So we guess we know who UNITE HERE is backing.

We also think that stylish campaign-wear is extremely difficult to pull off. In fact, the only successful effort we can think of off-hand is Ronald Reagan's cheerleading squad from the 1966 California gubernatorial election.

So we're going to pass on the t-shirts for now and just take our chances in November 2016. If worse comes to worst, our bunker is stocked with more than enough Bulleit and Apfelkorn to see us through the Trumpacolypse.

EARLIER: How Donald Trump inspired our sale.

Get Dressed: Tennis Match During Wimbledon

Get Dressed: Tennis Match During Wimbledon

We're trying something new: Get Dressed.

We get a lot of "what should I wear?" questions at Ask the MB, so we thought than on occasion, when we're having an occasion, we'd share what we wear. Articles and accessories will reflect core MB tenets like archaism, Anglophilia, artful dishevelment, and a few others that don't start with the letter A.

The first occasion: A singles match at the club during Wimbledon.

For any tennis played during this fortnight we always channel two of our all-time favorites, Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe, and split the difference where we can. We also strictly follow the Club's hopelessly vague and wonderfully antiquated "almost entirely white" rule.

1. Shorts. While ATP players' shorts have not yet reached the slacks-like length of the NBA and NCAAB, they're still far too long for our taste. We want zero restriction as we go wide to reach for our opponent's cross-court volley, and tanned thighs nicely accompany a down-the-line winner in response. 4" max inseam here, and cotton of course (principle of organic materials). So we're wearing these Sergio Tacchinis (the McEnroe brand) from a terrific UK eBay shop called honourabletype. Bookmark this one. $43.69.

2. Shirt. McEnroe got the shorts, so naturally Borg gets the shirt. What else but Borg's iconic Fila striped polo with oversize collar and 4-snap placket? $41.99.

3. Shoes We could take the court with the left foot wearing a Borg Diadora and the right foot in a McEnroe Nike, but instead we're opting for the classic style, relative obscurity, and archaism of Pantofola d'Oro low-tops in white. Launched in Ascoli Piceno, Italy in 1886, these are made for the street but hold up great on the court, and no one else wears them. $210.00.

4. Socks Simple. Wigwam King Knee High Tubes. Push 'em way down, exactly opposite as pictured. $8.00.

Ask the MB: Reversible Belts

W.KLEINBERG Ostrich/Croc Reversible Belt, Navy/Brown via Bergdorf Goodman, $374.00
W.KLEINBERG Ostrich/Croc Reversible Belt, Navy/Brown via Bergdorf Goodman. $374.00.

Q: Wondering what you think about reversible belts like this croc/ostrich one — toolbag gimmick or useful wardrobe expansion technique? Also, that buckle looks strangely familiar.
—Jim

A: At first glance, a belt that efficiently moonlights as another belt might seem to violate the principle of senseless lack of utility. In this case, though, the utility manifests itself in the realm of style. That is to say, a reversible belt doesn't make any claim to hold up your pants better, or provide some other practical benefit. It just multiplies the possibilities of looking magnificent. And that's the kind of utility we can embrace. In fact, we have plans to someday release a reversible belt ourselves.

Nonetheless, while we conceptually endorse reversible belts, there's still the matter of execution. Regarding the belt you've got your eye on, we love the Caiman crocodile side. But we think the full-quill ostrich side should probably bury its head in the sand. In other words, we'd approach this one as a strictly one-sided belt if we were to incorporate it into our wardrobe.

Finally, yes, that buckle does look familiar. Same one we use on our cashmere belts. Good eye!

Ask the MB: Watch Bracelets and Straps

Ask the MB: Watch Bracelets and Straps

Q: I'm so glad to see you guys back and actively posting again. You all are hilarious!

I recently got my first metal/bracelet watch, and I'm not sure how loose or tight to wear it. I generally wear my leather strap watches relatively snug, but I saw someone at work with a suit wearing their metal bracelet watch much lower. It looked pretty cool going along with the rest of the cuff game. I wanted to ask, is a low-slung watch MB, or just sloppy?
—Bill

A: We hate to disappoint a longtime reader, but you asked, and we can only offer our honest opinion. Even by its name — you tellingly called it a metal bracelet — your new acquisition falls into the category of jewelry. Check out our jewelry channel to see what we think about jewelry, but the short answer is that 95 percent of what we spend on jewelry is intended for some woman's neck, ears, or nipples.

As for wearing a metal bracelet loosely, our feeling is that this just compounds the error. We grant that such calculated sloppiness might be viewed as artful dishevelment, but for us it just conjures hazy but unpleasant memories of handcuffs. Our ultimate advice: Nip this metal bracelet phase in the bud and stick to your leather straps (organic materials principle). And while we're giving out watch-wearing advice, a reminder. Keep the watch case to 40mm or less.

Earlier: Big Watches Favored Primarily by Toolbags

Ask the MB: Kombi Captain Freedom Gloves

Bucco Bruce Top; Wigens Bearclaw Gloves Bottom via amazon.com, $150.00
Bucco Bruce Top; Wigens Bearclaw Gloves Bottom via amazon.com. $150.00.
Q: I was all set to pick up a pair of the MB-approved Kombi Captain Freedom gloves for a ski trip in Jackson Hole, when I discovered that the folks at Kombi have altered the design. (new one here: http://www.snowshack.com/detail/SNW+KB-30324+L). It's like New England getting rid of the Pat Patriot helmet. Some things just don't make sense. Nonetheless, the gloves are still pretty sweet. Do you approve?
—Andrew


A: What's worse? New England getting rid of Pat Patriot or Tampa Bay abandoning the winking pirate Bucco Bruce? We say the latter by a nautical mile.

At any rate, we were completely joking about wearing the Kombi Captain Freedom gloves for skiing. (Though we weren't joking at all about wearing the Naked and Famous Snowpant Denim; they are terrific for banging bumps.)

What we're wearing this year is Wigens bearclaw gloves (bottom). Made in Sweden, these not only protect your fingers from Jack Frost, they also double as part of a Halloween costume if you're dressed as a black bear. 100% goat leather plus 100% rabbit on the outside, the only problem with these is they're too warm.

Ask the MB: J.Crew's Mougin & Piquard Watch

Real breasts
Real breasts
Q: Just saw on J.Crew's website that J.Crew has teamed with Tourneau to create a watch by former watch makers Mougin & Piquard. I think it would be a great watch to add to the collection. What's your opinion on how MB it is and is it worth the $425 price tag?
—Zack


A: Normally we're in favor of watches made by defunct Swiss manufacturers that require a pronunciation guide — it's pronounced mooj-awe and peek-are — but this watch is a definite pass. It's ironic that J.Crew is resurrecting a brand that was killed off by the quartz movement craze of the '70s, yet with Tourneau's help fits this watch with a quartz movement!

We've said it before, but quartz vs. a mechanical movement is the equivalent of motorboats vs. sailboats, or gas fireplaces vs. wood fireplaces, or fake breasts vs. real breasts. It's a corollary to the long-standing MB principle of organic materials. For around $300 you can get a decent Swiss-made military-inspired mechanical watch and save enough money to buy a cord of firewood.

ELSEWHERE: The "quartz crisis" that laid waste to Mougin & Picard and many other Swiss mechanical watch manufacuters.

Ask the MB: Espadrilles

ASOS Gingham Espadrille Shoes via asos.com, $17.24
ASOS Gingham Espadrille Shoes via asos.com. $17.24.
Q: What is your take on espadrilles?
—Bill


A: In the June 2011 GQ creative director Jim Moore stops just short of endorsing them but recognizes their popularity saying they're "a big trend this summer," and that they're best "anytime you'd wear your flip-flops." [page 58]

Even though they were invented in the 14th century (principle of archaism), and are usually made of canvas and rope (principle of organic materials), for us they fall into the footwear no-mans land between a shoe and a sandal, currently occupied by MB bête noires Sanuks and Crocs.

However, if your preferred pedicurist is booked — June is Pedicure Awareness Month, BTW — we say go for it, as long as they're a. less than 20 bucks, and b. gingham.

Earlier: Brad Pitt wears Sanuks so they're OK. Right?

Earlier: 4 year-old Rory McDermott lost the nail on his big toe thanks to Crocs. Ow!

Ask the MB: Prince William's Big Hat

Ask the MB: Prince William's Big Hat
Q: Is it considered MB to wear an animal's entire wardrobe on your head?
—Ev345


A: Well, it's pretty magnificent to be heir to the throne of the fading empire that gave us the Magna Carta and golf, and wearing hats like the one Prince William was wearing this weekend is part of the job description.

As for anyone else? William's bearskin hat is certainly characterized by a senseless lack of utility, and scores high on archaism, organic materials, and Anglophilia as well. But its primary historical purpose — to make a soldier look bigger and more imposing in battle — violates the principle of understatement and essentially establishes the garment as elevator shoes for your head.

As you allude to, the standard hat of the British Foot Gaurds is made out of an entire bearskin. It weighs 1.5 lbs. and, most consequentially, stands 18.5 inches high. Getting in and out of limos and taxis would be a huge hassle while wearing one of these things, so until horseback reemerges as the predominant form of travel, we say "pass."

POURCAST

BETA

Whiskey Manhattan

  • 3 oz rye whiskey
  • 1 oz sweet vermouth, preferably Dolin
  • 3 dashes Fee Brothers Whiskey Barrel-Aged bitters

Stir over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a pearl onion.


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