Magnificent Bastard

Monday, December 5, 2016


From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!


Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather


Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07


300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300



military

RIP Fidel Castro: Revolutionary Leader of the Uniform Theory of Style

RIP Fidel Castro: Revolutionary Leader of the Uniform Theory of Style

When Fidel Castro died last week, there was no question about what he'd be buried in. Over the last half century, Castro was one of the leading proponents of the Uniform Theory of Style, i.e., the idea that a man should pick a signature outfit and stick with it forever. In theory, this sends a variety of positive signals to the world. It says you're extremely sure of your choices and your identity. It says you have no time to devote to the mundane routines of day-to-day living. It makes you easy to spot in a crowd, or buy presents for. All good, and generally speaking, we think the Uniform Theory of Style is an acceptable, albeit fairly boring way to go, especially if, like Castro, you plan to live to 90.


Superman. An early adopter of the Uniform Theory of Style.

So if you ever start thinking about going this route, just remember, a uniform is like a tattoo. Once you commit, it's very hard and maybe even psychically impossible to change it. The sunk costs of a dozen cashmere mock turtlenecks and New Balance joggers were nothing to a billionaire like Steve Jobs, and yet once he committed to his unfortunate Dentist Casual look, he proved, for whatever reasons, incapable of an upgrade. The man who envisioned the future remained, on the level of personal aesthetics, stuck in 1988.

So how did Castro, who embraced the Uniform Theory of Style so literally he actually wore a uniform, fare on a relative basis? Better than Jobs. Better than Mr. Clean (too matchy-matchy), Superman (who gets points for his cape but loses them for synthetic fibers and a visible logo), and the Supreme Leader of Toolbag Nation (who tries to obscure his obesity behind a two-man suit-tent of super 100s wool).

And yet, still, not so good. For 50 years, Castro looked like he was wearing a sack of laundry. In our estimation, only Fred Flintstone, the Black Panthers, and the Patron Saint of the domain, Hugh Hefner, have truly pulled off the uniform look. It is a feat that's harder than it looks.

Ask the MB: Pea Coat Epaulet Removal

D&G Cropped Wool Peacoat, With Epaulets via Saks Fifth Avenue, $1015.00
D&G Cropped Wool Peacoat, With Epaulets via Saks Fifth Avenue. $1015.00.
Q: I finally got around to ordering the Spiewak McKenzie Peacoat you recommended in 2008. Naturally it has shoulder straps, which you've since informed us are post-peak. However as virtually all peacoats I've ever seen have shoulder straps is it really worth while getting a tailor to remove them?
--Tadgh


A: We've finely-tuned a lot of clothing that's raised both our tailor's eyebrows, like shortening a t-shirt hem by 1", narrowing a tie by 1/2", and, yes, having epaulets removed. But if epaulets are ever OK in a mid-term election year such as this one, it's on a pea coat, military-themed outerwear that's a wardrobe basic. If you're not convinced, rather than spending money on epaulet removal, stick it in your closet until 2012 when they will be sewn back on everything.

Tip the MB: British Commando Sweater

Tip the MB: British Commando Sweater
How about it! It's Anglophilic, made of natural materials, exclusive, and not just derived from a military inspiration, it's actual military surplus. Why go designer when you can go right to the source?
--Broski


A: Yes, it's all those things, and it's also modeled on a (flat-out ugly) woman, which is appropriate since military is big for them this fall. Military buttons, sleeve tabs, skinny cargo pants, and camo denim are the rage for women, but the closest thing to military you'll see us in this fall is a peacoat.

By our account military is on the 4-year election cycle. Men are on the presidential, women on the midterms. Look for lots of camo and epaulets available for the 2012 Obama-Palin tilt.

Dictators Always Wear the Coolest Clothes

Dictators Always Wear the Coolest Clothes
Check it: Pakistani leader Pervez Musharraf declares states of emergency in style with this natty fabric-buttoned military jacket. Who needs elections and all that democracy bullshit when you're rocking it to this extent?

POURCAST

BETA

Magnificent Bastard

  • 2 oz Bulleit bourbon
  • 1 oz Berentzen Apfelkorn
  • 1/8 oz Laphroaig 10-year scotch
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass filled with ice. Stir languidly for 28 seconds. Strain into ice-filled rocks glass.


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