Magnificent Bastard

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!

Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather

Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07

300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300


5 Ways Not to Look Like Yankee Doodle Toolbag on the 4th of July

Note the subtle jet plane detail
Note the subtle jet plane detail
Nothing tests the Magnificent Bastard principle of understatement more than holidays. Halloween is the worst, followed closely by the 4th of July. Red, white, and blue are great colors for Ol' Glory and beer cans, but unless you're a superhero, too much red, white, and blue in your wardrobe at any one time can make you look like you're hitting the bricks to shill your local tax return service. If you're looking for a role model, choose Founding Father Thomas Jefferson over Uncle Sam — subtlety trumps bombast every time.

Of course, on a day when bombs — or at least their Las Vegas cousins, Class 1.1G fireworks — are bursting in air, subtlety's a relative concept and some red, white and blue in your wardrobe is completely appropriate. With that mind, here are 5 ways to show your patriotism without looking like Yankee Doodle Toolbag on the 4th of July.


Block Elco

Block Headwear makes our favorite hats. Salute the spirit of Betsy Ross by hiring a seamstress to create a new temporary hatband for you using 67 cents worth of grosgrain ribbon from M&J Trimming. Get the 7/8" size.


Boast Tipped Polo

Is President Bush spending the 4th at his trophy ranch in Crawford, sipping a near-beer and wearing a Boast tipped polo like he did in the goold old days? We have no idea, but we like to think so.


NATO strap

Give your MB-endorsed Zulu strap a week off and go with a red, white & blue NATO strap. Just $13.


Red, White & Blue Beer Koozie
$4.95 for pair

Until Pabst resurrects one of our favorite beer brands of all time, you can pretend it's the real thing with the Red, White & Blue beer koozie.


Moncler Track Jacket

It's become popular in recent years to bash the French, but while America was fighting for its independence, the French gave us the spirit of Enlightment that would later inform our Constitution, military support, and, we're guessing, some pretty good pastries. Show your gratitude with this Moncler track jacket.

FINAL WORD OF ADVICE: Choose only one of these items and leave it at that. Except for the beer koozie. That goes with everything.

Ask the MB: Big-Time Winter Coats

Spiewak N3B Snorkel Parka via, $164.95
Spiewak N3B Snorkel Parka via $164.95.
Q: Winter is upon us and I was wondering what is a MB winter coat? I'm talking for below zero, snowy conditions. I figure puffy, bubble coats and bright colored ski jackets are out. So what is a MB to do when it gets really cold and you have to go out?
--Jon G.

A: Puffy coats are definitely not out. Moncler made some of the earliest versions, and the Italians deemed them worthy for the initial ascent of K2 in 1954.

However, if you don't have an extra $900-$1000 lying around we really, really like the Spiewak N3B Snorkel Parka (also developed in the '50s) and it's just $164.95. Yeah, it is a little overkill for your garden-variety winter weather, but a good defense when Jack Frost is nipping at your nose like a pit bull trained by Michael Vick.



Old Fashioned

  • 1 raw sugar cube
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • 3 oz bourbon

On bottom of Old Fashioned glass (what else?) dribble bitters on sugar cube. Muddle. Fill with ice, then with bourbon. Garnish with lemon twist. No, not a thick orange wedge, handful of cherries, or a cup of fruit salad. A simple lemon wedge.


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Old Fashioned

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)


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