Magnificent Bastard

Friday, August 29, 2014

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belt buckle

Ask the MB: Clint Orms Belt Buckle

14K gold buckle w/ two 1/4 karat diamonds via Clint Orms, $11600.00
14K gold buckle w/ two 1/4 karat diamonds via Clint Orms. $11600.00.
Q: I recently picked up a silver Clint Orms "Trophy" buckle on vacation out west. In a room of Texan high-rollers you could call it understated, but I'm not sure how to pull it off in NYC without looking like a confused cowboy. Any suggestions?
--Charles


A: Charles, we applaud your decision to get a Clint Orms trophy buckle. For those unfamiliar with Orms, he's a Texas-based silversmith and engraver known for his meticulously crafted belt buckles that along with silver incorporate gold, rubies, diamonds, sapphires, and emeralds. A single buckle may be constructed from as many as 200 different pieces, take 200 hours to make, and cost upwards of $20,000.

Always remember, though, that while a belt buckle in it simplest form is functional, a belt buckle that costs more than $20 is essentially male jewelry, and male jewelry involving precious metals and stones is typically an express train to Toolbagville. So restraint is crucial. Orms clearly gets this -- even at their most ornate, his trophy buckles display a sense of lavish understatement (see example, pictured).

The key to wearing them in NYC is to keep that principle in mind. First, we'd recommend going with a matte black/brown leather belt rather than lizard, alligator, or anything else with a lot of shine or texture. Second, keep everything else simple too: Unadulterated denim, canvas sneakers or sandals, and a well-worn tee or polo can work with an Orms trophy buckle. Never wear it with a suit. Never wear it with a shirt that has pearl snap buttons or Western-style stitching. Never wear it with a cowboy hat, a lariat, or cowboy boots -- which should be pretty easy since you should never wear a cowboy hat, a lariat, or cowboy boots in NYC anyhow.

Guido the Killer Pimp a Style Trainwreck

Guido the Killer Pimp a Style Trainwreck
Where else on the World Wide Web are you going to get two posts about Guido the Killer Pimp in a 2-week span? Only at magnificentbastard.com. (See earlier one.)

Let's have a look at what's wrong with GtKP (Joe Pantoliano) at the red carpet premiere of Flawless starring Demi Moore and Michael Caine:

1. Beret. Violation of the principle of Anglophilia. Francophilia way less cool.
2. Multiple necklaces. Violation of principle of minimal accessorization.
3. Tucked-in sweater. Never do this.
4. Skull belt buckle. Skulls beyond outgoing.
5. Cane. OK if used for actual physical ailment; never OK for affect. Doesn't really work with skull belt buckle.
6. Multiple rings. (See multiple necklaces.)

Ask the MB

Ask the MB
Q: I was curious if it was appropriate to tuck just the front part of one's shirt in his pants, thus exposing his fashionable belt buckle. It is so clearly depicted on the front page of the site. In fact, it is almost luring me towards such mentioned behavior. So I ask: Appropriate, or Toolbag-ish? That is the question.
—The Buckler


A: The banner photo doesn't show it, but the white shirt is fully tucked in save for that wisp to your left. It took the Magnificent Subject and Magnificent Photographer's Handlers about 20 minutes to achieve the precice amount of artful dishevelment for that photograph.

Also pictured is Michael Bastian from the August GQ. He, too, with a fully considered amount of artful dishelvelment; and he's about the best designer going right now.

Hope that answers your question, asshole.

Go Native

Sioux belt buckle via Trading Post in Minoqcua, WI, $140.00
Sioux belt buckle via Trading Post in Minoqcua, WI. $140.00.

We killed most of them and stole their land, the least we can all do is buy their beautifully handcrafted trinkets. Unsnap those buttons, remove that "Try and Burn This One" buckle, and get in touch with the native in you, (even if there isn't one).

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BETA

Southside (MB-Bastardized)

  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz fresh lemon juice
  • 1 sugar cube (or half teaspoon simple sugar)
  • soda water (if desired)

Place the sugar cube at the bottom of a lowball glass, add the fresh lemon juice, and mash with the back of a spoon. Fill two-thirds with ice and the gin and stir for at least 30 seconds. Add soda water, if desired, and give a quick stir. Garnish with a lemon wedge.


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