Magnificent Bastard

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!

Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather

Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07

300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300

rick owens

Unsafe if They Paid You: Rick Owens Knit Hat

Unsafe if They Paid You: Rick Owens Knit Hat

For many years we've promoted the Naderian/Corvairain Unsafe at Any Price category, but Rick Owens has upped the ante and may get us to soon create a new Unsafe if They Paid You tag with his pointy knit 100% wool hat.

At its most benign interpretation, it's an executioner's hat. At worst this is headwear favored by David Duke when it's chilly in New Orleans.

Earlier: Rick Owens' seemingly inexhaustible ability to create ludicrous menswear.

Rick Owens Cargo Sandals: Unsafe at Any Price?

Black/White Cargo Sandal via Totokaelo, $457.50
Black/White Cargo Sandal via Totokaelo. $457.50.

Over the years, Rick Owens has won our grudging admiration for his seemingly inexhaustible ability to create ludicrous menswear. Case in point: These "cargo sandals," which to our eye look like an ugly sports wallet/blood-pressure cuff roosting on a orthopedic forearm splint, which in turn is built on a foamy, Croc-likes sole as imagined by the set designer of Saw III.

As aesthetically awful as they are, what puts them over the top for us is the paradoxical illogic of their ostensible utility. Our contention: Any man who would ever consider wearing cargo pockets on his ankles would in fact already be wearing cargo shorts with more pockets than anyone wearing shorts should ever need. So why would he require even more carrying capacity?

We have two theories here.

1) These sandals are designed for ambivalent nudists, who are drawn to their capacity to both carry a wallet and keys and also distract attention from the fact that the wearer is otherwise naked. With these sandals, we're fairly certain, you could walk buck-naked into a boardroom and everyone's primary response would be, "What the fuck are you wearing on your feet?"

2) Rick Owens is a crazy genius whose thought processes we should not even attempt to decipher.

Currently we are learning toward the second option and starting to think about Rick Owens in a new way. While we continue to maintain that you should never ever wear his most ridiculous offerings, it has crossed our minds that we should begin to collect some of these things as a kind of conceptual art, for display inside sterile vitrines that we would surreptitiously install into, say, Lars Ulrich's man cave.

The takeaway: If these sandals drop from their current sale price of $457.50 to $300 or below, we may put our plans into action.

Ask the MB: Rick Owens

Rick Owens canvas jacket via YOOX, $564.00
Rick Owens canvas jacket via YOOX. $564.00.
Q: What is your take on Rick Owens' designs?

A: His pants are too skinny, his tops are too blousy, and it's all about 50% overpriced. But his outerwear is outstanding and highly recommended (at the right price).




  • 2 parts Germain-Robin Craft Method brandy
  • 1 part Cointreau
  • 1 part fresh lemon juice

Lightly shake with ice, then pour into a ice-filled rocks glass. Based on your tastes, brandy choice, and strength of the lemon juice, you should adjust the Cointreau and lemon juice to find proper balance.

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