Magnificent Bastard

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!

Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather

Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07

300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300


Ask the MB: Pants that Fit an Athletic MB That Don't Crush the Crotch

Ask the MB: Pants that Fit an Athletic MB That Don't Crush the Crotch

Q: Long time reader with a style query:

For years, I have been unable to find casual pants that offer an appropriate degree of slimness and rise. For background, I lift weights moderately and exercise regularly so I never feel like my thighs have enough room in most standard slim-fit pants (H&M, Uniqlo, Levi's, etc.) On top of that, most slim-fit pants I've tried are low rise which seem - at least to me - to be too constricting in the crotch area, and leave me looking like a flat-assed teenager. The problem is that regular fit or straight fit pants invariably have a rather schlubby box fit below and above the thigh, which really becomes apparent after a few washes. What is the correct amount of slimness and rise in a pair of pants for an athletic MB, and where should I look for this elusive clothing.

A: George, have you considered skipping leg day?

We consider ourselves quite athletic and actually quite like to be a little bound through the thigh, and yes, even the crotch. We're not talking yoga-pant or needy girlfriend-level constriction here, just enough to feel vital, and remind us of why we bothered to ride 40 miles on a Saturday morning with a hangover so raging it felt like our head was the victim of an Andrew W.K. drum solo.

If that's not your thing, we don't judge. It's just that finding a stylish higher-rise pant with ample thigh room and a non-boxy fit through the thigh is like finding a Trump supporter who can actually afford to spend a night in a Trump hotel.

One suggestion, besides the simple, yet unacceptable solutions of parachute pants or Zubaz, is AG's "Graduate" fit. They're a little fuller through the thigh and still end up at just 7.75" at the ankle, a full ½" narrower than the Levi's 514 equivalent. Give them a try and let us know what you think

Levi's Introduces First Pair of Jeans Tailored Especially for Eunuchs

Ex-Girlfriend Jean via, $69.50
Ex-Girlfriend Jean via $69.50.
You know what John Wayne, James Dean, Elvis Presley, and Arthur Fonzerelli all had in common? If you answered that they all wore Levis 501s, you'd be right. But if you answered that they all would have never been caught dead in Levi's latest style for men, the Ex-Girlfriend, then you'd be really really right.

Which is not to say these things haven't found a market. Here's one satisfied customer's assessment: "I know these are marketed toward men, but I'm a 14 year old girl and these things fit perfectly. Super tight and cute. I'm not really sure how a male with proper anatomy could ever wear them though. 5 stars from me though, a 14 year old skinny girl."

Earlier: The Decider: Can you wear skinny pants?



Old Fashioned

  • 1 raw sugar cube
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • 3 oz bourbon

On bottom of Old Fashioned glass (what else?) dribble bitters on sugar cube. Muddle. Fill with ice, then with bourbon. Garnish with lemon twist. No, not a thick orange wedge, handful of cherries, or a cup of fruit salad. A simple lemon wedge.


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Old Fashioned

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