Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
|
Q: Ben Roethlisberger, post game news conference, WTF?
—Wade
A: Big Ben clearly has a hat that's Too Tiny, enhancing the size of his already large and increasingly flabby melon, one that has more chins than the number of TDs he threw against Denver on Sunday.
What struck us though, besides the fact that Roethlisberger bothered to wear something besides an untucked sport shirt, is that this is the same outfit he wore to the ESPY awards in July, 2009, 2½ years ago (below). It's true he's a Hall of Fame toolbag, but you'd think a guy who made $12 million this year would not recycle a dated three-piece suit and prepackaged shirt/tie/pocket square combo he probably picked up at TJ Maxx for $19.99.
As for the vest Tim Tebow was wearing after the game, we've had a few questions about the brand and model and we're researching it. Tebow has definitely stepped up his game since his jorts days at Florida.  posted:1.9.12 filed under:  Hi MB. I am into soft knit winter/fall hats, and really like this one from J. Varvatos. It's soft cashmere and looks pretty good without being douchy. Any ideas that don't cost flipping $168? It's a hat!
—Dan
A: We have a simple rule about winter hats. If it costs more than $100 it must be 100% cashmere. Maybe even 110%. Either that, or there should be one extremely cold beaver somewhere. That Varvatos hat, while a fine-looking chapeau, is $168 and it's only 25% cashmere. Not even close!
For similarly-styled, pure cashmere alternatives, check out the $75 Barney's Co-Op Basic Skully (top). When we strongly recommended it last year it was ten bucks less but it's still worth it. Same goes for the Portolano cashmere hats at Bluefly that are just $36.
Not that we're saying you should pinch your pennies when it comes to your head. After all, you'd surely spend $168, and probably even much more, on a pair of shoes you really like — and what are your feet but the day laborers of your body? Your head, meanwhile, is the CEO. So don't skimp! To that end, we like this cabled Bottega Veneta cashmere cap (bottom). Sure, it's $260, but like all CEOs, doesn't your head deserve a nice Christmas bonus? posted:10.20.11 filed under: Note the subtle jet plane detailNothing tests the Magnificent Bastard principle of understatement more than holidays. Halloween is the worst, followed closely by the 4th of July. Red, white, and blue are great colors for Ol' Glory and beer cans, but unless you're a superhero, too much red, white, and blue in your wardrobe at any one time can make you look like you're hitting the bricks to shill your local tax return service. If you're looking for a role model, choose Founding Father Thomas Jefferson over Uncle Sam — subtlety trumps bombast every time.
Of course, on a day when bombs — or at least their Las Vegas cousins, Class 1.1G fireworks — are bursting in air, subtlety's a relative concept and some red, white and blue in your wardrobe is completely appropriate. With that mind, here are 5 ways to show your patriotism without looking like Yankee Doodle Toolbag on the 4th of July.
 |
HAT
Block Elco
$50
Block Headwear makes our favorite hats. Salute the spirit of Betsy Ross by hiring a seamstress to create a new temporary hatband for you using 67 cents worth of grosgrain ribbon from M&J Trimming. Get the 7/8" size. |
 |
SHIRT
Boast Tipped Polo
$68
Is President Bush spending the 4th at his trophy ranch in Crawford, sipping a near-beer and wearing a Boast tipped polo like he did in the goold old days? We have no idea, but we like to think so. |
 |
WATCH STRAP
NATO strap
$13
Give your MB-endorsed Zulu strap a week off and go with a red, white & blue NATO strap. Just $13. |
 |
BEER KOOZIE
Red, White & Blue Beer Koozie
$4.95 for pair
Until Pabst resurrects one of our favorite beer brands of all time, you can pretend it's the real thing with the Red, White & Blue beer koozie. |
 |
JACKET
Moncler Track Jacket
$250
It's become popular in recent years to bash the French, but while America was fighting for its independence, the French gave us the spirit of Enlightment that would later inform our Constitution, military support, and, we're guessing, some pretty good pastries. Show your gratitude with this Moncler track jacket. |
FINAL WORD OF ADVICE: Choose only one of these items and leave it at that. Except for the beer koozie. That goes with everything. posted:6.30.11 filed under: Q: Is it considered MB to wear an animal's entire wardrobe on your head?
—Ev345
A: Well, it's pretty magnificent to be heir to the throne of the fading empire that gave us the Magna Carta and golf, and wearing hats like the one Prince William was wearing this weekend is part of the job description.
As for anyone else? William's bearskin hat is certainly characterized by a senseless lack of utility, and scores high on archaism, organic materials, and Anglophilia as well. But its primary historical purpose — to make a soldier look bigger and more imposing in battle — violates the principle of understatement and essentially establishes the garment as elevator shoes for your head.
As you allude to, the standard hat of the British Foot Gaurds is made out of an entire bearskin. It weighs 1.5 lbs. and, most consequentially, stands 18.5 inches high. Getting in and out of limos and taxis would be a huge hassle while wearing one of these things, so until horseback reemerges as the predominant form of travel, we say "pass."
posted:6.6.11 filed under: Q: I'll be attending an upcoming spring training game featuring my favorite team, the Detroit Tigers. Any suggestions for shirt/hat combos that would show my support for the team and keep me looking MB?
--Randy
A: Two years ago we wrote a post entitled "How to be a Stylish Baseball Fan" for moments like this, and it's still got great stuff. We're big fans of Red Jacket tees, and also like Detroit Athletic Co.'s Briggs Stadium tee, celebrating the heritage of what's probably our all-time favorite ballpark (RIP).
As for headwear, we're not big fans of baseball caps in any context and think you should generally leave them to those who are actually paid millions of dollars to wear them. In their place, we recommend a straw fedora, like the Stanwix or one of our long-time faves, the Knickerbocker, both from Block Headwear.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: It's true that Charlie Sheen is winning the war that K-Fed started earlier this decade to make the trilby, or short-brimmed fedora, the official crown of toolbags. You can steer clear of any associations by always going for natural straw with a natural band, or no band at all.) posted:3.3.11 filed under: via nflshop.com. $29.99.Dress it up with a suit, or dress it down with an oversized t-shirt and the Lombardi Trophy.
Fuck. Yeah. posted:2.7.11 filed under:Yesterday Bubba Watson won the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines. He has a driver with a hot pink shaft and buttons his polo shirts like he should be wearing a tie (note the N-2 rule), but give the man credit for recognizing the value of wearing a visor when one has a full head of long hair. This look (bottom) is at arfully disheveled as his golf swing.
Earlier: Ask the MB: Visors.
posted:1.31.11 filed under: Anyone ever hear of this movie?Q: So MB - I was at an NBA game on Friday night and there were several MB-looking types wearing patterned driving caps. I've always thought of this as my grandpa's hat, wondering what your thoughts are.
--Jennifer
A: We charted the style curve rise and fall of driving/newsboy/ivy caps back in early 2008 and declared the trend dead when Cuba Gooding Jr. showed up at the 10,000 B.C. premiere wearing one (plus flashing hand signs). Now that Gooding Jr. has gone missing, co-starring with Val Kilmer and Christian Slater in straight-to-DVD flicks, and iconic toolbag and the frequent ivy cap-wearing Tony Romo is on injured reserve, this headwear style can now emerge from rehab. In fact, as the NFL season hits the increasingly chilly home stretch, we would not be surprised to see Tom Brady sporting a newsboy for one of his ridiculously stylish post-game press conferences. posted:11.18.10 filed under:Q: So I need to upgrade my winter hat collection, and started off with your suggestions for cashmere knit caps. However, I'd also like something a little different from the standard knits, and was looking at stuff like this BR military hat. Any other suggestions?
--Dave
A: We suggest waiting on military until the next election. But even in 2012, that particular hat is reserved exclusively for baller revolutionaries. Plus, unless you hail from Cuba or anywhere south of about the panhandle, a winter hat needs ear coverage as an option, so it doesn't even qualify in our book.
If you still insist on military, something similar that doesn't violate The Castro Rule and has flaps is this Block Headwear knit called the "Morgan". Block is an MB fave that makes great hats, and their logos always come off so easily! Other options are the MB-endorsed Stormy Kromer (invented in Wisconsin), and if you have a little more scratch, this Borsalino Roma. posted:11.5.10 filed under:It's really unfortunate Barney's CO-OP has labeled this $65 cashmere hat a "basic skully" because "skully" gives off negative vibes associated with TTH urban hipsters and age-inappropriately styled NFL quarterbacks. This is simply an excellent "winter hat," in cashmere, that strongly lends itself to artful dishevelment and fits nothing like a skully.
Speaking of the NFL, in handicapping lingo this is our F/W 2010 accessory lead pipe lock. posted:11.3.10 filed under:Forget cashmere hats. Qiviut is the wool of the muskox. It is ridiculously expensive and ridiculously warm. The material is thin and lightweight, yet warm enough to let muskox survive brutal winters in Siberia and northern Alaska. It's also more rare than cashmere. As an added bonus, the value of qiviut-made clothes goes up as they age because the material absorbs oils and becomes softer.
--Andrew
We welcome the tip from the Siberian Qiviut Producers Association, and weren't even aware this beast existed, since it looks like something that went extinct 10,000 years ago.
If you demand that your qiviut accessories be made in the USA, David Morgan sells a qiviut hat that's hand-knit by the Eskimo women of the Oomingmak Musk Ox Producers' Co-operative in Alaska for $170. posted:9.27.10 filed under: Most recent Brad Pitt newsboy sighting: August 2009Q: I need a winter hat. The Chicago winter is fast approaching and I have been scouring both brick and mortar and the internet for a hat that works for me. It's difficult because flat caps seem to be way too ubiquitous. Also, every fedora type hat I have ever tried on makes me feel like a total toolbag. That leaves very few styles short of just your standard knit cap, which I sometimes wear. However, I long for something a little more unique. I have looked into the Stormy Kromer hat you mentioned last year, but I feel the baseball bill really isn't my thing. Any help you could give in steering me towards a new hat would be greatly appreciated.
--Steven
A: Besides being ubiquitous (in spite of Cuba Gooding Jr. signaling them as outgoing a while back), a flat cap vs. Chicago winter is the equivalent of scissors vs. rock. Same with a fedora.
In the winter months we advocate cashmere from head to toe, and if you can't currently swing a drawer full of $250 Maurizio Amadei cashmere boxers and $64 Paul Smith cashmere socks, start with the head and work your way down. This this 5+1_Annapurna ($98) and this Malo ($79) and this Bottega Veneta ($220) are all knit caps, but they're far from ordinary. posted:9.23.10 filed under:Q: I am looking for a hat to wear while on my boat. But hats are tricky and could easily fall into the TTH realm. Any suggestions?
--Matt
A: We like to think of boats as convertibles of the sea, and our rule for convertibles is to let Mother Nature serve as your stylist. As JFK convincingly demonstrates, nothing looks better than artfully dishevelled, wind-blown hair.
If you don't have enough hair for Mother Nature to style, we recommend the sort of low-profile, long-billed cap that Ernest Hemingway used to favor (top). Quaker Marine has been making them since 1948. Their Original Swordfish model will give you the protection from the sun you need while steering you clear of captain's hats, which have been relegated to the style brig for decades now due to their popularity amongst 1970s-era nautical toolbags and screw-ups. posted:6.15.10 filed under: Q: MB: I'm distinctly lacking in the "sweet hat" department of my wardrobe, and have always been a fan of fedoras. Unfortunately, I'm a poor-as-dirt college student, and the Eugenia Kim beaver fedora you recommended at one point, as much as I like it, totals to about a third of my monthly budget. Got any cheaper alternatives that get the MB stamp of approval for an aspiring MB on a (tight) budget?
--Tom
A: Unless you're attending the University of Antarctica, you are not going to want that Eugenia Kim hat this time of year anyway. Seasonally inappropriate. The calendar dictates embracing fedoras made of cooling, breathable straw, and the principle of artful dishevelment dictates choosing one that may actually look better if, say, Laetitia Casta accidentally sat on it for a moment. You want something with a little give.
From most to least expensive, here are four really good options.
From the top:
Ouellette Wheat Toyo Fedora, via ouellettehat.com. $230.
John Varvatos Straw Hat, via johnvarvatos.com. $125.
Fred Perry Short Brim Straw Tilby, via zappos.com. $67.
Block Knickerbocker Fedora, via villagehatshop.com. $50. posted:3.29.10 filed under:Q: Summer is coming around and out here in the desert (Phoenix, AZ), it gets pretty hot. Especially when standing in the sun. In hopes of staying as cool as possible, I'm looking at buying a Panama hat. They are a classic and seem suitable for desert wear during the summer.
--LT
A: This hat was invented in Ecuador which, as you might suspect, is at the equator. For every degree one travels either N or S latitude from 0° -- up to 30° max -- the less it works.
Sean Connery definitely rocks the Panama in that ubiquitous Louis Vuitton ad, primarily because a.) he's Sean Connery, and b.) it was shot in the Bahamas (24°). So stick to the 30° degree rule, unless you wake up one day and find that you have somehow turned into a pimp from the 1970s.
(Phoenix is at 33° 30'.) posted:3.22.10 filed under:Q: While I feel confident that I have successfully managed the unfavorable hand of genetic hair-loss with a close cut; and despite a having solid hat collection, every winter I pine for the many benefits of a full head of hair. With that in mind, what's the MB stance on seeking hair-replacement treatments?
--Joe
A: Joe, don't cut it too close (see an earlier post on the matter). It's easy for us to sit here with hair up the wazoo and tell you to work with what the good Lord gave ya, but that's exactly what we're going to do. Hair replacement/transplants run into the many thousands of dollars and they're a crap shoot. For that kind of bread you can upgrade your hat collection with this ultra-toasty shaved beaver model (now on sale for $290) and have wads of cash left over for penis enlargement pills. posted:1.19.10 filed under: via gemplers.com. $32.95.Elsewhere in America, the Stormy Kromer is experiencing renewed popularity as the workwear revival peaks on the trend curve. Here in Pulaski, it's a permanent fact of life. (Heck, it was invented just 36 miles south in Kaukauna, Wisconsin.) Thanks to a recent cold spell -- it's minus 8 here tonight -- we've been wearing ours so often we're even starting to miss old Ackley.
While many contemporary designers are offering their take on the Kromer this year, this is one classic that needs no twist. Like the Eames Aluminun Group Task Chair, it's a design so pure and simple and correct that there's just no way to top it. posted:12.16.09 filed under: via Bottega Veneta. $149.00.If you've ever worn anything from Bottega Veneta then you know. There are very few things on the market quite like BV, and that includes this tweed cashmere hat available in three colors. We guarantee you will be both warm and thrilled with any of them. posted:12.1.09 filed under:Not so MB: This ain't Wimbledon! White visor, white shirt, white belt, white glove, white pants, and white shoes (not pictured: white undies and white socks). Even Colonel Sanders (inset) knew enough to mix in a black string tie and pocket square.
Very MB: Newly-crowned PGA champion is 37 years old with a headful of dark hair and chooses the perfect headwear to highlight its existence. posted:8.17.09 filed under: via Village Hat Shop. $53.00.Q: I'm heading to Hawaii in a couple of weeks (for leisure) and I'm starting to think about what to bring. Keeping the luggage level to carry-on is a must, but I need to pack a hat. Where can I find something that could pack easily, but wouldn't look like I'm looking for the nearest trout stream?
--Joe
A: Joe, you're really visiting Hawaii in July? Can you reschedule for January? Either way, a hat is a good idea and a brand we really like is Block Headwear. They really get the "classic with a twist" aesthetic we dig. Several of their spring/summer straw hats are crushable, like the Degas fedora. (And their tag can easily be removed.)
(See previous posts on Hawaii travel.) posted:6.30.09 filed under: 'I'm so depressed! If I had two heads, I could wear a hoodie too.'I'm 5'10" 140 lbs. with a semi-athletic build. What is the best kind of jeans, shirt, hoodie and possibly hat to go for a hipster look?
--Patrick
A: Hat and hoodie? Do you have two heads? Because if so, 140 lbs. is really skinny.
Even if you've got just one head, we're not sure why you're wanting to go for this look. However, if you insist: spend $150 at Urban Outfitters, donate your razor blades to hairy orphans in Malawi, and you're there.
(Pictured: Cable Knit Marled Beanie, via Urban Outfitters.) posted:6.18.09 filed under:Colossal toolbag Tony Romo at the post-game press conference after the Cowboys win at Washington. MBs beware of the ivy cap! posted:11.17.08 filed under:Q: MB: Ball caps? Nope, never worn them. Flip it backwards? Are you kidding me? Visors? Yup. Wear 'em. Even feel like a bastard at times. How 'bout you? Visors? I'm talking on the golf course, and off.
--C.D.
A: The highly-destructive Tiger Woods Apparel Effect has contributed to making visors quite rare these days. MB strongly endorses them, but only when both of these rules are met:
1. You're on a golf course, and
2. You've got the locks to show off.
(Clockwise from upper left: Fred Couples, Trevor Immelman, Phil Mickelson, Tommy Armour III.) posted:4.7.08 filed under: P.F. Chang's Marketing VP Should be FiredThe Masters is the official start of golf season, though it's never too early to add to the list of World's Worst-Dressed Golfers. Congratulations to Briny Baird for vaulting into 2nd place, right behind clubhouse leader Jim Furyk.
Greg Norman is the only player in history to successfully pull off the straw hat, and we've already demonstrated the career-limiting effect of the popped collar. To no one's surprise, Briny Baird has never won an event in 253 PGA Tour starts.
(Also on the Worst Dressed list: Tiger Woods, Arron Oberholser, and Rory Sabbatini Coming soon: World's Best Dressed Golfers.) posted:3.31.08 filed under:As a general rule, whenever Cuba Gooding Jr. wears something, it officially ends that trend. He wore a newsboy cap last week at the premiere of 10,000 B.C. Here's the somewhat-recent history of the newsboy cap trend:
posted:3.10.08 filed under: Q: Hats. Can you please weigh in on hats? A winter necessity. I have various wool hats that I wear only when maintaining the driveway, but my now 40 year old skin breaks out (not so magnificently) when I sweat in them. I also have a black Russian lambswool with silk lining, but that's dressy.
—Bryan
A: First, please consider hiring a service to "maintain" your driveway. There is nothing quite as MB as sitting by the fire late on a snowy night, sipping your favorite cocktail, and listening to the sound of illegal immigrants shoveling your sidewalk and plowing your driveway.
Second, we hear you loud and clear on wool hats. Unless they're lined or felted, avoid them like you do your mother-in-law over the holidays. Either go with shaved beaver or our favorite winter material: cashmere. A few other hat rules to live by:
1. No logos.
2. No skulls, money bags, or woodland creatures.
3. No legibility.
4. No acrylic.
Clockwise from upper left: Nasty rash on the old-timer's forehead after shoveling his driveway in a wool hat; Barney's cashmere bi-color knit cap; Paul Smith cabled cashmere hat with flaps; Danielapi cabled cashmere with all-important pom pom.
posted:12.21.07 filed under:During yesterday's post-game interview, Brett Favre demonstrated the pitfalls of a 38 year-old wearing age-inapproriate clothing. Camo skull cap and printed tee. Yeesh. posted:12.10.07 filed under: via Urban Outfitters. $34.00.Last season Jack Spade amused us with his "Moose Love" hat (inset). Sensing the mammalian coitus theme still has some, uh, endurance, Urban Outfitters has knocked it off, adding earflaps and dubbing it the "Humping Moose" hat. Acrylic. Eeeeew! posted:11.30.07 filed under: via Barney's Co-Op. $315.00.Q: Is there ever good time to wear the collars of your shirt outside of the lapels of your jacket? Also, fedoras are coming back. What does the MB think of that? And ... can a hat ever be worn by an MB at the dinner table of a restaurant?
—Jason
A: First, save the shirt-outside-the-lapels look for next year's Halloween party, or maybe a dead talk show host look-alike contest. Second, fedoras are never good at the dinner table, but they are very good the rest of the time, especially this Eugenia Kim shaved beaver model, available at Barney's Co-Op.
Best to run ahead of the curve before Indiana Jones 4 is in theaters next year. posted:11.13.07 filed under:
|
|
