Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
For the first time in over 20 years, my husband went out and bought clothes, confidently and without me, and I actually liked everything he brought home. He looks smashing. Thanks, MB.
A: Heather, we're pleased you love your husband's new wardrobe and trust his mistress feels the same way.
BREAKING: Nancy Drew now officially interested in the men behind this site. (And of course we'll play along
if we're lobbed a question once in a while.)
Dear MB: You may or may not know, dearest Magnificent Bastard, that you have quite a following amongst the fairer sex -- although astute fellow that you are, I suspect you have some inkling. Our magnificent significant others love your website, as well they should, though I daresay we ladies tune in with even greater alacrity. Though we are no slouches regarding sartorial matters, we do not pretend to know everything there is to know about men's fashion and therefore thank you for your witty, edifying and ceaselessly entertaining tutorials. We know what we like on our men; you simply explain the elusive WHY of it all, like a sexy professor who keeps us on the edge of our seats, blushing and tittering behind our hands.
We were wondering, Magnificent Bastard, whether you could point us in the direction of a website like yours, for us ladies? Does such a thing exist and if not, would you consider adding a Splendid Lady section to yours? We do so appreciate a man's point of view ... In the alternative, would you play if we lobbed you a question of our own once in a while? (Heavy topspin, of course).
In closing, I simply wish to apprise you of the fact that my girlfriends and I are most intrigued by the man behind the message. Accordingly, we will be donning our figurative powder blue crew necks, knapsacks and knee socks for a little sleuthing to see if we can figure out who you are, Magnificent Bastard. Please be assured that should we ever have the pleasure of putting a face to the name, absolute decorum and discretion would be paramount. We are, after all, ladies above all else.
Keep fighting the good fight, Magnificent Bastard.
Message: I was looking for a new white bathrobe for my husband but after wandering around my local Macy's and seeing the same old crappy Ralph Lauren terry robes that are too short in the arms and fall apart after a year, I began to get a bit depressed. As if Macy's isn't depressing enough. Then, MB comes thru with Hammacher Schlemmer's Turkish bathrobe. Order placed, thank you v much. Also you should know that I bought the AG wide leg jeans you featured a few months ago. They are my favorite jeans now. I absolutely love your site. Now, can we please do something about those frickin' fleece-lined crocs I am starting to see???
Message: I don't know what's up with the influx of National Review readers, but I for one enjoy your caustic political satire.
From the mailbag:
From: Maj. Joel Leggett, USMC
Message: In the Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag you stated that Bad politics (conservative) was indicative of bad style. What is it about the ideology of weakness (liberalism) that makes it so stylish? Is it the promotion of total dependence on government at home or the slavish commitment to pacifism and appeasement abroad? My guess is that its combination of spinelessness and faux intellectual pretentiousness is the secret to its allure among the neuter-boy crowd.
MB Response: Sir, yes sir!
We'll let readers decide about the faux intellectual pretentiousness. They can look no further than your question. Now kindly remove that gold necklace and Oakley blades and head back to barracks.
Let's open up the mailbag:
Message: That what not to wear list was OK until the gratuitous slam at National Review. That blew your credibility to hell. A closed mind is an inferior one, losers.
MB Response: (Removes finger from nerve.) Does that feel better? Anyhow, you came to a 1-month old site called "magnificent bastard" and expected credibility? Try wikipedia. And take off that pair of crocs!
Let's open up the Magnificent Bastard mail bag.
From: Jim O'Sullivan
Message: Go fuck yourself, you smug bastards.
The chicks, see, they get it:
Message: Just a compliment: this site is fantastic!