Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
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 TOP: Symbionese Liberation Army leader Donald David DeFreeze
BOTTOM: Spiewak Vintage NYPD Jacket, Autumn/Winter 2010Typically it's the criminals from the 1970s who are remembered for their style (top). But what about the other side of the law? No, we’re not talking about that sloppy undercover hippie, Serpico. We mean the men in uniform. Sure, corruption, urban blight, and a host of other ills turned the Big Apple into a mugger’s paradise in those days. But when the thin blue line got so damn thin it looked like a Photoshop ruler guide, there was one thing keeping the world's greatest city from turning into utter chaos, and it wasn’t Charles Bronson’s Fu Manchu. It was the sleek, no-nonsense style of the NYPD's wool jackets.
Spiewak made them then, and now Spiewak’s bringing them back -- this time for civilians. So put away your buffalo plaid and get into some real workwear -- this 26 ounce wool melton jacket with corozo dome buttons, a badge tab, and four front pockets. (That’s two for your ammo and two for your bribes.) Sorry Paul Bunyan, but there’s nothing more authentically American than a 1970s cop shaking down a bookie on a freezing winter morning in the Bronx.  posted:7.29.10 filed under:  via ginchgonch.com. $39.00.Q: Considering Ginch Gonch. How much fun can underwear be?
--Eric
A: We don't remember wearing underwear this brightly colored (or legible) since 1st grade, when we didn't have much say in the matter. With names like "Thick n' Meaty," "London Ballin'," "Mighty Muscle," and "Tiger's Wood," we get the strong sense the GG marketing department may be overcompensating for something. However, we'd definitely consider the bacon sleep pants because everyone knows that everything -- including sleep pants -- is better with bacon.
SEE ALSO: The Magnificent Bastard Underwear Guide with exclusive testicle constriction rating. posted:7.26.10 filed under: via zappos.com. $74.20.Q: What the hell is slub?
--Pete
A: Slub is a thick, irregular place in yarn or fabric, and definitely adheres to the MB principles of artful dishevelment and none-too-neat. Unfortunately everyone has jumped on the slub bandwagon -- we've even seen it on MLB attire -- so it's headed post-peak and suspect savvy designers will completely abandon it for 2011. If you own it, wear it now while you still can. posted:7.26.10 filed under:As Jack Nicholson demonstrates, MBs can sometimes grow manboobs. While minimizing Jack-sized jugs probably requires breast-reduction surgery, if you've just started growing an unwanted pair there's a way to effectively shrink 'em by covering with pockets, like the two on this $45 Tailgate Clothing Company polo in grey jersey. posted:7.21.10 filed under: via johnvarvatos.com. $68.00.For a few years now skulls have been seen only from the toolbag ghetto of designer fashion: Ed Hardy, Monarchy, Affliction, or any other brand The Situation wears. But this fall John Varvatos (one of our faves, BTW) is showing a skull tee (albeit without flames) and skull jewelry.
In spite of the JV endorsement, pass for another season at least. posted:7.21.10 filed under: via bally.com. $243.00.Q: Do you have any recommendations for sandals that do not have a strap shoved between my big and second toe? I know it's a hang-up of mine, but the feeling of having the strap tug up between those two toes is too much like having underwear run up my butt crack. In other words, do you have a good "commando" sandal suggestion?
--Richard
A: We don't have the same hang-up as you, and we've never had underwear run up our butt crack, but if you're feeling that thong sandals are too much like a capital "T" Thong, then definitely leave those to the fairer sex.
A couple of years ago, during our first-annual Pedicure Awareness Month, we recommended these Paul Smith crisscross sandals from Barney's Co-Op. They're long gone now, and this has been a lousy season for great sandals, but the idea is the same: go for crisscross or strap sandals with an opening wide enough to not compact your toes, like this versatile sueded Bally version, now 50% off. (Limited sizes, so hurry.)
Ed. note: If you have toes not fit for public consumption (you know who you are) and insist on sandals, please be kind to others and go closed-toe fisherman. Thank you. posted:7.20.10 filed under: Tom, what happened?Q: Hello! I'm sending my mother and father to the San Francisco Opera for Wagner's Ring Cycle and it has been formally requested that all men wear tuxedos to opening night. This has sent us on a search for the perfect tuxedo. Now, we already know that you recommend a double-vented jacket for maximum bastardliness, but on the matter of the pants: pleated or plain? Thanks so much for your magnificence!
--Amanda-Louise
A: In Apocalypse Now Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore had his boys play Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries because "it scares the hell out of the slopes!," but it shouldn't scare your father from flat front trousers. Middle age is no excuse for pleats. Like smoking grass leads to heroin addiction, they're gateway attire to sweatpants, followed closely by full-on tracksuits. posted:7.19.10 filed under: via Context Clothing. $130.00.If you're in the market for an artfully disheveled, wear-it-with-denim belt, we highly recommend Kenton Sorenson's brass roll-buckle and distressed brass buckle options. Kenton has tapped into his Scandinavian roots and designed minimalistic belts cut from hearty 10 oz. leather, then hand sewn by his wife and daughter in his Cottage Grove, Wisconsin home studio, just 150 miles south of Pulaski. They're delivered by horseback and sold exclusively at another small business to make Wisconsin proud: Context Clothing on King St. in Madison, just a stone's throw from the capitol.
If you're like us and obsessed by perfect prong placement -- it should always be inserted into the third hole and never change -- there's no mass-production 28/30/32/34/36/38 guesswork or compromise; each belt is punched to order. posted:7.16.10 filed under:Q: Is rolling pants magnificent? It doesn't seem so, but there it is, apparently. nytimes.com/2010/07/15/fashion/15ROW.html
--Zac
A: We addressed this in early spring as the fad was emerging, in a Steve McQueen-Erkel side-by-side. As with most novelties to sweep the streets of Manhattan, we don't get it. Yeah, exposed ankles can be a very good thing, but pants rolling effectively shortens your legs, making you appear, uh, shorter. It's too bad 7' 7" Manute Bol recently died; he was a perfect pant-rolling candidate! Finally, the fact that the craze was popularized by the shrunken, man-shrinking designer Thom Browne really seals the deal. Our advice: Wait this one out (it won't be long). posted:7.14.10 filed under: via bluefly.com. $396.00.If you think we've lost our collective minds endorsing $396 sandals, well, maybe we have. But for the same price as 26 pair of post-peak mix grape Havaianas from Urban Outfitters, you get a pair of sandals you can dress up with a suit, dress down with denim, and wear to the beach. Plus, like men, they'll get better with age, while the long since discarded Havaianas (and equivalents) will be stacked up in a landfill. posted:7.13.10 filed under: Not quite there, J. Crew
Q: I have a couple of polo shirts that have gotten lines in the collars from lots of wear. I iron them, but it doesn't seem to remove the whole line. Is there any way remove/prevent this from happening?
--Tom
A: Tom, do you realize J. Crew has an entire division of fabric engineers dedicated to creating ersatz collar lines, and they still have not duplicated what you've achieved naturally via hundreds of wash cycles? Accept and embrace these lines, and most importantly, like tax returns, leave all ironing to professionals.
(Take an extra 20% off Final Sale with code Extra20) posted:7.13.10 filed under:We've got a winner in the "Shoot the MB Masthead" bike giveaway contest, and it's Sarah V.'s entry which best captured the MB ethos. And it looks cool, too. Also, according to Sarah, she is actually driving the rickshaw. For her efforts she can choose from the Broncks Raw, the Broncks Black, or the Breukelen from contest sponsor Bowery Lane Bicycles.
Thanks to all who entered and stay tuned for the next giveaway: a J.Fold weekend bag.
posted:7.12.10 filed under: Wish the box was big enough for a labWe're taking Friday, July 2 off as we head to our various cabins even further north of our Pulaski, WI headquarters, so we want to remind you that's the deadline to submit an MB header photo to win a sweet bike from Brooklyn-based Bowery Lane Bicycles. It's nearly a $700 value. All entries must be sent by midnight CT. Winning tip: Get your girlfriend, wife, or mistress striking a pose on a bike. Good luck! posted:7.1.10 filed under:Ideeli.com is a Gilt wannabe primarily geared towards women and women shopping for their kids, but on Friday, July 2 at 11AM ET they're having a men's (and women's) Mandarina Duck sale. This is really good stuff worth your money. If you'd like an invitation to ideeli.com, here you go:
www.ideeli.com/invite/magbas posted:7.1.10 filed under:Q: Today I was at the mall and saw that American Eagle Outfitters is having a $5 graphic tees sale. I love graphic tees, can sport a patriotic look, and the fact that I tend to spend more on a Five Guys hamburger isn't off-putting. What do you think?
--Mike
A: Our recommendation is to instead go with the bacon cheeseburger and a large cajun style fries. We're not bit fans of graphic tees, especially ones with flags, red white and blue, and other advertisements of how much you dig this country. Keep it understated, like a pair of stars-and-stripes boxers. Or celebrate like we do, by grilling out, drinking to excess, and donating generously to the ACLU. posted:6.30.10 filed under:We got a few angry emails from German soccer fans -- der Blödmann is the term they're using -- pointing out that coach Joachim Loew's royal blue pullover is in fact not synthetic but baby cashmere, and available here. Magnificent Bastard regrets the error, though due to his nose-picking (and booger eating!) incident, England's Fabio Capello still wins on style points. posted:6.29.10 filed under:Q: What is Bert van Marwijk and the rest of the Dutch coaching staff wearing? Even if the Dutch do not go on to win, it is apparent that van Marwijk is the best dressed amongst all the World Cup teams.
--James T.
A: It definitely doesn't hurt to have a tan and a head of white hair, but the Dutchmans' fitted suits with short-hemmed jackets, combined with open point collar shirts is a look that may take them to the championship. posted:6.29.10 filed under: Last week longtime reader Duncan suggested we predict World Cup quarterfinal appearances based on the teams' coaches' match-day attire. The Saturday matches played out as you'd expect. From top:
Uruguay's Oscar Tabarez wears boxy banker suits, but was an easy winner over South Korea's Huh Jung-Moo, who's officially the last person on earth who should be wearing a spread collar. In the other match Ghana's Milovan Rajevac could've worn almost anything to beat Bob Bradley; the poor bastard's only a fanny pack shy of pulling off of the archetypal clueless American tourist look.
The Sunday matchups were a different story. The normally natty Joachim Loew wore some kind of royal blue synthetic v-neck under a blazer and his German team still crushed Fabio Capello's Englishmen. Then Mexico's Javier Aguirre's understated elegance easily succumbed to the noisy, shiny, diamond earring-wearing Diego Maradona, who looks a contestant on the Argentine version of Tool Academy.
So far it's a flip of a coin. A 50-50 proposition. How should things play out?
Paraguay (Gerardo Martino) over Japan (Takeshi Okada)
Portugal (Carlos Queiroz) over Spain (Vicente Del Bosque)
Netherlands (Bert van Marwijk) over Slovakia (Vladimir Weiss)
Brazil (Dunga) over Chile (Marcello Bielsa) posted:6.28.10 filed under: The U.S. could be in big trouble on Saturday vs. GhanaQ: Longtime reader. How about a follow-up to the WC question about the Capello/Beckham suits. The first knock-out round is coming, and based upon choice of clothing, which teams should make it to the quarterfinals?
--Duncan
A: Duncan, this is a great idea we will strongly consider. posted:6.25.10 filed under:Q: I've been rambling through the web for months now hoping I could find a name and model of the black horn-rimmed glasses the late wonderful Mr. Cary Grant wore. They were so plain yet held their own level of style among the simplicity. What can you all tell me?
--T.R.
A: While we're still researching the make/model of Mr. Grant's North by Northwest sunglasses, we're confident about his off-screen glasses as pictured on this old GQ cover: They're Rodenstock Roccos.
To our eye, Roccos look not so much like glasses as the theatrical prop version of glasses -- glasses that even the folks in the last aisle of the balcony can see. This isn't to say we don't like them -- just that the degree of difficulty in pulling them off is high. Unless your face is a leading man type itself, they will steal the scene from it every time. And who wants to be upstaged by their glasses? posted:6.25.10 filed under:Q: I read Class which you suggested and it was a great book. It opened my eyes to what class is. Now everywhere I go I am sizing things up. Any more books your protégés should read?
--Vik
Q: Love your site! Do you have some reading suggestions? You already mentioned Fussell's Class, which I agree is just hilarious. As a backgrounder for that I'd suggest Veblen's Theory of the Leisure Class. Looking forward to any other recommendations.
--Jochen
A: These are two of about a half-dozen emails we've received regarding a recommended reading list. While there's only one Class, here are a few other MB-endorsed books you can get through by Labor Day:
BAD Or, the Dumbing of America, Paul Fussell
Red Lobster, White Trash & the Blue Lagoon, Joe Queenan
Why Evolution is True, Jerry A. Coyne
The Modern Drunkard, Frank Kelly Rich
posted:6.25.10 filed under:Q: What does MB think of David Beckham and Fabio Capello's Umbro suits for the 2010 World Cup? Is this a winning look?
--Brennan
A: Nicely proportioned lapel, two button front, four button (which we presume to be functioning) cuffs, double rear vents in the traditional British style, and a three-lion crest. If you can excuse the creases in the pants, there is a lot to like here -- but unfortunately FIFA doesn't award any points for the amount of fearsome wildlife on your breast pocket.
With England currently 0-0-2, with just one goal to its credit, and unlikely to make it out of the weak Group C, the suits are looking a little TTH, like Beckham and Capello spent more time preparing their wardrobe than their team. posted:6.23.10 filed under: Channing Tatum's got the Vans part rightQ: MB, what are your thoughts on airplane attire? Comfortable is a plus, but of course it must be bastardly enough to defy the disturing trend of pajama wearers who have inundated our nation's skies.
--Stephen
A: We agree, today's fliers look like they're ready to either a.) attend a slumber party, or b.) run the 100 meter hurdles. Millions of Americans in tracksuits is probably not the outcome Osama bin Laden had in mind, but in the War on Style, the terrorists have won.
Just a couple of simple rules here: 1.) Wear pants that don't require a belt (no drawstrings or elastic allowed), and 2.) Wear a pair of shoes you can easily slip on and off, like these John Varvatos canvas slip-on loafers or for something more casual, Sperry slip-ons, or Vans. posted:6.23.10 filed under:Q: Great posts about biking. However, and I feel stupid for asking, my GF loves to Rollerblade. Is this an activity I can enjoy with her without looking like a total toolbag?
--Jared
A: Jared, watch this instructional Rollerblade video for ten seconds -- no, make that two seconds -- and the answer should be clear. In addition, we encourage you to read our extremely effective dating and relationship guide: separate interests. Okay, now re-read it, memorize it, and put it into action. When she goes Rollerblading, go play golf. When she's at yoga, take a nap. When she's gardening, pop a beer and watch The Big Game*. To paraphrase the Roman poet Sextus Propertius, the less time you spend together, the longer you'll stay together.
* any game where the National Anthem is played
posted:6.22.10 filed under:Q: I think every Puma sport fashion shoe you guys post sells out pretty quickly. I'm looking for an all around black shoe to wear to work or out with friends. How does this one work for an MB in training?
--Justin
A: If this came in a matte black version, or a matte anything version, we'd enthusiastically recommend it. But unless you're at a wedding, patent leather has no place in your wardrobe. It violates the key MB matte vs. gloss principle, and would be too much for using it the way you've described (unless you work as a wedding planner, or crash a lot of weddings with your friends). posted:6.22.10 filed under: Rule: If your nose is as long and sharp as a point collar, wear a spread collar.Q: Been looking at Biased Cut ever since you posted the Custom Shirt Reviews. What do you recommend as far as collars? I like the look of the spread collar as it seems more modern. Did you order any spread collared shirts?
--Mark
A: No, we didn't order any spread collar shirts for a couple of reasons:
1. They demand a Windsor knot, and while it's definitely a break from our severe case of Anglophilia, we much prefer the four-in-hand.
2. 95 out of 100 guys look better with a point-style collar. It's similar to striped shirts, with point collars equalling vertical stripes and spread collars equalling horizontal stripes. If you're the rare man who needs his face fattened, a spread collar can work. If you're not, point collars are a much better bet. posted:6.18.10 filed under:We have a winner in the Bull Run Roasting Coffee Contest. His name is Kevin Forza and he treated us to a bit of poetry:
THE BALLAD OF A LONELY TOOLBAG
She was drinking Magnificent Bastards.
I was getting amazingly plastered.
Rocking Tommy Bahama,
I'm like, "Yo, babymama!"
(There are rules I still haven't mastered.)
Congratulations to Kevin. For writing poetry that maybe took 10 minutes he's won a year's supply of Magnificent Bastard "Morning After" Roast, two cool coffee mugs, and a Hario grinder. Enjoy, Kevin. We like your sense of humor and we sure hope you're kidding about rocking Tommy Bahama.
posted:6.18.10 filed under: Q: Long time reader. How do you like the glasses Tom Cruise is sporting in his latest flick?
--Hector
A: Tom Cruise is oh-for-three at the Oscars, but your question got us thinking. If the Academy ever gives an award for Lifetime Achievement: Eyewear, he'll be a strong contender. It doesn't matter if he's playing a boyishly charismatic high school pimp with a dynamite smile, or a boyishly charismatic Nazi with a dynamite smile, he always demonstrates a fearless, daring, almost reckless willingness to commit to whatever eyewear the role requires.
Those Persol 2931's Cruise is wearing in Knight and Day that you're asking about are definitely a high mark -- we are certified fans of this approach to sunglasses -- but for us he reached his zenith with the eyepatch he sported in Valkyrie. An eyepatch is a gimmick, sure, but as everyone from Sammy Davis Jr. to Snake Plissken to David Ogilvy can attest, it's a remarkably effective way to inject your persona with a sense of mystery, gravitas, and sex appeal. Especially if you only have one good eye.
 posted:6.16.10 filed under:Q: I am looking for a hat to wear while on my boat. But hats are tricky and could easily fall into the TTH realm. Any suggestions?
--Matt
A: We like to think of boats as convertibles of the sea, and our rule for convertibles is to let Mother Nature serve as your stylist. As JFK convincingly demonstrates, nothing looks better than artfully dishevelled, wind-blown hair.
If you don't have enough hair for Mother Nature to style, we recommend the sort of low-profile, long-billed cap that Ernest Hemingway used to favor (top). Quaker Marine has been making them since 1948. Their Original Swordfish model will give you the protection from the sun you need while steering you clear of captain's hats, which have been relegated to the style brig for decades now due to their popularity amongst 1970s-era nautical toolbags and screw-ups. posted:6.15.10 filed under:
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