Ask the MB: Tommy Bahama Shorts

Q: Based on this link I'm pretty sure this proves that plaid shorts are post-peak. I've loved my plaid shorts from Penguin and the like for 3 or 4 years now but I think the style is over. What are alternatives for shorts in summer if Tommy Bahama has taken to plaid short production?
--Bradley

A: One word, Bradley: jorts (top).

Just like Eddie Van Halen's toolbaggish, sleep-inducing, fret-jerking in "Beat It" couldn't kill the guitar solo, Tommy Bahama can't kill plaid. Next season they'll be back to florals (bottom). Wear the Penguins and the like without fear.

posted:

7.3.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• penguin
• shorts
• tommy bahama

Ask the MB: Map Bag

Q: I'm a college kid that has recently started working. I need a bag that I can take to work that's small -- to carry stuff like my mp3 player, headphones, a sandwich, and my water bottle. For the past few months, I've been using the Briggs & Riley Map Bag (in black), here. Is this MB? I don't want a full size messenger or a briefcase because I'm not really carrying that much stuff. Suggestions?

A: A map bag? Are you planning an invasion?

This looks a little man-pursey to us, though you've chosen wisely from the Briggs & Riley collection. The rest of it has a fatal case of Tumi-itus. But why the bag in the first place? What MP3 player is so big it needs a bag? You can slip a small, cell phone-like device into the front pocket of your pants or the interior pocket of your blazer (the preferred MB method) and you're good to go. Carrying a sandwich around with you all day is a health hazard, a style faux pas, and technologically obsolete -- just make sure your device of choice has an app to find the nearest restaurant. And also an app to find the nearest drinking fountain.

posted:

7.2.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• bags

Trick or Treat?

If you have money to burn and you want to go as a kaleidescope to your next Halloween party, Alexander McQueen has got you covered. Was $4,200. Now dramatically marked down.

posted:

7.2.09

filed under:

• alexander mcqueen
• outerwear

Ask the MB: Brad Pitt Glasses

Q: I really like the glasses Brad Pitt wears in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and was wondering if you knew where to get a pair of similar looking specs.
--Michael

A: Pitt's character is wearing an old P3 wire frame (a.k.a. Marshwood). It was at peak popularity in the 1930s and 40s. All the big american frame companies had a version during that time (American Optical, Artcraft, Bausch & Lomb, Shuron), so you will easily be able to find them on eBay or your local antique store. Besides Benjamin Button, Lennon and Truman are among past prominent wearers of this style.

posted:

6.30.09

filed under:

• celebrities
• eyewear
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Hawaiian Hat

Q: I'm heading to Hawaii in a couple of weeks (for leisure) and I'm starting to think about what to bring. Keeping the luggage level to carry-on is a must, but I need to pack a hat. Where can I find something that could pack easily, but wouldn't look like I'm looking for the nearest trout stream?
--Joe

A: Joe, you're really visiting Hawaii in July? Can you reschedule for January? Either way, a hat is a good idea and a brand we really like is Block Headwear. They really get the "classic with a twist" aesthetic we dig. Several of their spring/summer straw hats are crushable, like the Degas fedora. (And their tag can easily be removed.)

(See previous posts on Hawaii travel.)

posted:

6.30.09

filed under:

• hawaii
• hats
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Lunch Pail

Q: Is there a MB way to carry one's lunch to work (retro tin lunchbox, insulated bag, brown bag, grocery bag, etc.)? Please enlighten me.
--Bryan

A: If you are getting to work before lunch, you are working too hard. If in fact you are working that hard, at least treat yourself to a nice leisurely meal at a restaurant, with a waitress. If you can't afford a restaurant, then we suggest you bring your lunch to work in a bottle of Dewar's.

posted:

6.29.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• cocktails

Ask the MB: Dress - Casual Crossover Shoes

Q: So I've been searching for a pair of black shoes for around 2 months now. My initial thought was something between casual and dressy. I would like to have the flexibility to wear them with jeans or a pair of nice pants. Any MB help/recommendations would be great.
--Chris

A: Chris, you obviously haven't been reading this site for 2 months because you'd know the answer to your footwear dilemma lies in Puma Sport Fashion. End of story. A few of us were in Dassler versions (sockless, of course) at a wedding reception at the Pulaski (WI) American Legion on Saturday night and the feedback was universally positive.

posted:

6.29.09

filed under:

• puma
• shoes
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Pre Surf, Surf, Post Surf

Q: Here's the plan: my friends and I have rented out a house in Nosara, Costa Rica for a month. We will all be surfing. What style is appropriate for:
a) Pre surfing?
b) when surfing? (we are beginners)
c) post surfing?

We are all in our early to mid twenties (23-24 years old). Thanks a lot for any suggestions MB!
--Eric

A: Eric, we think you're planning at least one too many costume changes -- you're going surfing, not performing in a Cher concert (she'll be at Ceasars in September). 5-7" inseam boardshorts are what's needed here for all three scenarios (see our swimsuit length graphic). Except for the apres surf we'd recommend pairing with a terrycloth cabana jacket or robe, just like what Paul Newman would do (pictured).

posted:

6.26.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• celebrities
• swimwear
• surfing

Ask the MB: Wimbledon Toolbaggery

Q: No question, I just want to nominate Janko Tipsarevic for a Toolbag award. How one can manage to pollute tennis whites is beyond me, but this guy figured out how by adding the perfect toolbag sunglasses. I'm guessing they're Oakleys, but if not, they may as well be.
--Jackie Treehorn

A: It is indeed difficult to turn the Wimbledon Whites into toolbag, though Rafa Nadal did it last year in the finals. Even the typically MB Roger Federer raised several of our eyebrows with his warmup vest in this year's first round. In between sets, does he moonlight as a waiter? We'll take a round of gin and tonics. Hendrick's.

Anyhow, like Nadal, Janko just has TB in him. Look at him at the French, with tank top and matching blades (bottom). And that tattoo, which we're pretty sure says "No fat chicks!" in kanji. Wimbledon's rules can only tamp the TB down. The good news: he's out after the 2nd round.

posted:

6.26.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• celebrities
• tennis
• oakley
• sunglasses

Ask the MB: Russian Navy Shirt

Q: I've recently updated my wardrobe for the summer but I'm missing a crucial piece: the Russian navy shirt (as seen on the J. Peterman website). $44 seems too much for just a shirt, so I was wondering if there were better deals on these shirts. Can you help me maintain the Magnificent Bastard look while maintaining the cheap bastard mindset?
--Daniel

A: We agree $44 is too expensive for that shirt. In fact, we think $4 is too expensive. Unless you are a professional gondolier and can write it off.

If you need the nautical look, we recommend separating your blues and whites like JFK (pictured). If you're still wanting stripes, J.Crew has a couple of much more subtle, less costumey options, and they're cheaper too.

posted:

6.24.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• shirts
• nautical

Ask the MB: Pocket Watches

Q: What's you take on pocket watches? Are they MB approved or should I be looking for a new timepiece?
--James

A: If you have a time machine and can go back to the 1800s, OK. Otherwise, they're too evocative of wallet chains. Or even worse, you might be mistaken for a Civil War reenactor.

posted:

6.24.09

filed under:

• watches
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Is Obama Wearing Crocs?

Q: There is some toolbaggery going on here. Are those Crocs?
--Kevin

A: To our eye, it looks like an animal died to make the President's sandals. (Thanks to Reuters photographer Mike Theiler for sensing where the real story was.) So, no, they're not Crocs, which are made entirely from anti-fungal fossil fuels. They do have a very Crocs-like sole, however, and we imagined they looked great on the golf course he was headed toward, if that golf course had a styrofoam castle on the 18th hole.

See also: From Cool to Tool: Tracking Barack Obama's Descent Into Toolbaggery

posted:

6.23.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• crocs
• obama
• sandals

Ask the MB: Casual Watch and Strap

Q: I'm trying to find a casual everyday type watch to buy that I can just snap on with any outfit. I don't really know if I should go with a leather, steel, or nylon strap. I was looking for something affordable a college student in his 20s can wear. People told me to try out Nixon watches but sometimes I feel their watches are a little toolbaggy at times. Help!
--Brian

A:

The Watch: Nixon often tries too hard, so choose wisely. We're fans of vintage, so do some poking around ebay or your local antique shops; you might find something cool. For new, our favorite watch shop is Howard Marx's Westcoastime*. He just got in 50 custom pieces of the Ollech & Wajs "Kartago." This is a fantastic Swiss-made watch that definitely meets your "snap on with any outfit" criterion. It's likely a little much for a college student's budget ($429.00), but unlike anything from Nixon, you'll enjoy it through graduation, marriage, kids, and likely beyond.

The Strap: We've previously argued in favor of nylon, and definitely recommend it as the best choice alongside the casual wardrobe of the typical college student. Now that it's summer, mix in a stripe of color.

* We have no relationship with Westcoastime beyond being regular customers.

posted:

6.23.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• o&w
• watches

The Oakley Handicap

Can this man -- dressed from head to toe in toolbag outfitter Oakley -- win the U.S. Open?

Unlikely.

posted:

6.22.09

filed under:

• golf
• oakley

Ask the MB: Golf Bag and Towel

Q: I'm always looking to swap out my golf gear for better, more MB-ish accessories (simplify, simplify, simplify). I am currently looking for the best golf bag and towel. What is the stylish gear the leggy-model in your banner is carrying?
--Your Supplicant, Kevin

A:

The Bag: The Original Mackenzie Walker. We guarantee this is the best golf bag you will ever own. It will also be the last golf bag you ever own. The only problem is that it's $735.00. But worth every penny, and probably a value if you consider you'll go through 4-5 ordinary bags in your lifetime.

The Towel: Available at every Ritz Carlton worldwide. Right next to the hand towels and washcloths. Anywhere from $179.00 to $3,700/night depending on room size and view. (Pictured: Ritz Carlton South Beach)

posted:

6.22.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• golf

Ask the MB: Medical Identification

Q: Hey guys, love the site and what you're doing. I was wondering what your take on medical identification (i.e. bracelets, dog tags, and the like) was. I've been a type 1 diabetic for over nine years and have always refused to wear medical ID's because they tend to make people feel sorry for you ... and because most of the ones that I've seen, look ridiculous. However, recent events have brought to light the necessity of wearing a medical ID and I can thus no longer ignore the issue. What type of medical ID would say "hell yea I have diabetes, what about it?", while still maintaining the fashion style of an MB?
--Iain

A: Here are the options as we see them:

Option A: Wear a necklace. They are barely visible 95% of the time and will indicate your medical need when necessary. If you're like us and can't stand things hanging from your neck, then...

Option B: This stainless bracelet (top) is $14.00 and is better-looking than any medical ID accessory we've seen.

Option C: If you are feeling flush, with the help of Tiffany you could make a one-of-a kind piece to last a lifetime. Buy a Tiffany 1837 I.D. bracelet (bottom) and work with their customer service -- and they are all about customer service -- to get the custom engraving your body needs.

posted:

6.19.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• accessories
• jewelry

Contact the MB: Yoox Sale

I know you guys are fans of Yoox. I just thought you'd like to know they are having a great sale rignt now, and I was able to find a coupon (green@yoox) for an extra 5% off. Got these Prada loafers for $185! Thanks for making me aware of the site.
--Matthew

You're welcome. That sale is pretty damn good (though everything is final sale). All hail the recession!

posted:

6.19.09

filed under:

• yoox
• prada
• contact
• sale

Ask the MB: 'Hipster' Look

I'm 5'10" 140 lbs. with a semi-athletic build. What is the best kind of jeans, shirt, hoodie and possibly hat to go for a hipster look?
--Patrick

A: Hat and hoodie? Do you have two heads? Because if so, 140 lbs. is really skinny.

Even if you've got just one head, we're not sure why you're wanting to go for this look. However, if you insist: spend $150 at Urban Outfitters, donate your razor blades to hairy orphans in Malawi, and you're there.

(Pictured: Cable Knit Marled Beanie, via Urban Outfitters.)

posted:

6.18.09

filed under:

• urban outfitters
• hats
• hoodies
• ask the MB

Ed Hardy T-Shirt

What would it look like if a gay pirate's acid trip puked on your t-shirt? A lot like this.

posted:

6.18.09

filed under:

• ed hardy
• skulls
• t-shirts

Ask the MB: Phil Mickelson's Golf Shirts

Q: I recently noticed Phil Mickelson wearing golf shirts with shorter than standard short sleeves. As a guy with short muscular arms I would love to get shirts with these extra short sleeves. Where does he get them or are they made special for him?
--Ron

A: Phil Mickelson has a large endorsement deal with Callaway, so it's a very safe bet they make his shirts. And, being the #2 player in the world, he can get Callaway to make anything he wants. (Though someone at Callaway should have the courage to tell Phil to add a little material around the torso. It's looking increasingly sausage-like, with a side of manboobs.)

Anyhow, we strongly endorse shorter sleeves on polos, especially if you have pipes worthy of display. The sleeve length on many of today's golf shirts, one can't tell if they're short long-sleeves or long short-sleeves (see John Daly at last week's St. Jude Classic). But don't make this a big concern. You can have your golf shirt sleeves shortened to taste by a tailor for $10-$15. And if you're cursed with Mickelson's waistline, try to find a tailor who moonlights as a plastic surgeon.

posted:

6.17.09

filed under:

• shirts
• golf
• celebrities
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Ironic Tattoos

Q: Is there any way a tattoo can be MB-approved if it is done for the sake of irony? A friend of mine, who for the most part has the MB style going on, just got a tattoo of a pirate ship on his chest.
--Leroy

A: Leroy, does your friend know that tattoos are permanent? Irony is best left to things that can be changed or shaved, like t-shirts or facial hair, although an ironic "Mom" tattoo on either bicep would be acceptable.

posted:

6.15.09

filed under:

• tattoos
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Track Jackets

Q: Are track jackets still Mag-Bastardly? Or, have they been relegated to soccer hoodlums and clearance sales on Rockstar? By the way, I'm referring to the classics- Fred Perry, Adidas, etc. that are worn during appropriate, casual times (i.e. not your "going out" jacket).
--ARP

A: Track jackets hit peak popularity a few years ago, with every designer and their uncle doing a version. We've definitely noticed a drop-off in our own track jacket wearing over the past 4-5 years, but the classics like Adidas Originals or Fila verge on timeless.

posted:

6.15.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• adidas
• fila

Ask the MB: Panerai Watch Size

Q: I stumbled upon your site about a month ago and have checked it every day since. I see that you are high on Panerai watches, but also say that you think the maximum size watch an MB should wear is 40 mm. I have a Panerai which it 44 mm and I think that is the smallest watch they make. So I'm confused do you like Panerai watches or are they too big? I think it is perfect. Thanks.
--Joe

A: We like Panerai and no, they're not too big. The Luminor GMT PAM 00244 is 40MM as are several other new models. Older 40MM models like the gorgeous PAM00159 (pictured) and PAM00160 are also available on eBay and and other web shops.

If you think it's perfect, chances are you've got thick, Popeye-like forearms. In that case, 44MM is in proportion. For normal landlubbers a 44MM watch can look like you've glued a minute hand on a dinner plate.

posted:

6.12.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• watches
• panerai

Ask the MB: Sweater Stretching

Q: I'm a freshman in college, about to enter my sophomore year, and I've just started reading MB, but I do consider myself rather stylish on an unemployed college student's budget. What's an MBs stance on collared shirt under a sweater with both of the sleeves rolled up over jeans? And do you have any other general tips to get that artfully disheveled look to truly shine? Thanks.
--Mike

A: Mike, you're young and a still a little wet behind the ears, so we'll go easy. This look can be categorized as TTH (Trying Too Hard). Artful dishevelment is indeed calculated, but ends up looking like you didn't try at all. This looks like you tried; not to mention it's also going to stretch the shit out of your sweater sleeves. It's only OK if you're involved in an emergency birth.

posted:

6.12.09

filed under:

• shirts
• sweaters
• artful dishevelment
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Italy Trip

Q: Sorry for the short notice, but I need help. I'm traveling to Italy this Friday and my girlfriend, who has already been there for a few weeks, emailed me to warn that I should "bring your MB best." I prefer to travel very light, but am going to be there for two weeks. What are some bastardly standards I should consider when packing? Specifically, essentials I should have that will travel well, how many of what items, and what/how many shoes? Thanks, and keep up the exceptional work.
--Harith

A: Certainly the objective is to get everything to fit into a 21" roller and a shoulder bag, and if that means going commando for a while, it beats checking luggage. With that in mind, here are the ingredients you need:

posted:

6.11.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• travel

Toolbag Network Living Up to Its Name

We've previously commented on Bravo being the Toolbag Network. They're clearly listening, and even turning it up a notch with the men on the new Real Housewives of New Jersey with "Steve" (top) in Ed Hardy t-shirt and hat, and "Joe" in 5'5", spiked hair, and screeching eagle-skull t-shirt (bottom).

We're sort of wondering if these guys are real. They are such toolbag archetypes we're not sure.

posted:

6.10.09

filed under:

• bravo
• skulls
• toolbag
• ed hardy

Ask the MB: White Event

Q: I have to go to an all white event (Bar Mitzvah). I have a white linen shirt and white linen pants. Can I wear both or do I need another top. And if the answer is yes, do I need a blazer or sweater?
--Kevin

A: Kevin, it would seem you haven't seen our bit on linen. It's trouble, and can turn a fella into a total mess within seconds. We've seen it happen. But when life gives you lemons, we say make lemonade (or at least some really outstanding lemon twists). Second, nobody wears white-on-white, except hospital orderlies and Mr. Clean (inset). So the objective is to break up the white with a shade of white, either in a different shirt, a sweater, or blazer. Take a look at this picture from the DKNY collection at Bloomingdale's, then ask the host if you can go as a bed.

posted:

6.9.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• linen
• white

Ask the MB: Couple of Questions About Sunglasses

Q: I have recently decided to do a full overhaul of my old and worn-out wardrobe and go all-out to become a certified MB (I have already started by purchasing a J.Fold V12 black/brown wallet). The journey is long, but with your help I think it's possible. Today my I find myself torn over sunglasses, and I have a few questions for you.

The first question is on lens color. Back in 2001 or so I had a pair of Oakley with a reflective, metallic-blue lens coating. Looking back on it, I wonder if (brand aside) they were a rather toolbaggy thing to buy (my only excuse being that I was 16 at the time). Although I am not considering going that path again, I wonder -- is it ever acceptable for an MB to wear any color other than black/tan lenses or do the other colors (ie. red, blue, green) not conform to the principle of understatement?

The second question is hopefully simple. I know you have already quite reluctantly defined a few lightweight sunglasses (i.e. Serengeti Vedi, Rudy Project Murphy, Maui Jim Kailua and, yes, even Oakley Nanowires) as acceptable for use while performing activities such as jogging. Is it acceptable to don those types of eyewear for everyday use or are they strictly application specific like most activewear? With my facial structure I find "fashion" sunglasses tend to look odd and I would rather continue without than pay for prescription sunglasses just so I can look like a TB whenever the sun is shining.
--Adam

A: First of all, we'll cut you a little slack for the metallic-blue reflector Oakleys. You were only 16, preoccupied with acne, masturbation, and trying to find a prom date. Sunglass lens color was not a top priority at the time.

You've sort of answered Part I: The classic sunglass lens colors -- grey (some people call this black), brown, bottle green and grey/green (aka G15) -- are a good way to go for everyday use. They're cosmetically acceptable and functionally have endured the test of time. Here's an excerpt from eyetopics.com on the various functions of lens colors:

Gray
Gray sunglass lenses reduce light intensity without altering the color of objects. Thus, they provide the most natural color vision. Gray is the most popular sunglass lens color in the United States.

Brown
Brown lenses enhance contrast by blocking a larger percentage of blue light than gray lenses do. Brown lenses provide a warmer appearance to colors and make greens more vibrant.

Green
Green sunglass lenses provide a cool, soothing tone to colors. Though not as popular as gray or brown lenses, green lenses are often used to create the classic look of aviator-style sunglasses (Ed. note: "Green" today is actually grey/green or G15. You may want to consider bottle green popular during the 1950s/60s).

Amber
Amber sunglass lenses block all or nearly all blue light for superior contrast. Amber-colored lenses are frequently referred to as "blue blocker" lenses or "shooter's sunglasses." (Amber-colored lenses are popular among hunters because they provide enhanced contrast when looking at birds and clay targets against the sky.) Though these lenses enhance contrast, they also distort colors and may not be suitable for driving and other activities that require accurate color recognition.

Pink, Orange, Rose and Blue
These and other vibrant colors are available for fashion sunglasses. These lens colors can cause severe color distortion and are unsuitable for driving and other tasks when color recognition is important.

posted:

6.8.09

filed under:

• oakley
• sunglasses
• ask the MB

Ask the MB: Sunglasses in The Hangover

Q: Hey MB. What sunglasses is the baby wearing in The Hangover?
--Rich

A: It appears both the baby and the co-star Zack Galifianakis are wearing the BluBlocker Demi Tortoise Nylon frame, which, at just $14.95 seems like one hell of a value in spite of logos on the temples. Lose 'em, sit on 'em, ain't no big deal. Recommended.

posted:

6.5.09

filed under:

• ask the MB
• sunglasses

Ask the MB: Belt With Jeans

Q: Help me settle an argument: If you tuck in your shirt while wearing jeans should you wear a belt? My position is that you should always wear a belt when you tuck something in.
--Eric

A: We hope you don't have too large of a wager, because it's certainly OK to forego the belt with jeans when you tuck. 9 out of 10 times we'll wear a belt for either accessorization or pant-holding-up purposes (actual function). However with the right denim or right shirt, feel free to leave the belt in your closet.

posted:

6.4.09

filed under:

• shirts
• jeans
• ask the MB