Not sure if you should wear that Tommy Bahama shirt out tonight? The magnificent bastard is here to help. Go ahead. Ask away.
Relax, big spender, we want your knowledge, not your credit card info. If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can then pretend that we knew about it all along.) Send a tip.
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Q: Black suit: Is a slim fit black suit a good move for the office and, if so, how should it be accessorized? I prefer to reserve black for evening events, but I'd like to go beyond the navy and charcoal options. (I either don't like light-colored suits, or I don't look good in them...I'm not sure which.)
—JY
A: A black suit — slim-fit or otherwise — is only a good move for exactly two occasions:
1. Funerals
2. Auditioning for a gangster role in a Tarantino pic
If you're bored with navy and charcoal and can't do light colors, try a pattern like a windowpane, pinstripe, or our favorite, Glen plaid like this one from Ralph Lauren  posted:5.11.12 filed under:  What American men need now: Grocery lists on their wristsQ: I was randomly looking through Kickstarter today and saw this: American-made, American-grown underwear. What do you think?
—Brian in Seattle
A: In a world where over 56,000 people have pledged over $8.3 million for a clunky wrist device that looks like a Swatch humped a Skycaddie, you'd think American-made (and American-grown, as you astutely point out) undies would generate at least, say, half a mil, right?
No, but a still-impressive $163K has been pledged for Jake Bronstein's Flint and Tinder to make classic briefs, straight-leg boxers, and boxer-briefs at a California clothing factory powered partially by the sun.
While we're opposed to boxer-briefs with leg bands, and "tighty whities" violate our guidelines on testicle-constricting underwear, the boxers look worth the modest investment. We're in.
Earlier: The Magnificent Bastard Underwear Guide posted:5.4.12 filed under:Q: What's your take on eyebrow maintenance? The unibrow is something to be avoided at all costs but there seems to be a lack of guidance on the subject in terms of the well-groomed male.
—Cam
A: Agreed that the unibrow should be avoided, though a few of our favorite Muppets make it work.
Just as we outsource cutting the grass and trimming the shrubs to lawn care professionals, we also recommend outsourcing eyebrow maintenance to your hair care professional. No manscaping here — that's a violation of the artful dishevelment principle — you want just enough deforestation so you don't end up looking like George W. Bush in the Navy pilot or blow years.
Any decent salon (and even a barbershop or two) has warm wax at the ready and can tidy up that patch of real estate in seconds. Simply ask for the service and tip well. It lasts for about four weeks, roughly the same time between haircuts, which is a convenient coincidence. posted:4.26.12 filed under:About this time last year Esquire ran a terrific little piece on top designer Michael Bastian, and how he couldn't afford his own clothes due to an expensive relationship with launch partner Brunello Cucinelli.
We speculated at the time that Bastian was shopping at J. Crew.
By going out on his own it was thought Bastian could lower his prices by 20%, but in fact it seems prices for his clothes have increased by about that much. Just in at thecorner.com:
* $810 for a Western shirt
* $2,915 for a blazer
* $360 for a pair of shorts
* $225 for a tank top
* $1,800 for a cashmere sweater with a ridiculous logo
That cashmere sweater (pictured) has us interested in the emerging field of Designer Algebra. In the Michael Bastian equation, a grey cashmere v-neck sweater is $300. Suede elbow patches are a buck seventy-five. The felt appliqué is 50¢. Put them together and it adds up to $1,800. posted:4.19.12 filed under: Q: What's your opinion of dress shirts from Charles Tyrwhitt?
—Chase
A: Regular readers know we're raging Anglophiliacs but there are some notable exceptions, like the food, the Windsor knot, and the shirts from Jermyn Street menswear outfitters like Charles Tyrwhitt.
Besides the Windsor knot-ready collar design, their shirts all look far too neat due to the stiff, fused interlinings that inhibit artful dishevelment, an MB principle even more dear than Anglophilia.
By contrast, dress shirts with sewn interlinings (or no interlining at all) aren't just more comfortable, they lend themselves to AD, their collars sometimes taking on as much personality as the person wearing them.
To see what we mean, take a look at Cary Grant's shirt collar in North by Northwest, shot before the invention of fusing. In our view, Grant's shirt from this movie should be equally as revered and admired as his Kilgour suit or Persol sunglasses.
Earlier: The Four Things Wrong With the Windsor Knot posted:4.12.12 filed under: Early last year we wondered if Bubba Watson was a toolbag with MB tendencies or vice versa.
Now we're pretty sure it's the latter.
This season Watson combined a pink head with his pink-shafted Ping G20 driver to support Breast Cancer Awareness (Ping donates $300 for every 300 yard drive Watson hits), and at the Masters he just won he wore the same white-on-white outfit for four days to raise money for Fresh Start, a California charity that provides cosmetic reconstructive surgery for children with physical defects.
Now Watson clothing sponsor Travis Mathew is selling a $200 white polo and belt package with 100% of the proceeds going to Fresh Start. If they sell out, an additional $50,000 will be donated to the California-based cancer research center City of Hope.
While both the polo and belt badly violate the MB principle of legible clothing, we're in, and the Pulaski Goodwill soon be receiving a NWT Travis Mathew polo shirt and belt.
Earlier: Top 5 Ways to Make the Green Jacket Look Even Worse posted:4.9.12 filed under: Q: I am going to a summer wedding and want to wear my favorite blue seersucker pants and white shirt. What I'm not sure about is what style shoes should I wear and what color jacket would be best? Also should I wear a tie? If so what kind?
—Sam
A: We would embrace and extend your casual look and wear a deconstructed two-button navy blazer, like this one from Scotch & Soda that's just 85 bucks. As for the tie we'd probably wear madras in a width that echos the 3" S&S blazer lapels, but if you don't have one handy just stuff this Land's End Canvas crinkle twill Tartan pocket square in your chest pocket and call it good. It's on sale for $9.99.
With all the money we just saved you, spend it on the shoes.
We always opt for fun takes on the sneaker, like these Bally boat shoes that would tie your preppy look together, and provide comfort when performing the inevitable running man/Melbourne shuffle.
If you don't think you can (or want to) pull that off, go for a blue suede moc from Car Shoe, the original driving shoe.
Earlier: MB Endorses: Exposed Ankles posted:4.3.12 filed under:Q: So my cheap Target sunglasses finally broke recently, and I'm upgrading to Randolph aviators. In regards to frame style, my instinct screams bayonet, but I've noticed toolbag frames are usually bayonet. For the up-and-coming, detail-driven magnificent bastard, what is your recommendation?
—Sky
A: Never ignore a screaming instinct, we always say. They happen to be right a lot.
While we agree that some toolbag frames are bayonet, Randolph Engineering aviators with bayonet temples are worn by two of our all-time favorite fictional characters: Col. Kilgore in Apocalypse Now (upper left) and Don Draper in Mad Men (upper right), both of whom would certainly qualify as MBs.
As long as you don't shave your head into a mohawk, wear an oversized Army jacket, and plan on assassinating a presidential candidate, you're good.
Earlier: Col. Kilgore's Bracelet and Dog Tag Accessorization posted:3.27.12 filed under: Q: Do you have an opinion on Arnie Wear?
—Mark
A: We absolutely love the idea behind Arnie Wear — who doesn't want to look like Arnold Palmer did in the '60s — it's the execution we have a problem with, with too-long sleeves on the polos, too-long inseams on the shorts, and far too much nylon and quick-dry polyester on everything.
The King never wore quick-dry polyester.
One item we'll be trying out, however, is the Leaderboard dress pant in (mostly) cotton, with a low rise and gentle boot cut (inset). Good golf pants are hard to find, and it looks like you could wear these into the office after a round (unless you get them in Lemon). Plus they'll go great with the Sambas.
Long before Arnie Wear came along, what we've done to put our twist on the '60s Palmer look is find a pair of casual white pants on YOOX, a slim-fitting banded-cuff polo from J.Crew (always on sale), and a fine-gauge cashmere-silk cardigan usually by Cruciani. Add a $4.99 plain white visor from e4hats.com and you are Palmer personified (except for his game).
Earlier: Visors. How and when to wear them. posted:3.20.12 filed under:This took way longer than it should have, but Adidas finally just threw some soft spikes on a pair of Sambas and instantly made the coolest golf shoe on the market. They've even created a limited-edition (only 1,950 pairs) green and gold Masters Packers shoe for fans of the greatest major team. posted:3.15.12 filed under: Q: When should I mothball the tweed for the year? Is it the same in the spring as fall - last freeze as predicted by the Farmer's Almanac? Or just before Easter?
— Mark
A: While the Farmer's Almanac's frost guide is perfect for the introduction of tweed, it's of no use for its retirement. The average last frost in Green Bay, Wisconsin is May 6, which is way, way too late to be wearing tweed. By then we're in white pants, drinking clear liquor.
Just before Easter might work if it had a set date like Christmas, but the range for this holiday 34 days, which is fine for Jesus's resurrection but unhelpful as a style guidepost.
Rather than rely on Mother Nature or Christian holidays for tweed mothbolling, we've been lead instead by the Energy Policy Act of 2005, which extended the start of daylight savings time (DST) three weeks, to the second Sunday in March starting in 2007. For the past six years we've found the start of DST to be a very reliable and natural-feeling tweed end date.
Earlier: Ask the MB: When to Break Out the Tweed posted:3.13.12 filed under: Q: Did you see this? I think I just died a little inside.
—Ben
A: We love imagining the look on "Style Guy" Glenn O'Brien's face when he learned underlings at GQ were suggesting fleece sweatpants ... with ankle-hugging elastic. He probably died a little bit, too, on the outside.
Despite the likes of prodigy designer Alexander Wang and shrunken-man designer Thom Browne doing fleece sweats — if you're insane you can buy a pair of Browne's sweatshorts for $300 — this is a clothing item best left to Rocky Balboa and George Costanza.
For times when we need the functionality of sweatpants — usually a tennis warm-up session and not training for a fight against Apollo Creed — we wear bottoms than emphasize the pants over the sweat. That is, pockets in both front and rear, unfettered leg openings, zip flys, and above all, no fleece. It's the fleece that gives off the "I give up" look.
Try Prada Sport if you can swing it, Fila if you can't.
Note: Due to an unusually high number of entries into the Allyn Scura eyewear contest, the winner won't be announced until tomorrow.
posted:3.12.12 filed under: Welcome to the 3rd Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.
The challenge: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) — like The Legend favored by reigning People "Sexiest Man Alive" Bradley Cooper — or a $100 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's entirely up to you.
To enter simply email editor@magnificentbastard.com with the names of the men pictured, and in the unlikely event of a tie — this is the hardest contest yet — what they all have in common. One entry per email address. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is next Friday, March 9th.
Earlier: Bradley Cooper in a pair of Allyn Scura Legends with A-list-only blue lenses.
Update: Ben Aitkin correctly identified the MBs pictured above. Top to bottom, left to right:
Frank Lloyd Wright
Spencer Tracy
Orson Welles
Gene Wilder
Bob Ueker
Chris Farley
Steve Miller
Les Paul
Willem Dafoe
He also got the tiebreaker correct (along with a bunch of other fellas): They were all born in Wisconsin.
What the others not do was get their name randomly picked from a Super Bowl XLV hat. Congrats Ben. Enjoy your new glasses from Allyn Scura. posted:2.28.12 filed under:Q: Can you please help Mitt Romney with his light colored dad jeans? Thanks.
—Larry
A: Late last year Esquire suggested Romney was wearing the light-wash Obama Fit denim (left) to connect with Iowa farmers — not to mention Iowa's jean-wearing moms — which got us wondering: Is Mitt Romney the first presidential candidate to not only say anything to get elected, but also wear anything to get elected?
Apparently not, as he campaigned in New Hampshire in early January in the Iowa Jeans, but then abruptly abandoned his mom jean-wearing principles after withering ridicule, including a mom-jean cartoon from the Los Angeles Times' David Horsey, and adopted a more fitted, lower-rise, faux-distressed look, as shown at a campaign stop in Boise on Friday (right).
Is this a little better, Larry?
Earlier: Chart! How to Determine What Brand of Jeans to Wear Based on Your Age
Earlier: Obama Mired in Permanent Fashion Recession posted:2.21.12 filed under: via Read's Clothing Project. $155.00.A young designer we've had our eye on for over a year is Read Wall, proprietor of Read's Clothing Project.
We liked his take on the sport shirt: slim and fitted but with a collar that looks like it sometimes enjoys a beer and a steak, in contrast to manorexic collars from Band of Outsiders or Paul Smith, for example. For S/S 2012 he's using Japanese cotton, sewn interlinings, and has moved production to the United States. Plus, for every purchase he donates a book of your choice to a kid in Africa.
The improvements (and literary altruism) don't come without a cost. Read's shirts are $155. However, for the next week you can get 30% off with the code MagnificentShirts. That's $108.50 for what RCP guarantees will be your favorite shirt or your money back. Size up one for sure, and if you're on the fence, size up two. posted:2.13.12 filed under: via amazon.com. $28.20.Q: What the heck is the Spectacular Bitch up to? Still no website! I was looking forward to seeing what an alpha female has to say. At this rate she must be in danger of losing the "spectacular" label. Spank her, will you?
—Jim
A: Oh, Jim! Jim, Jim, JIM!
If anyone deserves a spanking, it's MB. I am ready. I have been ready.
See you soon, you naughty boy.
SB
(Ed. note: she is ready.) posted:2.7.12 filed under:Wearing of ironic mustaches is down 100% in New England this morning as Wes Welker dropped a critical pass at the New York Giants 23 yard line with 4:00 left that would've most likely won Super Bowl XLVI.
Even Welker himself shaved his 'stache after the game.
After the drop, Chris Collinsworth said, "Welker makes that catch 100 times out of 100." Seconds later Al Michaels replied, "That must be the 101st."
Welker posed for a "Got Milk?" campaign with Giants wideout Hakeem Nicks before the game. In his post-game interview Welker said, "It comes to the biggest moment of my life and I don't come up with it. It's discouraging."
The Patriots, who didn't win a regular season game against a team with a winning record, were exposed as a fraud even bigger than our beloved GBP.
Earlier: Tom Brady's Emerging Bald Spot Signals End of Patriots' Dynasty posted:2.6.12 filed under: via amazon.com. $150.00.Q: I was all set to pick up a pair of the MB-approved Kombi Captain Freedom gloves for a ski trip in Jackson Hole, when I discovered that the folks at Kombi have altered the design. (new one here: http://www.snowshack.com/detail/SNW+KB-30324+L). It's like New England getting rid of the Pat Patriot helmet. Some things just don't make sense. Nonetheless, the gloves are still pretty sweet. Do you approve?
—Andrew
A: What's worse? New England getting rid of Pat Patriot or Tampa Bay abandoning the winking pirate Bucco Bruce? We say the latter by a nautical mile.
At any rate, we were completely joking about wearing the Kombi Captain Freedom gloves for skiing. (Though we weren't joking at all about wearing the Naked and Famous Snowpant Denim; they are terrific for banging bumps.)
What we're wearing this year is Wigens bearclaw gloves (bottom). Made in Sweden, these not only protect your fingers from Jack Frost, they also double as part of a Halloween costume if you're dressed as a black bear. 100% goat leather plus 100% rabbit on the outside, the only problem with these is they're too warm. posted:2.1.12 filed under:Q: What do you think of white stitched jeans for a younger male? I got a pair tonight and I love them but some of my friends disagree. Thoughts?
—Heath
A: While your youth is a slight mitigating factor, please consult the Venn diagram below as a guide. (In other words, your friends might have a point.)
 posted:1.30.12 filed under: The MBWhen Bryan Swanson invented the Magnificent Bastard Cocktail in 2010, there was some grumbling from some single malt scotch purists that mixing Laphroaig into a cocktail was fundamentally wrong. While we could kind of see their point at first, we couldn't after enjoying a few of these tasty, slightly smoky treats.
Now, nearly two years later, the February 2012 issue of GQ says, "any cocktail joint worth its Boston shaker is working the smoky stuff (i.e. single malts such as Laphroaig) into drinks."
While they recommend something called Penecillin, try the MB instead:
2 oz Bulleit bourbon
1 oz Berentzen Apfelkorn
1/8 oz Laphroaig 10-year scotch
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass filled with ice. Stir vigorously for 20-30 seconds. Strain into ice-filled rocks glass. posted:1.26.12 filed under:Q: Hey MB. I also went into an alcohol-fueled spending spree after the devastating loss to the Giants. I did my damage at Mr. Porter's sale, but I have a question about the fit of those Aspesi down jackets. What size did you order? I am 5'10" about 170, 33 waist. I want to replace my rotting Patagonia down jacket, but I wasn't sure what size to order of the Aspesi on The Corner. All that is left is a Large. Any advice?
—Ben
A: Like most Italian brands, Aspesi fits small. Their XL pushes it for us, but we're all quite a big bigger than you, so our strong hunch is the large Aspesi down jacket will fit you perfectly and be a significant upgrade over anything Patagonia, rotting or not.
If you want to take it up even another notch, get into Z Zegna. Slip it on and you'll agree that the additional $202 was totally worth it. (Zegna fits much more traditional American.) posted:1.26.12 filed under:We haven't been this excited about a golf club since, well, never.
The Cleveland Classic Tour Driver doesn't even ship until mid February, yet we're more deeply in love with it than the deepness of its gorgeous face (upper left). For all we know, it could hit the ball 10 yards shorter and more crooked than the previously endorsed Nike Victory Red driver, and it wouldn't matter. It's that beautiful. Nothing will ever replace our beloved persimmon MacGregor Eye-O-Matic, but this comes damn close. (And it even comes with a vintage-style, totally non-toolbag headcover that goes with your MacKenzie walker golf bag.) posted:1.24.12 filed under:Q: I'm looking to layer up in London over the winter. What are your feelings on long sleeves under a tshirt? Is there any way I can pull off this kind of layering without looking like a douche/toolbag?
—Bradley
A: Layering is a key MB principle, but this look has always seemed backwards to us, like putting underwear over your pants. posted:1.24.12 filed under: This hurt us way more than it hurt youQ: Ben Roethlisberger, post game news conference, WTF?
—Wade
A: Big Ben clearly has a hat that's Too Tiny, enhancing the size of his already large and increasingly flabby melon, one that has more chins than the number of TDs he threw against Denver on Sunday.
What struck us though, besides the fact that Roethlisberger bothered to wear something besides an untucked sport shirt, is that this is the same outfit he wore to the ESPY awards in July, 2009, 2½ years ago (below). It's true he's a Hall of Fame toolbag, but you'd think a guy who made $12 million this year would not recycle a dated three-piece suit and prepackaged shirt/tie/pocket square combo he probably picked up at TJ Maxx for $19.99.
As for the vest Tim Tebow was wearing after the game, we've had a few questions about the brand and model and we're researching it. Tebow has definitely stepped up his game since his jorts days at Florida. posted:1.9.12 filed under:A fringe candidate seemingly just days ago, Rick Santorum's first-place (or second-place) finish in the Iowa caucuses has vaulted him — and his sweater vest — into national prominence.
Unfortunately he gets it all wrong, from the rolled-down sleeves to the pleated pants to the Gingrich-sized gut, dealing a blow to a look we strongly endorse (below). posted:1.4.12 filed under:Ovadia & Sons, the Brooklyn-born twins cited as the Next Big Thing by every menswear blog this side of the Mississippi, were recently named one of "America's Next Great Designers" by Details magazine (December 2011/January 2012 issue).
When asked about a Trend That Needs to Go Away, Shimon Ovadia said, "Slim suit lapels and skinny ties. It's time for a change. Plus, you can't be a muscular guy wearing a super-slim tie."
We wholeheartedly agree, and are reminded of The Great Tie Width Debate about this time last year between Band of Outsiders' skinny tie purveyor Scott Sternberg and Tom Ford, with Ford saying, "There is something a bit meager and uptight about a skinny tie and jacket...I think that accentuating the natural V of a man's body makes men look more masculine, less boyish, and in general more powerful."
The pendulum is finally swinging Ford's way. Don't be the last guy to buy a tie narrower than 3", or a blazer/suit with lapels inside that same width. posted:1.3.12 filed under:If you read the Christmas edition of the New York Times — and who didn't even before opening presents? — you saw this article about the growing size of men's wristwatches. Since men can no longer drive Hummers without being subject to public ridicule (plus the fact that the company has been shut down), some are replacing large vehicles with large watches, which is why Tom Cruise wears a U-Boat watch that's 64.4 millimeters in diameter, or as the Times wryly notes, a watch that's the same size as a White Castle slider.
Don't be Tom Cruise. We've regularly repeated our ≤ 40mm rule since this site started in July 2007, and now more than ever you should either adopt or stick to it. Within months, or perhaps even weeks, wearing a 64mm watch will be even more post-peak than Jersey Shore.
posted:12.27.11 filed under:Q: The ascot....I am wearing it. It does have a HDD (High Degree of Difficulty —Ed.) but a real MB can pull it off. Your thoughts on this?
—Jason
A: The ascot meets at least four core MB principles:
1. Anglophilia. They were first introduced in England.
2. Archaism. In the late 19th century.
3. Exclusivity. It's nearly impossible to find a good one.
4. Senseless Lack of Utility. They are even more useless than a necktie (i.e. they're too short to double as a belt or decent tourniquet in a pinch).
In other words, we love them.
But can you really pull it off? To answer that question we've created an ascot-wearing "decider" flowchart below to help guide you.
posted:12.21.11 filed under: Q: Winter is upon us, and I've developed a case of "color matching doubts and anxiety".
— Black pea coat with denim?
— Dark blue sweater with black pea coat?
— Brown sweater with black jeans?
All these look OK in my mind, but I've heard there are rules. Generally, how to wear black other than with black? Please help clear my mind.
—Shane
A: Black and blue are a natural pairing, so wear #1 and #2 with confidence. We would never try #3, not because it can't work, but because we don't own a pair of black jeans, primarily to avoid ever looking like anything resembling Justin Theroux. (We don't care if he's plowing The Hottest Woman of All-Time. 40-year-old in a Siouxsie and the Banshees T? Even money says this dude's never even been to a show.)
Anyhow, if you're still suffering from color matching doubts and anxiety after reading this we recommend avoiding black entirely and opting instead for charcoal grey for the outerwear and blue for the jeans. Both of those go with anything.
posted:12.13.11 filed under:
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