BEFORE (July 2008)
3. Posing with Charles Atlas (suffers in a "97 lb. weakling" kind of way by comparison)
AFTER (April 2009)
1. Leave PDA at home; no text message important enough to reply to while meeting the troops
2. If you must wear jewelry, stick with nipple rings or other stuff hidden beneath clothes
3. Always pose with Bravo Company, Pygmy Battalion
Stir over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a Luxardo maraschino cherry.
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