Magnificent Bastard

Monday, November 30, 2015

From the Shop ↷

Game-Day Belt

Facepainting & foam fingers are not you. A belt made of NFL football leather is. Understated fanaticism FTW!

Game-Day Luxury Box

Transport your game-day suds in style, on a carpet of AstroTurf & a handle made of NFL football leather

Secret Agent Belt

Look like a fictional British Secret Service agent for just $30.07

300-Year Sterling Silver Buckle Belt

Built to look great forever — even if you live to 300

Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag

Let's all try and avoid these devastating fashion faux pas.

backwards baseball cap

baseball hat

Do you play catcher for a major league ball club? Minor league? Local softball team? No? Then don't do this.

oakley blades

oakley blades

Your Tour de France riding days are over, pal.

bluetooth headset

bluetooth headset

1. Trust us, you're not that important.
2. You're now just one-degree removed from Lando Calrissian's bald android assistant.

gold necklace

gold necklace

Rap moguls, NBA stars, and Mr. T excluded. Some white guy from the 'burbs, nuh uh.

tommy bahama shirt

tommy bahama shirt

When in Hawaii, this is OK. In the upper 49, toolbag.

national review magazine

national review magazine

In close association with bad style, bad politics.

belt-clipped cellphone

belt-clipped cell phone

Scream "I am a middle manager!" a little louder. The guy across the street didn't hear you.


"cause" wristband

Exceptions made if you or immediate family member is battling various wristband maladies. Otherwise, grab a scissors.

over-the-knee, double-pleated shorts

over-the-knee, double-pleated shorts

Two things wrong here:
1. 4 pleats.
2. Over the knee.



The Zubaz of the '00s. Here's a good rule to live by: Never wear the same shoes as your 5-year-old nephew.



Bourbon Manhattan

  • 3 oz bourbon
  • 3/4 oz sweet vermouth, preferably Dolin
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a Luxardo maraschino cherry.


Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota

34° Patchy light snow

Bourbon Manhattan

Enter any city on earth & start cocktailing. (Zip codes work, too.)


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