Q: Is there such a thing as a Magnificent Bastardly Halloween costume?
A: There are three holidays we don't participate in: New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day, and Halloween. Too many amateurs. Regarding Halloween, the fact that Jersey Shore cast members Snooki, DJ Pauly D, and The Situation are this year's top costumes (as well as Lady Gaga) should give you pause. However, if you insist, three years ago we created a pseudo-scientific Halloween costume chart that is surprisingly relevant today.