Magnificent Bastard

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

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Contact the MB: Scooter Helmets

Contact the MB: Scooter Helmets
Sorry, ya'all. There is no such thing as an MB scooter helmet because scooters just ain't MB. Especially nuevo-retro scooters. Riding a scooter is like fucking a fat chick. It might be fun until your friends find out. Said another way, did McQueen ever ride a scooter? Fuck no. He was a MAN, and he rode a MOTORCYCLE. Take a hint. Scooters are either for dorks or toolbags.
--Chris


Last week, after our scooter helmet post, we learned that many of our readers do not like scooters one bit. Or helmets. One reader even concluded the post was so off-brand that we had to be paid by either Genuine Scooters or Bell helmets to write it.

That's not true. In fact, our policy on advertisers is the same as our policy on fat chicks. When we land one, we tell everyone!

But we're getting off-track. This post is about scooters. As longtime readers know, we've always liked 'em. Making them work does, however, have a high DD (degree of difficulty). It helps if you're ex-CIA with an unflappable patrician air, but even imminent rock superstars can sometimes pull it off. Of course, the failure rate will always be high, as Hugh Grant (top), Hugh Jackman, and James Gandolfini demonstrate. But there's nothing MB about never risking spectacular failure.

Also, we nearly forgot: Steve McQueen didn't only ride motorcycles (bottom).

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  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz vodka
  • 1/2 oz Lillet Blonde (Blanc)

Lightly shake, or aggressively stir, ingredients with ice, pour into chilled martini glass. Garnish with lemon twist or a blonde.


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