Magnificent Bastard

Friday, July 25, 2014

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Decoding Julian Assange's Hair

Decoding Julian Assange's Hair

Sweden wants to lock up WikiLeaks muckraker Julian Assange for blowing his whistle without a condom. The U.S. wants him for data-rape. Supposedly he's sequestered in a U.K. jail cell for the time being, but with Assange can you really ever be sure? His hair is like a Swiss Army knife of disguise. In limp noodle mode, it turns him into B-list bad guy Julian Sands. Seconds later, he's pop art cipher Andy Warhol or America's favorite Ladies Lady Ellen DeGeneres.

So is that really him on lockdown, or are the Brits maybe holding 007 by mistake?

Julian Assange Julian Sands
The Euro-Mullet
Julian Assange Neal Patrick Harris
Doogie Nights
Julian Assange Andy Warhol
The Mop Top
Julian Assange Hermey the Elf
Santa's Little Hacker
Julian Assange Ellen Degeneres
Tipped Off
Julian Assange Daniel Craig
The Quantum of Pompous

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  • 2 oz Pimm's No. 1
  • 4 oz ginger beer
  • cucumber slice

Fill tall glass with ice. Pour in Pimm’s and ginger beer. Stir. Garnish with cucumber slice.


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