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You know the sort of conspicuous consumption that involves dining on tiny $95 portions of Il St. Canut suckling pig with hedgehog mushrooms and celery root? We're all for it. But when you devour that suckling pig like a barnyard hog snorting up a pile of grain, that's the sort of conspicuous consumption that's a little too conspicuous. If you're not a celebrity and everyone in the restaurant's still staring at you when you eat, you are probably following our handy little guide a little too rigorously. We present: Top 7 Ways to Eat Like a Total Toolbag.
