Magnificent Bastard

Saturday, December 20, 2014

World Cup Quarterfinal Predictions

World Cup Quarterfinal Predictions
Last week longtime reader Duncan suggested we predict World Cup quarterfinal appearances based on the teams' coaches' match-day attire. The Saturday matches played out as you'd expect. From top:

Uruguay's Oscar Tabarez wears boxy banker suits, but was an easy winner over South Korea's Huh Jung-Moo, who's officially the last person on earth who should be wearing a spread collar. In the other match Ghana's Milovan Rajevac could've worn almost anything to beat Bob Bradley; the poor bastard's only a fanny pack shy of pulling off of the archetypal clueless American tourist look.

The Sunday matchups were a different story. The normally natty Joachim Loew wore some kind of royal blue synthetic v-neck under a blazer and his German team still crushed Fabio Capello's Englishmen. Then Mexico's Javier Aguirre's understated elegance easily succumbed to the noisy, shiny, diamond earring-wearing Diego Maradona, who looks a contestant on the Argentine version of Tool Academy.

So far it's a flip of a coin. A 50-50 proposition. How should things play out?

Paraguay (Gerardo Martino) over Japan (Takeshi Okada)

Portugal (Carlos Queiroz) over Spain (Vicente Del Bosque)

Netherlands (Bert van Marwijk) over Slovakia (Vladimir Weiss)

Brazil (Dunga) over Chile (Marcello Bielsa)

POURCAST

BETA

Sazerac

  • 3 shots rye whiskey (or to taste)
  • 1 sugar cube
  • Peychaud's Bitters
  • quarter shot of Absinthe
  • lemon twist

Soak the sugar cube with the bitters and place in the bottom of a highball glass. Mash with the back of a spoon (or muddler, which we hope has not been used to make a Mojito), add the rye whiskey and fill the glass with ice. Stir for about 30 seconds and then strain into another lowball glass that has been rinsed with Absinthe and filled about halfway with ice. Garnish with a lemon twist.


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