Thursday, November 14, 2019
Thursday, November 14, 2019
 |
1. Dress like a toolbag See also, Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag |
 |
2. Take a cart Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty. |
 |
3. Stand behind a player while he's putting If you got a little closer you'd have an even better look at the line. |
 |
4. Eat sunflower seeds Leave these for the next time you're in a dugout. |
 |
5. Be loud You made a 12-footer for par. That's terrific. Now act like you've done it before. |
 |
6. Use a rangefinder "It's 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker." Dude, if you were that good you'd be on a tour. |
 |
7. Use a cellphone The POTUS cut his round short rather than use on-course communications before the raid on Osama Bin Laden. You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours? |
BETA
Fill rocks glass with ice. Pour in scotch, vermouth, bitters. Stir. Garnish, if you must, with a lemon twist.
Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota
23° Overcast
Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com
We've written about
We're sad to report that Makers and Riders is closing up shop. Regular readers know their
As recently as May Corey Lewandowski sported a sort-of-normally-sized flag pin. Yesterday in front of Congress he...
Note to our 6' 3" president: Go stand by Abe or Macron, not a 6' 2" prime minister!
Trump's height claim...
DEAL 1: In our MB Build series from earlier this year,
Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.
If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.