Tuesday, July 8, 2025
Tuesday, July 8, 2025
 |
1. Dress like a toolbag See also, Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag |
 |
2. Take a cart Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty. |
 |
3. Stand behind a player while he's putting If you got a little closer you'd have an even better look at the line. |
 |
4. Eat sunflower seeds Leave these for the next time you're in a dugout. |
 |
5. Be loud You made a 12-footer for par. That's terrific. Now act like you've done it before. |
 |
6. Use a rangefinder "It's 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker." Dude, if you were that good you'd be on a tour. |
 |
7. Use a cellphone The POTUS cut his round short rather than use on-course communications before the raid on Osama Bin Laden. You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours? |
BETA
Shake or swirl lightly, garnish with a lemon twist.
In-Depth Martinez Coverage:
×Currently in
Minneapolis, Minnesota
70° Partly Cloudy
Feedback? editor@magnificentbastard.com
Your dad might have a '64 911, a trophy wife, and a full head of dark hair, but we're betting he doesn't have a belt...
We haven't given Kato Kaelin a 2nd thought for nearly 30 years — about as long as our last post — but the...
We just learned that Allyn Scura, the official eyewear supplier of Magnificent Bastard, is closing down their...
Last week former Trump fixer Michael Cohen testified against his old boss in a civil trial, and under cross...
When the most exciting part of the 44th Ryder Cup was the hubbub around Patrick Cantlay not wearing a hat, you know...
Got a style question? We're all ears. And antlers. Ask away.
If you know about something you think we should know about, let us know (so we can pretend we knew about it all along). Send a tip.