Magnificent Bastard

Friday, July 26, 2024



Top 7 Ways to Golf Like a Total Toolbag

1.

Dress like a toolbag

See also, Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag

2.

Take a cart

Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty.

3.

Stand behind a player while he's putting

If you got a little closer you'd have an even better look at the line.

4.

Eat sunflower seeds

Leave these for the next time you're in a dugout.

5.

Be loud

You made a 12-footer for par. That's terrific. Now act like you've done it before.

6.

Use a rangefinder

"It's 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker." Dude, if you were that good you'd be on a tour.

7.

Use a cellphone

The POTUS cut his round short rather than use on-course communications before the raid on Osama Bin Laden. You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours?

POURCAST

BETA

Southside (MB-Bastardized)

  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz fresh lemon juice
  • 1 sugar cube (or half teaspoon simple sugar)
  • soda water (if desired)

Place the sugar cube at the bottom of a lowball glass, add the fresh lemon juice, and mash with the back of a spoon. Fill two-thirds with ice and the gin and stir for at least 30 seconds. Add soda water, if desired, and give a quick stir. Garnish with a lemon wedge.

In-Depth Southside (MB-Bastardized) Coverage:

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