Magnificent Bastard

Monday, December 2, 2024



contest

The Winner of the 9th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

The Winner of the 9th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

Tony Bertucci.

(This contest was easily the most difficult of the nine we've run. Thanks to the entrants who reminded us of who they all are. We could not have done it without you.)

Tony successfully identified the bespectacled or sunglassified MBs in the 9th Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Contest:

1. Arthur Miller
2. Orson Welles
3. Aaron Copland
4. Dalton Trumbo
5. Burl Ives
6. Burgess Meredith
7. Paul Robeson
8. Langston Hughes
9. Leonard Bernstein

Tony also nailed the tiebreaker question. "What do they all have in common?" Answer: they were all on the Hollywood blacklist.

Tony won the contest because he had the good fortune to have his entry randomly selected, as were the two runner ups, who will receive a Magnificent Bastard tie of his choice (2nd place) and a Secret Agent Belt (3rd place). Or they can also choose our very populuar Minimum Viable Wallet.

ASE Angelo in bottle green lenses

Tony, enjoy your new pair of Allyn Scura frames. We always recommend the legendary Legend, or the ASE Angelo, our all-time favorite sunglasses (and we own several dozen). Alternatively, you can put your $125 credit towards a pair of Allyn Scura's vintage frames, like these Bollé glacier mountaineering frames we recommend using for skiing, too. It's your choice.

Thanks to everyone who played and if the world doesn't end between now and next February, maybe we'll see you again for the 10th Kind-of-Annual ASEC.

MB Contest: 9th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: 9th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

We took a year off, but we're back with the 9th Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

THE CHALLENGE: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) or a $125 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's up to you. And same as two years ago, we're adding a couple of MB sweeteners. The runner up gets a Magnificent Bastard tie of his/her choice and 3rd place gets a Secret Agent Belt.

To enter simply fill out the form located here with the names of the men pictured, and, in the event of a tie, what they all have in common. One entry per person. USA only. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is Friday, March 13 at midnight CST.

The Winner of the 8th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

The Winner of the 8th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

Jason Andes.

Jason successfully identified the bespectacled or sunglassified MBs in the 8th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Contest:

1. Stokely Carmichael
2. Bob Marley
3. Bruce Willis
4. Cary Grant
5. Joseph Pulitzer
6. I.M. Pei
7. John Lennon
8. Willem de Kooning
9. Claude Rains (as The Invisible Man)

Jason also nailed the tiebreaker question. "What do they all have in common?" Answer: they all are immigrants.

Stokely Carmichael: Trinidad and Tobago
Bob Marley: Jamaica
Bruce Willis: Germany
Cary Grant: United Kingdom
Joseph Pulitzer: Hungary
I.M. Pei: China
John Lennon: United Kingdom
Willem de Kooning: Netherlands
Claude Rains: United Kingdom

Jason won the contest because he had the good fortune to have his entry randomly selected, as were the two runner ups, who will receive a Magnificent Bastard tie of his choice (2nd place) and a Secret Agent Belt (3rd place).

ASE Angelo in bottle green lenses

Jason, enjoy your new pair of Allyn Scura frames. We always recommend the legendary Legend, or the ASE Angelo, our all-time favorite sunglasses (and we own several dozen). Alternatively, you can put your $125 credit towards a pair of Allyn Scura's vintage or reproduction frames, like these ridiculously oversized and equally fun Kala Chateaus, modeled by Elliott Gould in Ocean's 11. It's your choice.

Thanks to everyone who played and we'll see you again next year for the 9th Annual ASEC.

MB Contest: 8th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: 8th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

Welcome to the 8th Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

THE CHALLENGE: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) or a $125 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's up to you. And same as last year, we're adding a couple of MB sweeteners. The runner up gets a Magnificent Bastard tie of his/her choice and 3rd place gets a Secret Agent Belt.

To enter simply fill out the form located here with the names of the men pictured, and, in the event of a tie, what they all have in common. One entry per person. USA only. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is Friday, April 6 at midnight CDT.

The Winner of the 7th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

The Winner of the 7th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

Lee Lerner.

Lee was part of the 92% of entrants — too easy this time! — who identified the bespectacled or sunglassified MBs in the 7th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Contest.

1. David Mamet
2. Wilt Chamberlain
3. Dennis Hopper
4. John Wayne
5. Elvis Presley
6. Frank Sinatra
7. Jack Nicklaus
8. James Caan
9. Sammy Davis, Jr.

Lee was also part of a much smaller cohort — 12 — who nailed the tiebreaker question. "What do they all have in common?" Answer: they all are (or were) members of the Republican party.

Lee also lucked out as his entry was randomly selected from the 12, as were the two runner ups, who will receive a Magnificent Bastard tie of his/her choice (2nd place) and a Secret Agent Belt (3rd place).

Lee, enjoy your new pair of Allyn Scura frames. We always recommend the famed Legend, or for a less traditional look, the Sergio. Both are terrific and draw positive feedback as either eyewear or sunglasses. Alternatively, you can put your $125 credit towards a pair of Allyn Scura's vintage or reproduction frames, like these ridiculously oversized and equally fun Kala Chateaus, modeled by Elliott Gould in Ocean's 11. It's your choice.

MB Contest: 7th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: 7th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

Welcome to the 7th Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

THE CHALLENGE: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) or a $125 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's up to you. And same as last year, we're adding a couple of MB sweeteners. The runner up gets a Magnificent Bastard tie of his/her choice and 3rd place gets a Secret Agent Belt.

To enter simply fill out the form located here with the names of the men pictured, and, in the event of a tie, what they all have in common. One entry per person. USA only. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is Wednesday, May 31 at midnight CDT.

WINNERS! The "Holy Fucking Shit! Donald Trump is President" Contest

WINNERS! The

We combined our latest sale — two Made in USA ties for $60; use code BUYAMERICAN at checkout — with our latest contest: Identify the 13 people/rodent labeled in the banner ad and win free stuff.

First, the correct answers:

1. Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock in the original Star Trek
2. Kim Kardashian
3. Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf
4. Queen Elizabeth II
5. Clint Eastwood as Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino
6. Janet Leigh as Marion Crane in Psycho
7. Jeff Bridges as The Dude in The Big Lebowski
8. Richard Simmons
9. Dramatic Chipmunk
10. George W. Bush
11. Katy Perry
12. Will Smith as Will Smith on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
13. Hillary Clinton

We needed to make this more difficult as most entries scored a 100%. Just about all of the failed entries were the result of identifying the Dramatic Chipmunk as a squirrel.

Anyhow, we ran the perfect scores through random.org and the winners are:

1st Place: Gregory Miller — A MB University tie
2nd Place: Conor Deegan — A Minimum Viable Wallet
3rd Place: Patrick Franz — A Baker's Dozen Letterpress Beverage Shields

Thanks to everyone for playing. In April we'll run the 7th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Contest where you can win a great pair of sunglasses or eyeglasses, and MB will be sure to throw in some goodies, too. Stay tuned.

A Sale! And a Contest! At the Same Time!

A Sale! And a Contest! At the Same Time!

2017 is off to a roaring start, and let's face it, no one's exactly sure if we'll make it to 2018. Or even March. So we're speeding up the pace here. Instead of having a sale now, and then somewhere down the line, when we get bored again, a contest, we're having a sale and a contest!


SALE

The terms of the sale are explained in the banner ad at the top of our site: 2 Made in the USA ties for $60. 4 for $120. Use code BUYAMERICAN at checkout.

Shop Ties Now!


CONTEST

The contest is simple too: Accurately identify the 13 people (and rodent) labeled in the banner ad and you're entered to win free stuff via a random drawing:

1st place: An MB University Tie
2nd place: A Minimum Viable Wallet (MVW) of your choice
3rd place: A baker's dozen Letterpress Beverage Shields

Here's the link to the contest entry. [THIS CONTEST IS OVER BUT STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT ONE.]

As a sort of prayer to the universe, we're accepting entries until March 7th, because we're hoping the USA survives at least through the Super Bowl and the first episode of Season 5 of The Americans. Good luck to us all!

The Winner of the 6th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

The Winner of the 6th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

Karl Foote.

Karl was part of the 81% of entrants who identified the bespectacled or sunglassified MBs in the 6th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Contest. Clockwise from upper left: George Clooney, John Cusack, John Travolta, Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Woody Harrelson, James Coburn, Louis Gossett Jr., James Earl Jones.

Karl was also part of a much smaller cohort — 11 — who nailed the tiebreaker question (which was biased towards fans of a Terrence Malick masterpiece). "What do they all have in common?" Answer: they all starred in a movie with our spiritual advisor, Nick Nolte.

George Clooney — The Thin Red Line
John Cusack — The Thin Red Line
John Travolta — The Thin Red Line
Robert De Niro — Cape Fear
Sean Penn — The Thin Red Line
Woody Harrelson — The Thin Red Line
James Coburn — Affliction
Louis Gossett Jr. — The Deep
James Earl Jones — Three Fugitives

Finally, Karl lucked out as his entry was randomly selected from the 11, as were the two runner ups. The unfateful eight will receive complimentary letterpress beverage shields for their participation and acumen. (Keep an eye on your inbox for details.)

Karl, enjoy your new pair of Allyn Scura frames. We always recommend the famed Legend, or for a less traditional look, the Sergio. Both are terrific and draw positive feedback as either eyewear or sunglasses. Alternatively, you can put your $125 credit towards a pair of Allyn Scura's vintage frames, like these Carrera 5425 sunglasses, modeled by De Niro in Casino. It's your choice.

MB Contest: 6th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: 6th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

Welcome to the 6th Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

THE CHALLENGE: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) or a $125 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's up to you. This year we're sweetening the deal. The runner up gets a Magnificent Bastard tie of his/her choice and 3rd place gets a Secret Agent Belt.

To enter simply fill out the form below with the names of the men pictured, and, in the event of a tie, what they all have in common. One entry per person. USA only. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is Thursday, March 31 at midnight CDT.

Sorry, this contest is closed.

The Winner of the 5th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

The Winner of the 5th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

Here are the correct answers to the Challenge:

1. Jesse Ventura
2. Bob Dylan
3. Vince Vaughn
4. Prince
5. Ethan Coen
6. Charles Schulz
7. Paul Westerberg
8. Sinclair Lewis
9. Josh Hartnett

This year there were lots of entries with perfect scores, and unfortunately our tie-breaker question — what do they all have in common? — was too easy and answered correctly by all entries, even by the guy who thought Sinclair Lewis was Garrison Keillor. The answer: They were all born in Minnesota.

This forces us to rely on random.org to select a winner and runner-up, and those titles go to...

Joe Schachtner and Clint Miller.

Joe, enjoy your new pair of Allyn Scura frames. We always recommend the famed Legend, or for a more offbeat look, the Sergio. Both are terrific and consistently draw positive feedback. Alternatively, you can put your $125 credit towards a pair of Allyn Scura's vintage frames, like these Carrera 5595 sunglasses, modeled in a 1986 print ad by Formula 1 racing legend Niki Lauda. It's your choice.

Clint, as the runner-up you get to select a tie from our growing collection. Let us know what strikes your fancy and we'll send one out to you.

Thanks to everyone who played and we'll see you again next year for the 6th-Annual Challenge.

MB Contest: 5th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: 5th Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

Welcome to the 5th Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

THE CHALLENGE: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) or a $125 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's up to you. This year we're sweetening the deal. The runner up gets a Magnificent Bastard tie of his/her choice (several more excellent spring additions coming later this month).

To enter simply fill out the form below with the names of the men pictured, and, in the event of a tie, what they all have in common. One entry per person. USA only. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is Tuesday, March 31 at midnight CDT.

Adam Smith Cashmere Belt on Sale — Thank the Trivago Guy

Adam Smith Belt in Chocolate Sandwich Cookie (+ Trivago Guy) via Magnificent Bastard, $50.00
Adam Smith Belt in Chocolate Sandwich Cookie (+ Trivago Guy) via Magnificent Bastard. $50.00.

Sometime last year, the data scientists at Trivago figured out a simple metric for identifying potential customers: If you can't afford a belt, you probably are in the market for a good deal on a hotel room. Thus, an advertising campaign was born. In a commercial that started airing last year, a pitchman who would ultimately become known as Trivago Guy began captivating television viewers. Bedraggled, bleary-eyed, and, to connect with the target audience, beltless, Trivago Guy looks like he has spent the last 20 years draining hotel room mini-bars dry while leaving the pillows untouched. And yet who can deny the easygoing but absolute assurance he projects when explaining what to look for in an online hotel reservation service?

#trivagoGuy, in short, was a hit. But now that he has apparently captured the unshaven-and-beltless traveler demographic, Trivago has decided to give him a makeover. Share a photo of what he should look like on social media, and you can win a five-day trip to Berlin.

In the old days, of course, only new CEOs were allowed to wreck winning ad campaigns. Now, thanks to the democritization of media, we all can.

But the truth is Trivago Guy does provide an instructive lesson in when artful dishevelment stops being artful and crosses over into Stage I Homelessness. His rumpled hair? Fine as is. His three-day stubble? Also okay. His shirt? Incorrectly disheveled. He should switch from full tuck to semi-tuck. And most importantly, as London mayor Boris Johnson showed us in 2009, Trivago should indeed put on a belt.

We think our Adam Smith Cashmere belt in Chocolate Sandwich Cookie is exactly what Trivago Guy needs to perfect his look. And to emphasize this fact, we're having a sale, from now through August 30, or until we run out of belts, whichever comes first. Regular price $90. Sale price $50, shipping included. We're sure Trivago Guy himself would approve — he knows a deal when he sees one.

The Winner of the Hydrogen-1 Blue Suede Slip-Ons Is…

The Winner of the Hydrogen-1 Blue Suede Slip-Ons Is…

Thanks to all who entered our recent contest. This time, only a small number of participants achieved a perfect score. The question that stumped many of you? Number 2, the one about what beings on Neptune would probably wear if they existed and had feet. While we're sure they would appreciate the easy style and Italian craftsmanship of the Hydrogen-1 Neptunians, Neptune also has an average temperature of around -328 F (as our hint page revealed). That's even colder than it gets it in NYC, in the midst of a polar vortex — so the Sorel Caribou Reserve Lined Pac Boots were the correct answer.

Four of you got that one and all the other questions correct. Thus, we assigned you each a number and ran these number through the True Random Number Service. The lucky winner? Adam Dewitz. Adam, let us know your size and mailing address, and we'll connect you with your new pair of Neptunians, just in time for summer.

Those of you who came up short, take heart. We'll be announcing a new contest soon.

Win a Pair of Hydrogen-1 'Neptunian' Slip-Ons

Win a Pair of Hydrogen-1 'Neptunian' Slip-Ons

We filed our taxes. The Timberwolves' season is mercifully over. And the days are getting long enough to golf until 8:15 (if our country club wasn't covered in 2 inches of fresh snow). Life is good (except for the part about snow), so we’re having a contest.

This time we're teaming with our favorite supplier of casualuxe footwear: Hydrogen-1. Take our latest quiz, and you may win a pair of limited-edition "Neptunians" — aka the striking suede slip-ons pictured above.

If you're wondering, their rich hue is officially known as "Capri blue," after the waters that surround the Italian island whose beaches are so desirable it was attracting tourists even before cruise ships were invented. (Roman emperor Augustus had a summer palace there.)

The Neptunians are manufactured in Italy, in the Le Marche region, where four out of every ten residents are employed in the footwear industry and the other six know an awful lot about elasticized gores and textured toe-foxing. The Neptunians feature blue suede leather, a full leather lining, and a vibe that practically guarantees sunny skies overhead and competent bartenders near at hand. Retail price, $355. But one of you people is going to get a pair for free.

Here's how this works.

1) Take the quiz. The deadline to submit is 11:59 PM CST on May 15.

2) Everyone who scores 100 percent on the quiz and tweets the link will be entered into a drawing we'll hold the week after the contest closes. Winner gets the Neptunians. (Note: These shoes come in whole sizes 7 – 12. If your feet are bigger than that and you win, you will have to cut off your toes.)

3) We'll announce the lucky winner, and share this information with Hero Nakatani, the proprietor of Hydrogen-1. Hero will take it from there, providing you with instructions on how to order your shoes.



HINTS

1) http://hydrogen-1.com/collections/le-summer-2014/products/neptunium
2) http://www.universetoday.com/21669/temperature-of-neptune/
3) http://www.criterion.com/current/posts/240-contempt-the-story-of-a-marriage
4. http://hydrogen-1.com/collections/le-summer-2014

The Winner of the 4th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

The Winner of the 4th-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge Is…

Here are the correct answers to the challenge:

1. Harry Truman
2. Winston Churchill
3. Johnny Depp
4. William Faulkner
5. Clark Gable
6. Dean Martin
7. Hunter S. Thompson
8. Humphrey Bogart
9. Franklin Roosevelt

Many of you scored 100 percent — nice work! But of course there was the tiebreaker question too, and that was, by design, somewhat difficult. Namely: What do these nine men have in common? No, they are not all Freemasons, and no, they are not all dead, although Johnny Depp does fall victim to an annual death hoax. One entry did correctly note that they are all white. But the answer we were looking for is that whiskey was/is their preferred poison, either drunk straight or as the main spirit in their favorite cocktail. Of course, bourbon is the main spirit in our favorite cocktail, The Magnificent Bastard.

Only two entrants got this correct: Andrew Klein and Maxwell Bernt. Because there can only be one winner, we needed a tiebreaker tiebreaker. So we flipped a coin. Andrew was heads and Maxwell was tails. And the winner is...

Maxwell Bernt

Enjoy your new pair of Allyn Scura frames. We recommend The Legend or The Sergio. Or perhaps put your $125 credit towards these new old stock Graceline Optical Darrens in demi-amber. It's your choice.

And, Andrew, while fate was not on your side in the tiebreaker tiebreaker, we'd still like to offer you a consolation prize in the form of a tie. Tell us which of our ties you'd like, and we'll send one out to you.

Thanks to everyone who played and we'll see you again next year.

MB Contest: Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

Welcome to the 4rd Kind-of-Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

THE CHALLENGE: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) or a $125 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's up to you.

To enter simply fill out the form below with the names of the men pictured, and, in the unlikely event of a tie, what they all have in common. One entry per person. USA only. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is Monday, March 31 at midnight CDT.

Deo Veritas Shirt Contest Winners

Deo Veritas Shirt Contest Winners

It is time to announce the winners of our contest. There are two, and they are each getting a made-to-measure shirt from our favorite online custom shirtmaker, Deo Veritas, because they a.) correctly answered all the questions on our our quiz and b.) were lucky enough to have their entry number chosen by the random number generator at random.org.

Congratulations, Paul Loya and Patrick Duffin! May we suggest something in purple gingham?

Deo Veritas owner Vinnie Sikka will be in touch with details, and if you feel like tweeting your good fortune to the world, we will not object! (And if you want to keep it all to yourself, that's fine too.).

Meanwhile, if your name is neither Paul Loya nor Patrick Duffin, do not despair. Starting on March 1 we're doing our 4th-annual (if you don't count 2013) Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, where you ID famous people wearing glasses and the winner picks up a free pair of Allyn Scura frames. For April we're working on something with our new favorite shoemaker, Hydrogen-1.

Finally, we'd like to give a shout-out to the surprisingly large number of you who guessed that gin is the secret ingredient in our Buckley tie. Our tie manufacturer tells us it's impossible to create a tie with an ABV of 5% or higher, but given your seeming desire for such a product, we're asking him to experiment harder. For the record, here is the Deo Veritas Quiz with the correct answers in bold:

1. What is the secret ingredient that gives our Buckley ties their rakish confidence?
      a. Gin
      b. First-rate Ivy League education
      c. White wooly fibers that resemble Gandalf's beard
      d. Orlon

2. What was Joseph Kandell’s job description at his previous gig?
      a. Communications officer
      b. Consumer-facing legacy accessories specialist
      c. Book publishing editorial assistant
      d. User experience designer

3. How many cuff styles does Deo Veritas offer?
      a. 8
      a. 8
      a. 8
      a. 8

4. Which material is not used in the construction of our Pretty Nice Rack?
      a. Solid white oak
      b. Oil-impregnated bronze
      c. Eight-point buck antlers
      d. Medical-grade silicone

5. Do you have to have health insurance to purchase a Buscemi?
      a. Yes.
      b. No.
      c. It depends on whether Obamacare is repealed or not.
      d. Strictly speaking, no. But it couldn’t hurt.

Earlier:
Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge - Year 1
Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge - Year 2
Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge - Year 3

Win a Custom Shirt from Deo Veritas! Dress. Casual. You Choose.

Shirtjacking Mistress in Carolina Blue Gingham via Deo Veritas
Shirtjacking Mistress in Carolina Blue Gingham via Deo Veritas.

To kick off the new year, we're having a contest. Take a simple quiz, and you may win a free custom shirt, compliments of Deo Veritas.

Longtime readers of this site will recognize that name. We previously reviewed seven custom shirt-makers. And after our meticulous and comprehensive assessment, we decided that the shirt Deo Veritas made for us was our favorite. We've been fans ever since.

Here's how the contest works.

1) Take the quiz. The deadline to submit is 11:59 PM CST on January 31.

2) Everyone who scores 100 percent on the quiz will be entered into a drawing we'll hold the first week of February. We'll choose two winners. Each winner will receive a free custom shirt from Deo Veritas.

3) We'll announce the winners, and share this information with Vinnie Sikka, the proprietor of Deo Veritas. Vinnie will take it from there, providing you with instructions on how to order your complimentary custom shirt.

4) Design your custom shirt at Deoveritas.com, using the simple-to-use online ordering system. You'll have a choice of 170 different fabrics, 12 collar styles, 8 different cuffs, etc. As you experiment with different options, Deo Veritas renders it in 3D to help you visualize your ultimate shirt.



HINTS

1. The Buckley Tie
2. Joseph Kandell's LinkedIn Profile
3. Deo Veritas Cuff Styles
4. The Pretty Nice Rack
5. The Buscemi Tie

Tieing One On for Repeal Day

Pictured: The Kakutani. And Amanda.
Pictured: The Kakutani. And Amanda.

Eighty years ago today, America ended its disastrous bout of enforced sobriety and made it legal to get shitfaced in public with strangers again. Prosperity followed.

In honor of Repeal Day, we opened a fresh bottle of Bulleit and starting drinking MBs. By the third round, we figured we should spread the Christmas cheer and have a contest. Here’s how it works.

Go to our Twitter feed — @magbas — and retweet our tweet about drinking MBs on Repeal Day.

Then fire off an email to shop@magnificentbastard.com with your address, and one of our offshore customer service elves will send you one of our Made in USA Disposable Letterpress Beverage Shields. You’ll be automatically entered in a drawing for a free tie from our new shop.

The contest is in effect until 3PM, Friday December 6, Central Time. At that point, we’ll pick a winner from one of the qualifying entries, and one lucky winner will get his or her choice of tie.

Prost!

MB Contest: Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge

MB Contest: Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge
Welcome to the 3rd Annual Allyn Scura Eyewear Challenge, sponsored by our all-time favorite eyewear and sunglass outfitter, Allyn Scura.

The challenge: Identify the nine bespectacled or sunglassified MBs above and you will be entered to win a pair of Allyn Scura frames ($175 value) — like The Legend favored by reigning People "Sexiest Man Alive" Bradley Cooper — or a $100 credit you can apply toward any vintage frames Allyn Scura carries. It's entirely up to you.

To enter simply email editor@magnificentbastard.com with the names of the men pictured, and in the unlikely event of a tie — this is the hardest contest yet — what they all have in common. One entry per email address. Good luck. The deadline for this contest is next Friday, March 9th.

Earlier: Bradley Cooper in a pair of Allyn Scura Legends with A-list-only blue lenses.

Update: Ben Aitkin correctly identified the MBs pictured above. Top to bottom, left to right:

Frank Lloyd Wright
Spencer Tracy
Orson Welles
Gene Wilder
Bob Ueker
Chris Farley
Steve Miller
Les Paul
Willem Dafoe

He also got the tiebreaker correct (along with a bunch of other fellas): They were all born in Wisconsin.

What the others not do was get their name randomly picked from a Super Bowl XLV hat. Congrats Ben. Enjoy your new glasses from Allyn Scura.

MB CONTEST ALERT: Judge Randy Jackson's Awful Billboard Awards Getup

MB CONTEST ALERT: Judge Randy Jackson's Awful Billboard Awards Getup
We came across this photo of Randy Jackson at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards earlier this week and have been speechless ever since. Seriously, dawg, we're just not feeling it. By our count, Randy's only wearing eleven visible articles of clothing and accessories, and yet we see at least a dozen style misdemeanors!

If you can identify ten or more, send us an email by midnight CT on Memorial Day and we'll throw your name into a hat. On Tuesday, we'll pick one lucky winner, and that winner can pick one of these recommended Mountain and Sackett ties that are guaranteed, in their perfectly executed understatement, to add more style to your wardrobe than there is to be found in whatever extremely large vault Randy Jackson stores his vast collection of shiny baubles. Good luck!









UPDATE: Winner of the Judge Randy Jackson contest is Mark Delich, who offered the following 11 style misdemeanors:

1) Shiny pleather jacket with excessive pockets/snaps
2) Over-sized clock watch
3) Exposed crucifix on necklace
4) Multiple bracelets/cause wrist band
5) Over-sized wedding ring with stones
6) Soul patch
7) Graphic t-shirt with skull
8) Fat man wearing skinny jeans
9) Excessively glossy and pointy shoes
10) Diamond earring
11) Overall age appropriateness

We also would've accepted "fat man wearing skinny jacket," "flooded pants," and "legible clothing."

Ed. note: This contest far exceeded expectations. Thanks to all who entered and we'll do another one soon.

Win a Deo Veritas Custom Shirt

Brigitte Bardot vs. Pam Anderson is like sewn collars vs. fused collars
Brigitte Bardot vs. Pam Anderson is like sewn collars vs. fused collars
If you're looking for a custom shirt, you've got multiple choices these days. One of our favorites is Deo Veritas. To help celebrate its revamped website and streamlined ordering process, we're collaborating on a contest. All you have to do is take this short shirt quiz.

Entries that include all the correct answers will get thrown into a hat, and one lucky winner will get a Deo Veritas custom shirt of his choosing. That's right, any fabric, any options — the winner gets whatever he (or she) wants. In all, this represents a potential $195 value. So get right to it and take the quiz. If you're stumped for answers, here are some good places to look:

* Deo Veritas fabrics
* The Perfect Dress Shirt
* Deo Veritas Shirt-Maker Tool
* Deo Veritas FAQ

Deadline is 11:59 PM CT, Friday, April 22. Winner to be announced Monday, April 25. Good luck!

Take the African Dictator Challenge and Win a Free Shirt From Read's Clothing Project

Take the African Dictator Challenge and Win a Free Shirt From Read's Clothing Project
Typically, all we ask of a shirt here at MB is that it look good, be relatively maintenance-free, and refrain from making any lengthy remarks about Jesus or the local price of mustache rides. Read Wall, on the other hand, is more ambitious than us. You may have noticed his ad over there in the column to your left, the one pitching shirts that make the world smarter.

Read, it turns out, is a man with a dream, and that dream involves selling these three excellent shirts and using a portion of the proceeds to help fund a school in Tanzania. That sounded noble to us, and wanting to help out, we asked if he'd like to donate a shirt as a prize for one of our contests.

If you're wondering how us getting a free shirt to give to one of our readers qualifies as a noble gesture on our parts, well, what can we say? We're new to this altruism stuff. But Read agreed to our suggestion anyway, so if you want a shot at a shirt of your choosing, follow this link, and play a matching game about the accessorization trademarks of five notorious African dictators.

On Friday, March 4 at midnight CT, we'll put the names of everyone who answered everything correctly in our new Super Bowl XLV hat and name a winner on Monday, March 6. Pick any one you want (we're partial to the awesome jumbo-check navy gingham).

PLAY NOW!

Reminder: Magnificent Bastard Eyewear Challenge

Reminder: Magnificent Bastard Eyewear Challenge
Just a reminder that the deadline to enter the Magnificent Bastard Eyewear Challenge is tonight at 11:59:59 CT. It's sponsored by the official MB eyewear outfitter, Allyn Scura.

One thing we forgot to mention when we launched the contest is that non-Rx lenses are part of the deal. So if you are a recent Lasik patient and just need a pair of shades, you can turn the AS Legend frame into a pair of sunglasses, like Bradley Cooper has done here.

Good luck!

Free Stuff Reminder: Malcolm Fontier Duffel Bag

Free Stuff Reminder: Malcolm Fontier Duffel Bag
As Malcolm Fontier founders Malcolm Fontier and Gabrielle Kennedy are testing their new line of bags by eating their way across Europe and are now likely busy foraging for grubs in the jungles of Congo, we're giving away their duffel, dubbed the "New Yorker." What do you have to do to enter the contest? Follow MB by midnight CT tonight (Friday, October 29). We'll pick a winner and announce the lucky Bastard (or Spectacular Bitch) on Monday.

MB Giveaway: Malcolm Fontier 'New Yorker' Bag

MB Giveaway: Malcolm Fontier 'New Yorker' Bag
Malcolm Fontier founders Malcolm Fontier and Gabrielle Kennedy are promoting their new carry-on, duffel, and tote by using them on a trip from the cafes of Copenhagen to the mud huts of the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Magnificent Bastard is doing its part from its comfy offices in Wisconsin by giving away the duffel, dubbed the "New Yorker." It holds enough duds for an overnight trip (or weekend jaunt if you pack well) and a laptop, too. It's a $285 value. All you have to do to enter is follow MB. Entry deadline is Friday, October 29 and we'll randomly pick a winner on Monday, November 1. (While Malcolm and Gabrielle may be on an international trip, ya gotta live in the United States to claim this prize.)

Meanwhile, if you're like us and have sent your wallet to a fat farm, their Mojito is an affordable option ($29) that efficiently holds all you need: a couple of cards and few twenties.

Deadline Alert

Deadline Alert
A reminder to readers that it's the last day to enter the J. Fold "Trooper" Bag giveaway. Just follow @magbas to enter. On Monday we'll give twitRand(); a whirl to pick the winner. Direct message to that lucky contestant: you're gonna love this bag.

Also, before we're back on the air on Monday, the auction will have ended for a Season 5 Mad Men walk-on role, where the bid currently stands at $16,300. If that's a little rich, this blue Betty Draper dress is bid at $1,805. (FYI, January Jones is a size 2.)

MB Giveaway: J. Fold 'Trooper' Bag

MB Giveaway: J. Fold 'Trooper' Bag
Earlier this year we searched high and low for the fine-looking J. Fold Weekend Bag, but they were so hard to find we dubbed it the Lost J. Fold Weekend Bag. The explanation from the folks at J. Fold was they retired the bag because it usually weighed more than its contents, and convinced us to give the "Trooper" a try instead. Their new weekend model is made from leather and (lighter) coated cotton canvas, with a design based on standard-issue Soviet military bags from the '60s and '70s. While it's certainly not as masculine or elegant as, say, the standard-issue Soviet assault rifle, it's built as solidly as one, and has quickly become our favorite 48-hour road/plane-trip bag.

Why are we telling you all this? Because we've gotten our hands on another J. Fold Trooper Bag and we'd like one comrade to share our experience. No drink recipe or poem required to win this time. All you have to do to enter is follow MB on something called Twitter. Entry deadline is Friday, August 20 and we'll randomly pick a winner on Monday, August 23. (Sorry world, ya gotta live in the United States to claim this prize.)

Bag retail price: $219.00

Big bag pictures:

Side
Interior
Top

Bike Contest Winner: Sarah V.

Bike Contest Winner: Sarah V.
We've got a winner in the "Shoot the MB Masthead" bike giveaway contest, and it's Sarah V.'s entry which best captured the MB ethos. And it looks cool, too. Also, according to Sarah, she is actually driving the rickshaw. For her efforts she can choose from the Broncks Raw, the Broncks Black, or the Breukelen from contest sponsor Bowery Lane Bicycles.

Thanks to all who entered and stay tuned for the next giveaway: a J.Fold weekend bag.

Bike Contest Last Call

Wish the box was big enough for a lab
Wish the box was big enough for a lab
We're taking Friday, July 2 off as we head to our various cabins even further north of our Pulaski, WI headquarters, so we want to remind you that's the deadline to submit an MB header photo to win a sweet bike from Brooklyn-based Bowery Lane Bicycles. It's nearly a $700 value. All entries must be sent by midnight CT. Winning tip: Get your girlfriend, wife, or mistress striking a pose on a bike. Good luck!

Last Call for Coffee Contest

Last Call for Coffee Contest
If you want a shot at a year's worth of free Magnificent Bastard Morning After Roast coffee -- a $495 value in all -- time's running out. All entries for our contest must be submitted by Monday, June 14.

The deal: create an homage to the MB Cocktail and send it to us. It could be anything really: a joke, a sketch on a bar napkin, whatever. Need inspiration? Here are a few samples below:

SAMPLE REVIEW
The Magnificent Bastard cocktail is foolish, even vile, but there's a certain nobility about it too. The MB cocktail is never mercenary. It's in search of an ideal. It has intellectuality, not mere sensuality. It is part of the irony of its fate that it is punished as much for its virtues as well as its vices. No, wait, that's Emma Bovary. The MB cocktail is just a really good drink. It's not as easy to make as, say, a Coke, but once you've tracked down all the ingredients, it's pretty easy. And here's a tip: There is no good way to pour 1/8 oz. of Laphroaig into a teaspoon when you're drunk. Or even when you're sober, unless you're a heart surgeon or something. So call your friends up and make them eight at a time. That way, you're using an ounce of Laphroaig, which is much easier to measure. Plus, you'll have eight times the fun.

SAMPLE HAIKU
Third MB cocktail
Artfully dishevelling
My sobriety

SAMPLE SAT ANALOGY
1.) SCOTCH : BOURBON : :

(A) Ed Hardy : Toolbags
(B) Grenadine : Bitters
(C) Sonny : Cher
(D) Apples : Apfelkorn

SAMPLE IMAGE


So go ahead and send us something.

Bike to Work Week: Shoes

Bike to Work Week: Shoes
For commuting and utilitarian riding we prefer platform pedals over clipless -- that way we don't have to change shoes when we get off the bike. But just because we're not clipping in doesn't mean we don't want shoes with some cycling-oriented features. Moving from dressier to more casual, here are four pairs we like.

1. Quoc Fam Fixed Shoe. $130.
A hand-crafted leather cycling shoe that looks as sleek as a Prada loafer, plus it comes with a super-complicated ten-step lace-tying guide? We're sold!

2. Dromarti Storica. $237.
We're not sure why, but these shoes make us think of vintage catcher's mitts, and we like that: Catcher's mitts for our feet, crafted by Italian designers. Do you want anything less when you're speeding through the city on two wheels?

3. Chrome Midways Sneaker. $90.
Chrome designs for the messenger demographic, so they know all the features it takes to equip your standard mid-top for heavy-duty bike usage: Reinforced shank to support the midsole, reflective material on the heel cup, a "lace garage" to keep your laces out of your chain, etc. Yep, "lace garage." It's that little elastic thing in this pic, and it works. Synthetics alert: The Midway is made from Cordura nylon. Normally we favor natural materials over synthetic ones, but if you want a tough, scuff-resistant shoe, this is the one to get.

4. Keen Coronado Bike Shoe. $80.
Here's a casual option made with canvas and nubuck leather. Like the Chrome Midway, it's also got a shank in the midsole for more pedaling power than you'd get with a traditional sneaker, plus a "a soft rubber forefoot pod for pedal grip." It sounds like marketing BS, but if you've ever experienced the banana-peel-like slip that can happen when you suddenly start pedaling hard on platform pedals while wearing shoes with slick and/or non-grippy soles, you know why this is important.

In honor of Bike to Work Week, we're giving away an awesome Bowery Lane Bicycles' bike. It's a $695 value and all you have to do is send us a cool picture.

Bike to Work Week: Pants

Bike to Work Week: Pants
Knickers are a great bike-to-work option if you work in a bike shop or play bass for a nu-metal revival band. But we like pants that at least flirt with our ankles.

Just a few years ago, casual bike-oriented pants that met this criteria were virtually non-existent. Now, there are more and more to choose from. They tend to be a little bit pricey because they're not produced in great quantities. But if you want a look that makes the transition from bike to boardroom as smooth as a seamless gusseted crotch, they're worth the investment.

1. Outlier 4Season OG Pants. $180.
Just like the Bowery Lane bike we're giving away, these pants are made in New York by skilled artisans. They're not made of steel, but they do repel water, dry quickly, stretch when you need them to stretch, and look great on and off the bike.

2. Nonetheless Dispatch Rider Pant. $188.
These pants are made out of wool and recycled plastic water bottles, which means you don't have to feel so guilty the next time you buy a liter of Fiji Water. Sure, you're adding to your carbon footprint by drinking water shipped from halfway around the world -- but you're also letting a sheep keep his coat a little longer! Life is all about balance. Other highlights we like about these pants: machine-washability, and "slimmer anti-sprocket leg openings."

3. Cordarounds Bike to Work Pants. $90.
By day, they're mild-mannered khakis. By night, thanks to strategically placed reflective material that emerges when you roll up the cuffs and turn the back pockets inside out, they light up like a Las Vegas casino. Or maybe that's overstating things a bit, so let's say a Reno casino. Either way, we're pretty sure they're going to be the brightest pair of pants in your wardrobe. Unless you're John Daly.

4. Swrve Indigo Denim Jeans. $100.
We don't advise riding long distances in jeans -- but with these, we feel like we could if we had to. Why? The seamless gusseted crotch, articulated knees, and touch of Lycra. For utilitarian riding, they've got pretty much every feature you could ask for -- cell phone pocket, reflective stripe at the cuff, low waist in the front and high waist in the back, and back pockets big enough to fit a mini U-lock.


HEY! We're giving away a brand spanking new ride from Bowery Lane Bicycles ($695 value) and all you have to do to enter is take a hot photograph with a bike (and preferably a girl) in it. Click for full details and then get art directin'.

New Contest Alert: Shoot the MB Masthead

Bowery Lane Bicycles' Broncks Raw via Bowery Lane Bicycles, $695.00
Bowery Lane Bicycles' Broncks Raw via Bowery Lane Bicycles. $695.00.
It's Bike to Work Week, and to celebrate, we've decided to give away a hand-made steel bike from Bowery Lane Bicycles, a $695 value. If you'd like to win it, take a photo that's suitable for our masthead. It must have a bike in it. A pretty girl wouldn't hurt your chances either. Send it to us by June 18, and if we choose yours, you'll get your choice of Bowery Lane's current three models, the Broncks Raw (our personal favorite), the Broncks Black, or the Breukelen.

A while back, a reader introduced us to Bowery Lane. Based on the look of their bikes, we gave them a tentative thumbs-up, but a steel bike hand-made in the U.S for only $695 sounded too good to be true. Then we discovered that Bowery Lane's bikes are actually manufactured in a Brooklyn-based factory that has been making bikes in the U.S. for almost as long as bikes have been being made, i.e., 1898, and has a great reputation for producing durable, dependable bikes. The founders of Bowery Lane, on the other hand, come from apparel industry backgrounds, and count Ralph Lauren, Bloomingdales, Urban Outfitters, and Barneys amongst their former employers and current clients. That combination of bike industry experience and apparel industry style has resulted in a great-looking but functional line of one-speed city bikes, and we're excited to be offering one to one lucky reader in honor of Bike to Work Week.

See the complete contest details. Browse our previous mastheads to see the sort of look we're after. Dimensions are 960 x 253.

New Contest Alert: Toast the MB Cocktail

New Contest Alert: Toast the MB Cocktail
This month, we've got a new sponsor, Bull Run Roasting Co., and a new contest. In a nutshell, tell us what you think of the MB Cocktail and you can win enough of our new Magnificent Bastard "Morning After" Roast to keep caffeine coursing through your veins for a year. All in all, it's a $495 package, delivered in monthly installments directly to your home.

Based on recent news, this contest comes just in time. In Boston, Dunkin Donuts is sending coffee drinkers away empty-handed because of water issues caused by recent storms.

In New York, some place called Cafe Grumpy is charging $12 for a cup of coffee. (Sure, we'd probably pay $12 for a cup for coffee at Seattle's Cowgirls Espresso, but at a place where they might not even smile at you, that sounds a little steep.)

If you ask us, this is a great time to take your coffee habit completely into your own hands. So enter our contest today, and you may get all the coffee you need for an entire year (and a grinder and dripper, and two cool handmade coffee mugs, too).

POURCAST

BETA

Rob Roy

  • 2 oz scotch
  • 1 oz sweet vermouth
  • dash of bitters (your choice, your mood)

Fill rocks glass with ice. Pour in scotch, vermouth, bitters. Stir. Garnish, if you must, with a lemon twist.


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