Magnificent Bastard

Friday, October 4, 2024



Witness Rehabilitation: Get Him a Suit

Witness Rehabilitation: Get Him a Suit

Last week former Trump fixer Michael Cohen testified against his old boss in a civil trial, and under cross examination "appeared flustered" and "wobbled," leaving questions about how the star witness will perform under cross in the higher-profile (and criminal) porn star payoff trial.

The NYT reports: "One option for Ms. Hoffinger (the prosecutor from the Manhattan DA's office) would be to extensively prepare Mr. Cohen before the trial, which is scheduled to begin in late March, though it may be pushed to a later date."

Top prep tip: Have him not wear denim to court.

Normally we are in favor of dressing down a notch. In fact, in Paul Fussell's canon "Class" he describes taking The X Way Out, which is what we've been shooting for since reading the book 35 years ago. Regarding dress:

...X people tend to dress for themselves alone, which means they dress comfortably, and generally "down." One degree down will usually do the trick: if black tie is designated, an X person appears in a dark suit (of a distinctly unstylish, archaic cut) and a notable necktie. If suits are expected, he omits the tie. If "informal" is the proclaimed style, his jeans will be torn and patched, his cords very used, if not soiled. If others are wearing bathing suits, X people are likely to show up naked.

Cohen's dad jeans are about three or four degrees removed from X-person styling guidelines, the equivalent of showing up naked to black tie. The next case is in front of a jury. Ms. Hoffinger: Get your client within one degree of star witness designated attire and get him into a suit, and perhaps even consider adding a tie.

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  • 2 parts Germain-Robin Craft Method brandy
  • 1 part Cointreau
  • 1 part fresh lemon juice

Lightly shake with ice, then pour into a ice-filled rocks glass. Based on your tastes, brandy choice, and strength of the lemon juice, you should adjust the Cointreau and lemon juice to find proper balance.


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