Magnificent Bastard

Friday, December 6, 2019



Ask the MB: Cane

Ask the MB: Cane
Q: I recently broke my pelvis and back in a motorcycle accident because some unmagnificent bastard decided to turn left without using his blinker. Thus, I am handicapped. Soon I will be able to walk again with the use of a cane. Where can a 21 year old guy go about looking for an MB-approved cane?
--Brandon


A: Sorry, Brandon. The only more annoying (and in your case dangerous) driver behavior than lack of turn indication is driving in the left-hand lane. Move over, asshole! (Please visit slowertraffickeepright.com for more information on this important matter.)

Sorry, we digress. What you need is what's called a "system" cane, one that has a dual purpose or function, like cane+knife or cane+gun, or our recommendation: cane+flask. As usual, vintage trumps new so keep your eyes on eBay. Otherwise, both Fashionablecanes.com and Target.com (!) have some options that will keep you upright. Or depending on what's in the flask, not.

POURCAST

BETA

Rusty Gets Nailed

An MB-updated version of the Rusty Nail (3 oz scotch / 1 oz Drambuie).

  • a healthy dose of a single malt scotch (The Macallan)
  • splash of Drambuie

Serve on the rocks with a lemon twist. An hour later roll yourself into bed (not necessarily alone).


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