Magnificent Bastard

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Ask the MB -- Principle of Organic Materials

Ask the MB -- Principle of Organic Materials
Q: Regarding North Face fleece, just what exactly is the principle of organic materials?

A: The principle of organic materials is simple: It's that organic materials are inherently superior to anything made by man, even if they are less practical. So when given a choice, always choose organic materials.

Try this thought experiment to illustrate the point: Imagine the ultimate MB -- JFK -- sailing a boat made out of fiberglass. Your head just exploded. See what we mean? Plus, given that organics are the result of Mother Nature, there are always slight imperfections that enhance another core MB attribute: artful dishevelment. (Note JFK's look.)

Use the following table to help guide your decision-making.

If you are about to:

Activity Choose Instead Of
Buy a dress shirt 100% cotton 50-50 cotton-poly blend
Side your house cedar vinyl
Write something down #2 pencil pen
Decide on a date The one with real breasts The one with fake breasts
Tee it up Featherie Titleist Pro V1
Climb Mt. Everest To wear pelts from Nepalese fauna North Face fleece




  • 3 shots rye whiskey (or to taste)
  • 1 sugar cube
  • Peychaud's Bitters
  • quarter shot of Absinthe
  • lemon twist

Soak the sugar cube with the bitters and place in the bottom of a highball glass. Mash with the back of a spoon (or muddler, which we hope has not been used to make a Mojito), add the rye whiskey and fill the glass with ice. Stir for about 30 seconds and then strain into another lowball glass that has been rinsed with Absinthe and filled about halfway with ice. Garnish with a lemon twist.

In-Depth Sazerac Coverage:

Ask the MB: Spring Cocktail Guide


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