Magnificent Bastard

Monday, March 18, 2024



Car Salesman Penalized for Roughing the Loser

Car Salesman Penalized for Roughing the Loser
Chicago-area car salesman John Stone was fired yesterday for wearing a Packers tie the day after the Bears lost the NFC Championship game to Green Bay.

As Packer fans too, we understand his urge to celebrate, but ultimately we have to question his judgement. Not because he said "no" five times when his boss, who has some kind of advertising deal with the Bears, asked him to remove the off-message neckwear, but rather because he thinks his "nice, smart tie matched [his] clothes." That diamond-shaped tie with a gingham shirt is geometrically incongruent! However, we do applaud Stone for the nicely dimpled four-in-hand knot, and point collar which appears to be sewn (vs. fused).

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  • 2 oz Bulleit bourbon
  • 1 oz Berentzen Apfelkorn
  • 1/8 oz Laphroaig 10-year scotch
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass filled with ice. Stir languidly for 28 seconds. Strain into ice-filled rocks glass.


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