Magnificent Bastard

Wednesday, June 26, 2019



Arnold Schwarzenegger Will Be Back...At Precisely 11:30 AM

Arnold Schwarzenegger Will Be Back...At Precisely 11:30 AM

Earlier this month, the New York Times predicted that "retro-chic watches with cases smaller than 40 millimeters" will be, in a medium-sized way, the next big thing. Which, of course, we were pleased to see. As longtime readers know, we are unwavering advocates of the 40mm maximum, observing it more faithfully than we do speed limits, point spreads, and suggested burrito microwave times.

Unfortunately, it's going to take more than a single NYT article to change some hearts and minds. Proving that toolbaggery is a timeless force, impervious to good taste and the vagaries of changing fashion alike, Arnold Schwarzenegger is threatening to release a new line of comically oversized wristwatches. Needless to say, skulls will be involved.

For aging bodybuilders whose failing eyesight necessitates a clock-sized face, but whose forearms remain powerful enough to hoist such an oversized load, we can see how these timepieces might be helpful in maintaining a precisely calibrated creatine dosing schedule. But at what cost to overall aesthetics? If you fall into this demographic, we still encourage you to get a smaller watch — your body may wither but your style will flourish. And in the long run, only style stands the true test of time.

POURCAST

BETA

Southside (MB-Bastardized)

  • 2 oz gin
  • 1 oz fresh lemon juice
  • 1 sugar cube (or half teaspoon simple sugar)
  • soda water (if desired)

Place the sugar cube at the bottom of a lowball glass, add the fresh lemon juice, and mash with the back of a spoon. Fill two-thirds with ice and the gin and stir for at least 30 seconds. Add soda water, if desired, and give a quick stir. Garnish with a lemon wedge.


In-Depth Southside (MB-Bastardized) Coverage:

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